


Blood and Honour

by tcr



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abortion, Abuse, Anal, Angst, Bi, Controversial, Double Penetration, F/F, FF, Fisting, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Hand Job, Humiliation, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, M/M, MM, Oral, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pegging, Rape, Torture, Toys, Violence, racist
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-18
Updated: 2018-03-06
Packaged: 2018-12-03 22:12:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 13
Words: 43,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11541465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tcr/pseuds/tcr
Summary: "To survive evil, Matilde knew, sometimes one needed to hide within it."  1933: In one moment, the lives of four friends are changed forever as Germany becomes the Third Reich under Fuehrer Adolf Hitler.  In a last ditch effort to survive, they make a fateful decision that will change their world forever.





	1. To Survive Evil

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Full Disclaimer:This is an original work of fiction. Original character resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The use of actual historical figures is done with permission where it could be gained. I own no part of the song ‘Horst Wessel Lied’, of which segments appear and are attributed to ‘Der Unbekannte SA-mann’ (the Unknown SA-mann) in September 1929 German newspaper Der Angriff. Original characters, story, and concepts are the exclusive property of the author. All unauthorized duplication is prohibited.
> 
> This is a change and a first for me. I’m usually a speculative fiction writer and I love history. So, I finally made a decision, with a bit of help, to write something completely outside the norm and comfort zones. I’m not much for M/M, usually F/F without sex, whereas it’s a combination here. I’m not used to writing history, but here it is. It’s been a strange and long endeavour, so hopefully this will entertain people.
> 
> Most importantly, though, thank you to my great and wonderful beta, Cloverreef, and sweetmamajama, who has helped more than a fair bit with it as well.

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter I: To Survive Evil_

March 25, 1933  
Berlin, Germany

" _The passage of the Enabling Act is a watershed moment in this country’s history. No more will we be weak, no more will we suffer under the ineptitudes of government officials seeking to better only themselves without a care about the German people. Germany has its strong leader in Chancellor Hitler._ Heil!” the radio broadcaster announced enthusiastically.

Even as the radio announcement finished and Joseph Schmidt’s voice began singing, the sound of honking horns reached up from the street below. A cry of excitement reached the open window as celebrations to Hitler’s essential rise to dictatorship started. The expensive, intricately crafted oak table in the middle of the apartment’s kitchen seemed to darken, as though it reflected the moods of each of the four people around it. On the table between them, the crafted table lamp, showing Atlas carrying the Earth, seemed a lot more than just an allegory to them.

“That’s it, then,” Friedrich Anderman said. He ran his hand through the blond stubble along the side of his head. A sharp look of worry and concern was written clearly across his face. It was not unlikely, especially since, like the rest of those around the table, this greatly affected him.

“That’s not it!’ Hanna Anderman countered. Though she was usually soft spoken and quiet when it came to others, Hanna was more than capable of disagreeing with the four around the table.

“You heard the report,” Maximilian Schmidt said from beside Friedrich. His hand intertwined with Friedrich’s.

“Just because we married you two as cover doesn’t mean this is a paternal dictatorship, Maximilian,” Matilde Schmidt felt Hanna’s hand slide into hers, their fingers interlocked. The simple touch of Hanna’s skin against her reassured and calmed Matilde. “You don’t get to make the unanimous decisions.”

“What else is there to do?” Friedrich asked sarcastically. “Should we just surrender ourselves to the mercy of the SA?”

None of the four around the table would have ever wanted that. The _Sturmabteilung_ had no qualms causing havoc and destruction on the streets of the capital. How many times had they witnessed the brown uniforms beating down people on the street, blood covering the sidewalk, and people stepping to the other side of the street? How many of those people had they known; how many of those people merely beating for being who they were and not fitting in with Hitler’s ideologies?

The simple answer was: too many times. They all knew what would happen if they ‘surrendered to the mercy of the SA’. It would be a stroke of luck to survive and, in all likelihood, they would likely be publicly beaten and killed outright.

“They’ve already had people just vanish, do you really want to be next Matti?” Maximilian asked. Matilde glared at him. He knew how much she hated it when he used her nickname. That was reserved specifically for Hanna. “More than a few friends have been part of that. God only knows what’s happened to them.”

“Joining up with the army, though? You’ve got to be joking, Fritz,” Matilde shot back. She felt her shoulder length bob bounce, as though a reflection of her anger. Like the use of her nickname, she knew that Friedrich did not like being referred to by ‘Fritz’ unless it was from Maximilian. “There’s got to be other ways.”

“Like what?” Friedrich asked. “Escape? Where? How? We have nowhere to go and less than a prayer in Hell getting past the checkpoints at the borders. You think anyone is just going to get through them, Matilde?”

“So, what? First thing you think of is joining the _Reichswehr_? You want to, what, follow suit and be the ones to perpetrate the same hatred that we’ve tried our best to avoid by entering into this marriage of convenience?” Matilde shot back. “How much hatred has already been done in the name of the National Socialists? How much pain and suffering has Hitler’s goons done? Terrorizing Jewish peoples, their businesses? Not to mention how much suffering they’ve inflicted on those dissidents that aren’t following the National Socialist cause. And you want to join them?”

“Joining the _Reichswehr_ is the best option,” Maximilian stated. “They’ll never look right under their nose. We can all be safe, we can all survive.”

“By terrorizing people not unlike us, Max,” Matilde replied. “Why should we attack them when we want to hide ourselves? We’ve all read _Mein Kampf_. We know what he’s planning to do.”

“I have to agree, Matti,” Hanna said, quietly. The comment drew an irritated and betrayed look in Matilde’s eyes. Hanna understood; if nothing else, she knew that Matilde had not expected Hanna’s agreement. Though it sounded cold, even to her, she would trade the lives of a hundred people if it meant that Matilde would be safe. “The SA are getting out of control, how long do you think it will be before they come search for us?”

“The SA are nothing more than thugs,” Matilde muttered.

“But they’re Hitler’s thugs,” Hanna said softly. “They’ll follow his orders.”

Hanna stared across the table at Friedrich. Though she hated the idea of joining the _Reichswehr_ in any capacity, she admitted that Friedrich had a point. The _Sturmabteilung_ had grown out of control, so much so that even Hitler had begun pulling away from his association with them, however slowly that may be.

“This act gave that madman nigh absolute power,” Maximilian said. “We know he hates everything not conforming to his visions of the perfect race. I’m in agreement with Friedrich. We need to be better hidden from them.”

Hanna looked at her girlfriend. “This is no longer a guarantee, Matti. The SA have destroyed homophile clubs, outlawed sex publications, and banned our organizations. We have to be hidden better.”

“It- We have to be unanimous on this, as always, since it affects us all,” Maximilian stated. “Do we hide in plain sight as part of the _Reichswehr_ or try to live this existence, as we have for so long?”

Matilde sat back in her chair, staring into Hanna’s eyes. They had been through too much over the past decade. Matilde had to stop and think about that; it did not feel like ten years had passed. 

It felt like only yesterday, not ten years. The memory of the playful kiss that Matilde had placed on the young, innocent Hanna on the playground surfaced. That lone kiss had ignited feelings within them, feelings that neither of them had been prepared for, yet neither of them had dismissed.

“My father died at Tannenberg, fighting the Russians,” Matilde commented, “as will we if we go through with this.”

“Remember Oskar?” Friedrich asked. Sadness crept into his voice as he inquired, Maximilian already knowing why. Hanna nodded.

“Of course,” Matilde answered. Oskar and his boyfriend had become her friends through Friedrich and Maximilian.

“The SA rounded him up a few weeks ago, no one’s heard from him since,” Friedrich said. “There’s talk of camps being built to house the _Untermensch_ , Matti. I, for one, do not want to disappear, nor do I want to find out what happens in those camps.”

Hanna’s grip tightened around Matilde’s hand. Matilde glanced over at her love. Hanna always worried for and had been the one concerned with their safety. Despite the ability to defend herself against Friedrich and Maximilian, Hanna’s shy, soft-spoken nature had allowed many people to simply walk over her. Matilde hated not being able to defend her love from attacks, not being able to be the one to stop people from casually stepping all over her sweet, lovable Hanna.

 _It was hard to believe that you’re a nurse_ , mein Geliebte, _my sweet, beautiful Hanna _, Matilde admitted silently.__

____

____

“So, how vote we?” Maximilian asked. “Do we go with the _Reichswehr_ or do we continue this charade, hoping not to be discovered? Aye for _Reichwehr_ , nay for the charade.”

“I’m not convinced, Max,” Matilde said, a little more forcefully than she had wanted. She knew she sounded like she was annoyed with the proceedings – which, while she was, she preferred not to let that show. “This plan screams of a lack of thought covered with desperation. We need to come up with something better.”

“Matti,” Hanna said gently, her other hand sliding over Matilde’s, encompassing it. “Matti, if it gives us the chance to stay together...” Hanna trailed, absently patting the curls along the side of her head.

Matilde stared into Hanna’s blue eyes. They held fear and concern; worry and anxiety twisted and contorted, swirled together like a summer storm. The softer features that Hanna had seemed as though they were going to break down, shatter into thousands of pieces. Hanna’s eyes dropped, tears forming in their corners. 

Hanna shifted uncomfortably in her chair, her lips quivered. Matilde was not surprised by Hanna’s abandoned statement or the tears forming in the corner of her lover’s eyes. Through their many years together, Matilde had learned to read her lover with only a glance. Still, Matilde knew she needed to do something to reassure Hanna she would never leave her.

Matilde knew that, even if she threatened to, she never could. Hanna was her first and only love, the one persone who had been with her through a lot, had seen things no one else had. Hanna had been there to comfort through hard times, had been there when they had discussed everything with Friedrich and Maximilian, had agreed to the strange plan, and lived with them all, constantly worried about whether they would be discovered. Who else could have that same, life building experiences with her now?

 _Besides, where else could I find such a beautiful angel_? Matilde thought to herself. She smiled. There was no one else who could match my dearest Hanna.

Matilde leaned over. Her soft lips brushed against Hanna’s and were welcomed with a sharp inhale. Within her breast, Matilde felt her heart race, just as it had felt the first time and as it always did when it came to her beloved.

Hanna inhaled sharply, her eyes closing as her love pressed her lips against her. Passion leaped through her, fire burned hot in her breast. Hanna was beginning to melt as Matilde pressed lips against lips.

The salty taste of her girlfriend came through as Hanna pulled on Matilde’s bottom lip with her own. Her heart pounded wildly, threatening to break through her chest just to meet and forever be combined with Matilde’s. She opened her eyes, a lock of her blonde hair cutting away the vision of her perfect woman.

Matilde felt Hanna’s hand leave hers. Her love’s hand pushed aside the lock of blonde hair in front of her eyes, disappearing from view for mere seconds before the soft touch of her fingers slid up Matilde’s cheeks. Matilde felt the gentle brush against her ear, the fires of love, hotter than a volcanic eruption, spiralling out from each touch. Red, hot flames that burned intensely, unsated through their years of loving embraces.

Hanna could see the torture that gripped Matilde’s eyes as she brushed against her lips. It hurt. Sadness flooded Hanna’s features, a silent lament for all the passion swept from them in the last few days. Matilde moved to pull back. Hanna desperately clung to her lips, finding her only real comfort in the soft, luscious embrace and unwilling to return to the cold reality that awaited her.

Matilde knew what Hanna had wanted to say. Matilde felt the same way. If there was a chance that they could stay together, they needed to grab that opportunity with both hands and not let go for any reason. Hanna was everything to her, more than even Matilde’s own parents. Still, to Matilde, the best opportunity to stay together was not joining the military, it was remaining here.

Matilde broke the kiss, leaning back in her chair. She stared at Hanna for a moment, seeing the uncertainty of their future, the worry and anxiety, that clouded the beautiful, sky blue eyes. Matilde’s own dropped, saddened by the sight. Hanna’s had always been lively, full of life and hope. Matilde’s heart dropped as she looked at her beloved girlfriend, knowing that everything had changed so drastically.

It was reality, now. Evil surrounded them, permeated their daily lives, mixed with the violence and hatred that seemed to be part of the new world they lived in. The _Institut fuer Sexualwissenschaft_ , a pioneer for rights and acceptance of all homosexuals, burned and destroyed, a symbol of what the new Germany was coming to.

Matilde knew they needed to do something if they were to survive. Their marriages had saved them for the most part, but she could only imagine that the searches, the investigations, would begin to be more in-depth and harsher. It was not hard to see where Maximilian and Friedrich were coming from; hiding within the ranks of the military was a good idea. The old saying of keeping friends close and enemies closer reverberated through Matilde’s head.

As much as it pained her to admit it, Friedrich was right.

 _To survive evil_ , Matilde knew, _sometimes one needed to hide within it_.

“Vote?” Maximilian repeated the question, pushing forward. “Aye.”

“Aye,” Friedrich agreed. He looked at Hanna.

Hanna shifted nervously. She hated being the center of attention, hated being the one everyone was focused on. Hanna felt her palms become sweaty, her heart racing, her eyes fluttering to Matilde, looking at her girlfriend, the only person who had captured her heart and the one she never wanted to lose.

Still, Hanna felt like she was being torn apart, broken in two pieces. She wanted to stay loyal to her dear Matti, but she felt they would be safer joining the _Reichswehr_. She was a nurse, they would need trained medical personnel to care for those dissidents they were removing from the street. Matti was teacher, but she had skills all her own. Yet, Hanna did not want to alienate Matti by siding with Maximilian and Friedrich.

“Aye,” Matilde broke the silence.

Hanna looked at her girlfriend, eyes wide in surprise. Hanna knew that Matilde had likely agreed to ease her torment and Hanna wondered how much of her inner turmoil had come across in her features. Hanna turned to look at Maximilian. “Aye.”

“It’s settled then,” Maximilian stated again. “Tomorrow, we go down and sign up.”

“Tomorrow morning,” Friedrich echoed.

“To what is likely our last night together,” Matilde toasted, raising her glass of water.

“To our last night together,” echoed the other three, raising their water glasses as well.

“To survival,” Maximilian stated.

“To survival,” the rest repeated.

Though Matilde echoed the sentiment, it felt hollow. Surviving felt empty when, to do so, one had to join evil. Agreeing with the thought to join the military, while doing so to ease the angst in Hanna, had only made her feel dead inside. Their plans felt like they were making a deal with the Devil.

On the other side of the table, Maximilian and Friedrich kissed each other. Their lips brushed momentarily before they connected. Maximilian’s hands held Friedrich’s cheeks. Friedrich slipped his tongue through Maximilian’s open teeth brushing his tongue with it. A soft moan came from Maximilian.

“We don’t want to see that,” Matilde joked.

Friedrich broke the kiss, long enough to say, “We didn’t complain about you when you two had your lips pressed together.”

Matilde gave a sarcastic smirk as an answer before rising from her chair and helping Hanna from hers. Matilde looked at the two men, content with each other, and shook her head. She turned back to Hanna, looking at her girlfriend for a brief second before leading Hanna down the hall towards their bedroom.

As the two women left, Friedrich broke the kiss, looking into Maximilian’s eyes with the same urges he saw Maximilian returning. They rose from their chairs, their hands interlaced with each others. “Come on, _Kleines_ Max."


	2. "-we're stuck holding our dicks-"

_Blood and Honour_

_Chapter II: “-we’re stuck holding our dicks-”_

The two men moved through their door and Maximilian closed it behind them. He turned back to the man he had given his love and smirked. 

Maximilian stepped up to Friedrich, their lips connected for a moment before he pushed Friedrich back on their bed. He bounced. Maximilian jumped on him, spreading his knees and moving up his boyfriend’s toned body. He laid a kiss on Friedrich’s lips as his fingers unbuttoned the white shirt. Maximilian kissed the side of Friedrich’s neck, leaving a trail of love along his collar.

Maximilian’s lips traveled further down. The taste of that toned chest was intoxicating. He could not get enough of it. Friedrich’s nipples waited, longing for the moment they would have Maximilian’s lips wrapped around them. It did not take long, lips suckling on the right one as Friedrich gave a soft moan of pleasure.

Maximilian moved over to the other nipple. His tongue flicked it before he pulled it back with his lips. Another moan escaped from Friedrich’s lips and he squirmed a little, shifting position. Maximilian’s hand absently went down to the belt around Friedrich’s waist, separating it easily.

Maximilian rose and he released Friedrich’s nipple. As he fingers danced along Friedrich’s waistline, they pulled the belt clear and nearly ripped the button from Friedrich’s pants. It seemed they, too, were anticipating what was about to come and were willing to abandon the two lovers to their session. They offered no resistance as Maximilian’s fingers pulled them apart, then yanked them down Friedrich’s legs.

Friedrich’s member peaked his underwear, a pyramid in his pants, and Maximilian enjoyed it, every inch of it. He pulled the underwear down Friedrich’s legs, the steel-like member bending towards him until it pulled free. It jumped upwards, straight and stiff. Maximilian was almost drooling at the sight. He hastily tossed the underwear aside.

He dove on Friedrich like a lion on prey. His mouth wrapped around Friedrich’s member, sliding down the pole. The air came alive with sounds of his lover’s enthralled moans; Friedrich’s hands gripped the blanket.

Maximilian pulled slowly up and the spit trickled slowly down the shaft. He took it in again, over and over, to the sound of Friedrich’s intensifying moans. He lifted Friedrich’s legs to rest on his back, spreading them, continuing his movements without losing his momentum. He pulled Friedrich down the bed towards him.

Quivers coursed through Friedrich body. His legs quaked, a shiver in his breath. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, his hands gripped the blankets tighter in his fist, trying to tear them to shreds. His hips tried to squirm, though Maximilian held them in an iron-like hold.

A ball of fire seemed to burn at the tip of his rod. It burned, fiercely, wanting to escape the prison, wanting to spread through his body. The pleasuring, the desire flowing down his member, through his legs and his stomach, into his beating heart. He felt like he was aflame, as though he was trapped in a fire. He twisted, his shoulders shifting as Maximilian kept going.

“Ooh, ooh! _Gott_! _Gott Himmel_!” Friedrich groaned. His hips thrusted, as though he could spear a bird with his cock. “ _Scheiss_!” 

Friedrich’s right hand released the blanket, his fingers sliding through Maximilian’s blond hair, grabbing hold of it tightly. He felt like his member was swelling to disproportionate dimensions, as though it was several inches around. 

He exploded. Every ounce of cum rushed from within his hardened cock and into Maximilian’s mouth. Friedrich’s hips thrusted, his grip on Maximilian pressing harder, pushing Maximilian down on him as Friedrich bucked like a horse. Demons grabbed his voice as the moan ran from his throat, the grip on the blanket tight enough he could feel his nails digging into the flesh of his palm. 

Even as he relaxed, moans flowed from Friedrich’s lips. His hand holding Maximilian pulled away. Twitches ran through his legs as Maximilian slid from beneath them, Friedrich’s heart racing, his breathing short and shallow, trying to sate his lungs. His hand let go of the blanket, the palm of his hand brushing it down as he squirmed. 

Maximilian swallowed as he rose. He looked at Friedrich, staring at him as he convulsed on the bed. Maximilian watched as Friedrich’s abdomen seemed to be in the midst of a volcanic eruption, rising and falling quickly, each moan and quick breath from Friedrich inciting Maximilian’s cock to stir.

Friedrich sat up, as though waking from the dead. Maximilian stared into Friedrich’s blue eyes. Friedrich was beautiful, perfect to Maximilian, far from the evil and disgusting things anyone else said about them. Maximilian pushed the thoughts from his mind; he knew it was a mood killer to think of those things, but they were close to the forefront of his mind.

The thoughts instantly vanished as Friedrich quickly rose from the bed and kissed him on the lips. The touch of Friedrich’s lips against his, the feeling of Friedrich’s tongue running across his, the smell of sweat that rose from Friedrich’s flesh made Maximilian’s heartbeat race. A drop of perspiration dripped from Friedrich’s brow, falling onto Maximilian’s lips, the taste of salt and Friedrich as sweet as ambrosia. The feel of Friedrich’s moist fingers running a course up his cheek, through his hair was like Heaven.

As soon as they left, his skin felt cold, as though Friedrich had given him the warmth.

They quickly reappeared at Maximilian’s shirt, working through his buttons. The cool breeze that fluttered through as his shirt opened caused a shiver, his chest flinching unconsciously. Friedrich stared at him before rubbing against Maximilian’s warm, sweaty body. Maximilian’s loins rose, his breathing shallow and quick.

“A little chilly, are you?” Friedrich whispered into Maximilian’s ear. “ _Kleines_ Max getting cold, is he?”

“Not anymore,” Maximilian whispered back. 

Friedrich’s hands slid down Maximilian’s body. Each touch felt like an explosion of heat. His fingers sent chills across Maximilian’s flesh and incited a quiet, wanton gasp. Friedrich’s hands opened Maximilian’s pants, letting them fall down to Maximilian’s knees. His hands slid into Maximilian’s pointed underwear, his fingers rubbing along Maximilian’s throbbing lust. Maximilian opened his mouth in a silent gasp, his Adam’s Apple jumping as he swallowed. Friedrich ran his tongue along the side of Maximilian’s throat, as though licking an apple.

Friedrich’s tongue slid down Maximilian’s body, across his chest, along his stomach, to the hem of his underwear. Friedrich’s teeth gripped the fabric. His eyes wandered up his lover’s frame before he teasingly pulled the underwear down Maximilian’s legs, taking his hands and pulling them down around Friedrich’s ankles. 

It took only a second before Friedrich’s hands were running against Maximilian’s hardened cock again. Friedrich spit into his right hand, sliding it up and down, wetting it. Slobber dripped off the iron-hard pole as Friedrich slathered the spit on, sliding his lips across it and adding more to it.

Maximilian reached down and cupped his lover’s face between warm palms, lifting his lover’s head off his cock, gently guiding him to his feet. Friedrich captured Maximilian’s lips with his, the feeling of his soft lips against his a wonderful sensation. Maximilian’s hands purposely traveled down Friedrich’s toned body, each touch felt like Heaven. 

As his fingers reached Friedrich’s firm butt, Maximilian twisted Friedrich around. His eyes darted to Friedrich’s ass before a resounding smack reverberated from the walls. Friedrich let out a stifled snicker. Maximilian’s hand squeezed the cheek, a sharp inhale coming from Friedrich. Maximilian grinned before he tapped Friedrich’s legs apart.

Friedrich’s hands moved to his ass, spreading his cheeks. Maximilian kneeled down for a moment, looking at the fine rear in front of him, a smile spreading across his face. There was no finer one in the entire world to Maximilian.

He licked his finger before running it between Friedrich’s cheeks. A shiver ran along Friedrich’s spine, the smile on Maximilian’s face grower wider with each quiver. Maximilian leaned closer. He spit down the crevasse, the glob sliding down as Maximilian’s fingers slathered it around. His finger circled the puckered pink muscle, coaxing the muscles to relax. Each motion caused Friedrich’s breaths to quicken before returning to normal as Maximilian teased.

Maximilian climbed to his feet, spitting into his hand. He spread the spit along his swollen cock, he guided it towards Friedrich’s hole. He placed it against Friedrich, brushing up and down, his teasing only bringing more gasps of anticipation from Friedrich. Maximilian beamed with delight as he pushed in. 

Friedrich’s back arched and his breathing became shallow and quick. A soft, sing-song moan came from Friedrich.

Maximilian thrust in with a grunt. A drawn out groan rolled from deep in Friedrich’s throat. His muscles clenched, tightening in a strange combination of approval and protest. The increasing tightness against his cock felt amazing and he wanted more. Maximilian pulled back before pushing forward again. A panted groan escaped from Friedrich. Maximilian moaned, leaning over and reaching around, his right hand grabbing Friedrich’s cock in his hand. 

Maximilian pulled back as his hand ran up Friedrich’s dick. His hand slid up and down the wet shaft, even as he pushed his own deep inside Friedrich. His left hand held Friedrich’s hips, keeping him firmly against Maximilian as he stayed within. A moan and a squirm came from Friedrich, the movement tightening Friedrich around Maximilian’s buried cock. Maximilian moaned, deeply and passionately, as he tried to pull back. He found himself struggling and he barely managed to withdraw halfway.

“ _Scheiss_! Oh, _Gott_!” Friedrich’s quickened breathing interrupted his words. His back arched, his head thrown upwards and howled like a wolf. 

Maximilian thrust forward, deep into Friedrich’s tight ass. Friedrich seemed to try to move forward, as though escaping Maximilian’s thrust, but Maximilian’s hands pulled him back, the entire length his cock hiding within Friedrich. Their moans joined together in one loud symphony. Maximilian thrust again, more groans and moans, grunts filling the room, reverberating from the walls.

“Oh!” Maximilian pushed forth, ramming deep within Friedrich. His fingers dug into Friedrich’s thighs, deep enough that he was leaving nail marks on Friedrich’s skin. “Oh! Oh, _scheiss_!”

A long, drawn out moan ran from his lips. His hips pressed against Friedrich’s ass as he sprayed within Friedrich. Maximilian quaked, his knees wavering beneath him, his fingers releasing their grip on Friedrich’s hips. His breathing raced as he sucked in the air. His heart pounded as he pulled back, his cock slipping from Friedrich, a moan coming from Friedrich as his swollen ass dripped.

Friedrich fell on the bed. Maximilian clambered up beside him and laid down, staring into his eyes. He draped his arm over Friedrich’s chest, shuffling over right next to him.

“You know as well as I do what’s likely to happen if we go through with this, Fritzy,” Maximilian said. “You and I are likely to get ourselves killed out there.”

“You’re sounding like Matilde, _Kleines_ Max.”

“I hate to say it, but she did have a point,” Maximilian said. “It is a plan drawn together by desperation. We should have left the moment _Herr_ Hitler began gaining power. Now _Kanzler_ Hitler has it all and we’re stuck holding our dicks and wondering what we’re going to do about it.”

Friedrich sighed in resignation. “You were for it too, remember?”

“I was, because I knew you were, Fritz,” Maximilian replied.

“Max, there is no other way to do this,” Friedrich said. “We’ve heard the rhetoric, we’ve seen what’s happening on the streets, we’ve heard about our friends disappearing. How long will it be before we are on their list?”

“I doubt Oskar thought he’d be up there,” Maximilian admitted. “Still, we should have thought this out, we should have made an escape attempt long ago.”

“Yes, we should have, Max,” Friedrich admitted. His arm slid up behind Maximilian’s shoulders and pulled him closer. Friedrich leaned over and planted a kiss on Maximilian’s forehead. “What’s done is done, Max. Nothing we can change now.” He brushed aside strands of his lover’s hair from Maximilian’s eyes. “I love you, Max. Always have and always will.”

“Same, Fritz, so don’t let anything happen to you out there,” Maximilian commented.

As soon as the women entered their room, Hanna kissed her lover. Her hands slid up behind Matilde's head and she could feel Matilde's right hand as it climbed up her back. Matilde's fingers rubbed along the back of her neck, causing shivers to run down the full length of Hanna's body. Hanna's lips broke their kiss.

Hanna felt her love’s hands slide down her back, lovingly massaging her rear through the soft fabric before ticklishly sliding under the skirt’s hem and against Hanna’s skin. As they pressed together, the sweet taste of Matilde’s lips entered Hanna’s mouth and she wanted more, desired more. That delicious taste was intoxicating and she knew she would never have enough of it.

Then Matilde pulled away, leaving Hanna yearning.

Hanna shook her head before pulling Matilde to their bed, her hands reaching up. As the first button separated, she could see Matilde’s eyes impatiently staring. Hanna smiled, knowing the tables had turned. Matilde wanted her, desired her.

The second button popped open and Matilde’s eyes never left. The bare skin, the cleft that began Hanna’s breasts, was like a magnet to her beloved and Hanna smiled at the thought. Her supple breasts and pale skin were as much an intoxicant to Matilde as Matilde’s lips were to her and Hanna would have it no other way.

“Where’s the fun if you do it all?” Matilde teasingly scolded, gently swatting Hanna’s hands away from the buttons. Her fingers tenderly ran over the exposed skin, the soft touch of her fingertips causing a sharp exhale.

“Underneath the wrapping,” Hanna said coyly. Her hands went to Matilde’s blouse. They had a little nervous shake to them, enough that Matilde noticed and stopped. Matilde took hold of Hanna’s hands, caressing them reassuringly.

“What’s wrong?” Matilde asked, bringing her beloved’s hands to her lips and kissing them. Hanna opened her mouth, but Matilde cut her off. “Don’t say ‘nothing’, Hanna.”

“What isn’t, Matti?” Hanna relented, sitting on the bed. Matilde let go of Hanna’s hands, Hanna letting them fall against her knees. “First, that stuff with _Kanzler_ Hitler, then everything that just happened out there? I feel...”

“Overwhelmed, Hanna?” Matilde asked, sitting beside Hanna. She brushed her left hand against Hanna’s right, taking hold of it gently and lovingly. “I’m here, as I have been and as I always will be. We’ll get through this, as we have before, together.”

Hanna seemed to roll over Matilde like a wave. Her shins lay on the bed on either side of Matilde, Hanna facing her love. She kissed Matilde, locking their lips together, her hands circling behind Matilde without hesitation, holding her tightly, as though she would never let go of her beloved Matti. Matilde fell backwards, dragging Hanna onto the bed with her.

Matilde slid the white blouse from Hanna’s shoulders. She hung it off her fingers as her arm fell to the side of the bed before it dropped onto the floor. She could feel Hanna’s fingers deftly working the buttons on her own blouse, feeling the fabric come apart with little resistance as the last obstacle was removed. A chilled breeze drifted over Matilde’s abdomen and she shivered, taking in a sharp inhale.

Matilde reached behind Hanna. While she unclasped the bra, she could feel fingers tugging at her own. Matilde watched as the cups fell away from Hanna’s full breasts. With some zealous help from her lover, her own followed. Her heart raced in anticipation at the sight of her beloved’s beautiful, unhindered form. Matilde twisted, reversing the positions, placing herself atop Hanna.

Hanna giggled as Matilde slid the bra completely off Hanna. Hanna’s hands worked at completely liberating Matilde’s own from her bra and blouse, the clothes falling onto the bed before Hanna pushed them off with a casual movement. Matilde leaned down, her hands gently and lovingly massaging Hanna’s breasts before her tongue flicked against Hanna’s right nipple.

Her mouth wrapped around it, pulling lightly on it before letting it go. It stood, staring at Matilde, tempting her, teasing her. Matilde smiled, licking around it, flicking it, tasting the nervous sweat that had come during the dicussion. Matilde’s lips left Hanna’s breast, teasingly moving up her beloved’s body, her lips running a line up the center of Hanna’s neck amidst inhales and a few soft, pleasured moans.

Matilde felt Hanna’s arms move between them, the soft, silky skin brushing against Matilde’s abdomen. It was only a moment before Matilde felt her skirt loosen. Matilde ignored it for the moment, continuing to kiss up her beloved's neck. Her lips climbed over Hanna's soft jawline, onto her blushing cheeks, as her hand brushed aside Hanna's blonde hair, uncovering her ear. Matilde's lips run over the curve of Hanna's ear before kissing it, causing Hanna to giggle more.

“Come here, you,” Hanna said, her hands moving up to Matilde’s cheeks and redirecting Matilde’s lips towards hers. “In case you forgot where my lips were.”

“I could never forget that,” Matilde said, her lips pressing against Hanna’s. “Never.”

“Good, because I would never forgive you,” Hanna smiled.

Matilde slid down to Hanna’s stomach, kissing the soft skin. Her hands worked on Hanna's skirt. She pulled it down and it dropped off her toes as Matilde returned between Hanna's legs. Matilde’s thumb rubbed the fabric against Hanna’s clit, her left hand rubbing against Hanna’s inner thigh. Sharp inhales came from the head of the bed.

Hanna panted. Teasingly, Matilde stopped. Her lips sucked on the fabric, tasting the salty liquid before she pulled off Hanna’s underwear and exposed the treasure beneath. She looked at it for a moment, her eyes glancing up at Hanna.

“Such incredible, alluring beauty,” Matilde smiled. 

Matilde spread Hanna’s legs, placing them beneath her armpits before Hanna moved them further apart. Matilde dipped her head. Her tongue lashed at Hanna’s clit, inciting a soft moan. Matilde felt the back of Hanna’s shins brush against her back. Matilde’s fingers moved up, rubbing the inside of Hanna’s thigh again as Matilde continued flicking the bean. Her hand teasingly brushed against the thigh, moving up towards her beloved’s clit.

Two of Matilde’s fingers slipped into Hanna. Hanna pulled in a gasp of air amidst a moan. With it happening at the same time, it sounded more like a choking gasp than a combination. Hanna flinched, her legs pressing against Matilde’s back for a second before they moved away, slightly relaxed.

“Oh, oh, oh!” Hanna panted. “Right there! Right,” she inhaled, deeply enough even she was wondering if she had taken all the air from the room, “there!”

She twisted. Her right shoulder rose from the bed as she twisted to the left, but Matilde’s fingers remained within, still working within her. She dropped back on the bed. Her left hand reached up to her own breasts, massaging them as her right hand gripped the blanket. She lifted herself, sitting up even as Matilde continued. Matilde pushed her back down.

Even as Matilde’s fingers continued slipping in and out of her, Hanna could feel the pressure building. She quaked, shivers running up her spine. Her pants became faster, louder, each breath more shallow than the last.

Moans and cries came from Hanna as Matilde lips wrapped around Hanna’s clit and sucked on it like a lollipop. They let go of Hanna’s clit, drifting down, even as her fingers slid in and out. She gently latched onto Matilde’s lower lips, pulling back on them and letting them go, snapping back like a rubber band. 

Hanna let a long moan flow from her lips, even as she seemed to convulse. Her back arched, her right arm supporting her as she lifted herself from the bed. Her left hand slammed onto the bed, her toes curling behind Matilde. She felt the pressure’ it wanted out.

“Oh, _Gott_!” Hanna moaned. Her legs pressed in on Matilde, her shins forcing her beloved Matti closer, her thighs threatening to pop Matilde like an overripe grape. “ _Scheiss_! Oh, _scheiss_!” 

Hanna opened her mouth to cry out some more, but no sound emerged. Her hips bucked wildly as a third happened, her body breaking down into convulsions, spasms occurring without rhyme or reason. Her arms flailed across the bed like a broken marionette, her breasts rising and falling like a volcano on the verge of eruption. The back of her right shin struck Matilde in the back of the head.

“Ow, Hanna!”

Through winded breaths and passionate pants, Hanna smiled sheepishly at Matilde. Matilde climbed up the bed, looking down at the panting and breathless Hanna, the sweat glistening in their light. Matilde shook her head, dropping down beside her beloved. Despite her panting and breathlessness, Hanna rolled over, kneeling over Matilde before leaning down, their cheeks rubbing together. Matilde closed her eyes as they did.

Hanna whispered into Matilde’s ear. “That was amazing, my love. So, very, amazing.”

Matilde felt Hanna’s cheek leave. She opened her eyes as Hanna’s golden hair seemed to float away from her, Hanna’s sensual lips occasionally brushing against her stomach. Matilde felt Hanna’s fingers grip her skirt and underwear in one, pulling them down and off her without hesitation. Hanna’s hands spread her legs, leaving Matilde lying spread-eagle on the bed, before Hanna’s fingers danced along Matilde’s inner thigh.

“Oh, _Gott_!” Matilde moaned.

Hanna cruelly stopped, sliding back up her beloved. Her hands wrapped around Matilde’s breasts, gently squeezing them before massaging them. She let her mouth do the rest, tenderly clasping Matilde’s nipple, gently and passionately flicking it, pulling back on it and letting it fall back into place. A moan escaped Matilde and Hanna smiled.

Hanna’s hand reached down, rubbing against Matilde’s clit, a breath from her cut short as she inhaled sharply. Hanna slid down and rubbed against Matilde, which sent shivers up her. Her chin ran along the hair before dropping off, her fingers continuing to work Matilde, Hanna’s nose breathing in the same scent that always met her. It was the same beautiful, wonderful, sweaty scent that Hanna would never change.

Hanna let her fingers slip away as her lips ran over Matilde’s clit. Her fingers delved into Matilde. The familiar tightness welcomed her fingers into the soft, wet walls. Her thumb continued caressing Matilde’s clit. Moans came from Matilde’s lips.

Hanna’s tongue flicked around her lover’s clit as her left hand massaged Matilde’s inner thigh, Matilde’s body quaking. She felt Matilde tighten.

Staccatoed breaths rushed from Matilde’s lungs. Her chest felt like it was going to explode from the pressure within. Her fingers assaulted the blankets. Her legs looked like they were trying to kick off the blanket, both legs only sliding across the bed.

“Oh, Jesus!” Matilde cried. “ _Gott, Gott, Gott_!”

Her heart raced. Her quivering fingers pushed against the bed. Her heart wanted to pound from her chest. She twisted her head, turning it back and forth, churning her pillows beneath it. There was a moment where she was worried she would pull off a full three-hundred-sixty-degree turn without snapping her neck.

As she felt the pressure build more, it was like she was having an out-of-body experience. Everything seemed to be distant, as though she was watching it from someone else’s perspective and not her own. It was not far from the truth, Matilde admitted. Just being around Hanna made it so that Matilde was high enough to brush her fingers against the clouds, close to Heaven.

She twisted her torso, first to the left, then to the right, trying to relieve the pressure, trying to push it forth. Her waist remained the only part of her not moving, thanks mainly to Hanna’s hand on her thigh.

“ _Himmel und Hoelle_!” Matilde groaned out, her back arched. Her fingers went numb and outstretched, her arms dropping limp against the pillows and blankets. Her legs remained rigid, her toes uncurling. Quick breaths sounded from her lips, unintelligible words coming forth between each of them. She moaned as Hanna pulled her fingers from within.

Hanna climbed up the bed, sliding beside her girlfriend. She remained silent, listening to the shallow breathing from Matilde, her left hand slithering across the blanket and covering Matilde’s right hand before Hanna rolled on her side, sliding along the blankets to Matilde’s side. Her right hand slid over Matilde’s body, Hanna feeling Matilde’s chin rub against her hair.

“I love you, Matti,” Hanna said.

“I love you, too, Hanna,” Matti replied.

“I know,” Hanna said, a content smile on her face. “I know.”


	3. "Can you pass?"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter III: “Can you pass?”_

_March 26, 1933  
Berlin, Germany_

The four friends stepped into the building and the door slammed closed behind them. It echoed through the massive space. Within the Spartan room, a fan lazily spun overhead and white marble pillars, designed in the Romanesque style, stood tall and proud in the corners, dutifully holding the ceiling. A painting of Otto von Bismarck hung behind the desk, the lone officer sitting there looking up from his paperwork. Behind him and beside the painting, the flag of the Weimar Republic hung, flanked by the blood red _swastika_ flag. The man simply looked up before returning his glance back down at the paperwork.

“We’re here to join up,” Maximilian said, stepping up to the recruiting officer.

“To fight the real enemies of Germany!” Friedrich stated, moving up beside Maximilian. He tried to sound like he believed. He knew he _needed_ to be believed.

“To get rid of the Jewish problem.” Hanna’s voice remained her usual softness and gentle tone. Matilde worried that they would not take her based solely on that alone.

“To stop the invasion of sub-humans and their ilk, to make Germany strong again, and to ensure that the embarrassment that was Versailles never happens again!” Matilde said. “And, most of all, to serve Germany in all her glory.”

“And of the _Kanzler_?” the recruiting officer asked as he glanced between the four men and women. A long, horizontal scar ran across his right cheek, appearing as though a canyon amidst the flesh. Lighter, spiderweb like scars covered the rest of his cheek.

“ _Heil Hitler_!” Friedrich stated.

“ _Heil_!” Maximilian echoed.

“ _Sieg heil_!” Matilde said.

Matilde was not sure about how the rest of them felt about cheering on _Kanzler_ Hitler, their faces remained cheerful and glad. Matilde knew they were forced. Disgust crept through her gut and up into her chest. It blackened her lungs until every breath was a struggle.

“You,” the officer pointed to Hanna, “you’re soft spoken and shy. Why are you here? You could not have anything to offer a great Germany except bearing true Germans for us!”

“I’m,” Hanna started, stopping, her eyes falling to the ground. “I’m a nurse. I could, I mean, I thought you may need nurses.”

“That we do,” the recruiter stated. “Name?”

“Hanna Maria Anderman, nee Bacher,” Hanna replied.

“Birthplace?”

“ _Muenchen_ ,” Hanna answered. “I was born 1911.”

“Huh, I knew a Bacher from Munich,” the recruiter stated. “Captain Alfred Bacher.”

“My father, sir,” Hanna replied.

“Ah,” the man said. “I see the resemblance.” He glanced down at the paper. “When you speak to your father next, let him know that Captain Christoph Bauer sends his regards.”

“Yes, sir,” Hanna said.

“Blonde hair, blue eyes,” Bauer commented, making the notes on his paperwork. “True German.” He looked back up at Hanna, “I think we may have a place for you. If you will wait over there, _Fraulein_.”

“Yes, sir,” Hanna replied.

“You?” Bauer asked, looking at Maximilian.

“Maximilian Erich Schmidt,” Maximilian reported. “Birthplace, Koenigsberg, 1911.”

“Long way from home, aren’t you, _Herr_ Schmidt?”

“Yes, sir,” Maximilian replied. “The inflation hit hard, I was told that I could find employment here, sir.”

“And what employ were you seeking?” Bauer asked, continuing to write.

“I’m an engineer by trade, sir,” Maximilian replied.

“Engineer,” Bauer repeated, his pen scurrying across the paper. “Blond hair, blue eyes.” Bauer’s pen continued to scurry. “Approximate six-feet.” He glanced up at Maximilian. “How would you feel about the _Panzer Korps_ , Herr Schmidt?”

“To defend Germany, we must all do our part, whether big or small, sir,” Maximilian said, pride in his voice. “If it is my duty to be part of the _Panzer Korps_ , I accept it without argument, sir.”

“Good,” Bauer said. “Sit there.” He motioned beside Hanna. Captain Bauer looked over at Matilde before turning his sights to Friedrich. “You?”

“Friedrich Wilhelm Hoffmann-Anderman,” Friedrich recited. “I only use Anderman, though, sir. Born in Koenigsberg, 1912. Profession, police officer.”

“Police officer?” Bauer asked, looking up at Friedrich. “That’s an honourable profession.”

“I felt it’s time to step up and do what needs to be done to stop this Jewish, Communist, and homosexual threats from tearing apart this once great country, like they did in the Great War,” Friedrich said. There was a forced pride in his voice at the mention of the so-called threats to Germany. “Our proud soldiers were humiliated, this country devastated, because of those traitorous elements from within!”

“Damn right, _Herr_ Anderman, damn right,” Captain Bauer said. “They and the politicians stabbed us in the back so deep that the great army of Germany was humiliatingly defeated.”

“They need to be stopped,” Friedrich stated. 

There was a moment in his expression, as Bauer looked down at his paperwork, that Matilde saw a break in the facade Friedrich had crafted. He showed that he felt terrible saying anything like that. Then it was gone, replaced by the facade again as Captain Bauer looked back up.

“Heer,” Bauer stated. “Sit over there.” Friedrich nodded and stepped over to where Hanna and Maximilian were waiting. He looked at Matilde, “And you?”

“Matilde Erika Schmidt, nee Shick. Born in Munchen, November 11, 1908,” Matilde replied. “Profession, schoolteacher.”

“Schick, Shick, Shick,” Bauer repeated. The pen in his hand seemed to convulse along the page, loops of ink appearing on the paper as he wrote the information. More to himself, Captain Bauer muttered, “I recognize the name.”

“If I may, sir, both my father and uncle were part of the 11th Bavarian Infantry Division,” Matilde commented. “My father was reassigned to the Eighth Army just prior to Tannenberg, where he was killed in action.”

“Yes, now I remember,” Bauer stated. “Corporal Hans Schick. He was posthumously awarded an Iron Cross for his bravery during the battle, I remember reading the dispatch for it. Sniper, one of the greater ones we had. It was a shame to hear of his demise.” He continued writing. “Any other skills I can write down, _Frau_ Schmidt, or is that all?”

“My father would take me on his hunting trips, taught me all he knew about hunting and weapons, probably enough that I could rival his ability,” Matilde stated. At least, when she had been only five years old that had been the case, up until he joined the ranks of the Army in July 1914. After the Great War, her uncle had been the one to continue her father’s legacy. Not that it mattered, both her father and her uncle had been great snipers during the Great War; they had both been awarded the Iron Cross.

“Hmm,” Bauer stated. If he realized some of the discrepancies, he said nothing about it. “One moment.” He gathered files, stepping around the desk to the others, waiting at the bench. He glanced between Maximilian and Friedrich before handing them each files. “ _Herrn_ Schmidt and Anderman, there’s your orders. Prepare accordingly, it is unlikely you will see anyone for the next few weeks.” He looked at Hanna. “ _Frau_ Anderman, follow me. You as well, _Frau_ Schmidt.”

They did. They stepped through a swinging wood door and up a curling staircase to an upper level. Captain Bauer stopped in front of a door and knocking.

A husky, growling voice stated, “What is it?”

“General, Captain Bauer, may I speak with you for a moment?”

“Come in,” the voice replied.

Bauer opened the door. 

Extravagant would have been an understatement. The room was adorned with marble busts of great leaders; she could see the bust of Kaiser Wilhelm I sitting behind where the General was standing, staring out the window, and one of Kaiser Wilhelm II off to the side, next to Napoleon and Field Marshal von Clausewitz. All along the wall, paintings of battles were displayed; she could see the renderings of the Battle of Waterloo and an image that she supposed was meant to be one of the Great War battles, but she could not distinguish which battle it was. The blood red flag with the _swastika_ was proudly displayed in both corners of the room.

“These two beautiful _fraulein_ are interested in joining the cause, General Kleinmetz,” Bauer said.

“And?” Adolf Kleinmetz asked, turning around. He looked at Hanna, then to Matilde. “They look weak.”

“This one,” Bauer stated, pointing to Hanna, “is a nurse. I thought there was a possibility they could use her at Dachau.”

“Done,” Kleinmetz stated.

“This one,” Bauer motioned to Matilde, “claims to have sniper abilities.”

“She’s a woman,” Kleinmetz stated matter-of-factly, “she can’t.”

“I knew her father, she says he taught her what he knew of hunting,” Bauer stated. “He was the best we had against the Russians during the Great War.”

Kleinmetz stepped around his desk. He looked up and down Matilde. “Can you pass?”

“Sir?”

“As a man, can you pass as a man? Can you be a man?” Kleinmetz stated. “You have a rougher look to you, which would make it easier, but do you think you can convince people you are a man?”

“I could,” Matilde said. There was uncertainty in her voice.

“Yes or no,” Kleinmetz nearly demanded. “We don’t let women hold guns in this army, so I will ask you again, can you become a man?”

“Yes, sir!” Matilde answered.

“Good, if you pass the test tomorrow, welcome to the Heer, if you don’t,” Kleinmetz sneered. “Well, if you don’t, you’ll be answering phones.” He turned to face Bauer. “Have her meet me at the range tomorrow.”

“What shall I sign her up as, General?”

“What’s her name?”

“Matilde Schmidt,” Matilde spoke up.

“Don’t-”

“Sorry, sir, if I am to pass as a man, I thought it prudent to speak up and voice thoughts,” Matilde said. “My name is Matilde Schmidt.”

A few seconds passed, General Kleinmetz stepping around her, circling her. Matilde started thinking he was sizing her up to feed to a lion or some other carnivorous animal. Instead, he stepped away, returning to his desk before turning to Captain Bauer. “Sign her up as Matthias Schmidt, Captain.”

“Yes, sir,” Bauer said. He motioned for the women to leave as Kleinmetz turned back to stare out the window.

 

The two women stepped outside to find Maximilian and Friedrich waiting for them. Bright smiles beamed from Hanna and Matilde’s faces. They glanced at each other before, with playful laughs, Hanna bolted down the steps with Matilde racing after her. They leaped into their husbands’ arms, enthusiastic kisses greeting the men. They played up their passion for passersby and the possibility of General Kleinmetz watching them; hair-groping and the strengths of their embraces passionate and loving.

Maximilian broke the kiss with a gasp and a winded pant, taken back by the sudden leap from Matilde into his arms. He playfully spun Matilde around in a circle, his gaze loving as it danced around her face. Eagerly, he asked, “So?”

Matilde giggled at the flutter of her skirt. As she was set back down on the sidewalk, she returned his look. “I need to go for further tests.”

“And you, _Frau_ Anderman?” Friedrich jokingly asked, a smile on his face.

“Silly!” Hanna said, playfully slapping Friedrich on the shoulder. Matilde felt a hint of jealousy tug at her heart, as it always did; how she wished she could show her love in such a fashion and not watch from the sides. Hanna continued, “I’ll be a nurse at Dachau.”

“Congratulations!” Friedrich cried out. If Matilde did not know better, she would have said – she would have sworn to all that was holy that Hanna and Friedrich were a happily married couple. Matilde even admitted that he sounded proud that Hanna had been assigned to a position somewhere. He pulled Hanna closer, hugging her tighter for a moment.

A sharp flash caught her attention. A man walked into her vision holding a camera, moving around one of the _Hitlerfahne_ unfurled along the street lights. He seemed to move like a predator hunting for his prey, hunting for that perfect picture to take. Matilde had an idea.

“Look!” Matilde said, drawing the other three to look in the direction she motioned. The other three looked back at her. “This is likely the last times we’ll have together. We should get a photograph.”

“Sir? Sir?” Matilde drew the cameraman’s attention. He looked as she and the others stepped up to him. “My apologies, sir, but I was wondering if you may take a picture of us?”

“A request from such a beautiful lady, I’m not sure I could refuse even if I wanted to,” the man replied.

“Thank you,” Maximilian said. “We’ve all joined up, so this is our last chance together.”

“Soldiers for Germany, I really can’t refuse,” the man said. He looked around, his eyes searched for a good spot for a photograph. A grin appeared on his face as he found a perfect spot. “Stand over there, under the _Hitlerfahne_.”

The four moved themselves under the _swastika_ flag. Maximilian and Friedrich stood in the background, Matilde and Hanna moving in front of their faux-husbands. Matilde felt Maximilian’s hands on her hips while Friedrich’s wrapped completely around Hannah’s waist, his head resting on her right shoulder.

The blinding flash of the camera caused the quartet to blink. White dots showed in their visions, as though their sights had been seared by hot pins poking through a paper cover. The dots began to vanish as Matilde blinked several times and her vision returned to normal. Maximilian stepped around Matilde and up to the photographer.

“Thank you, _Herr._..”

“Eberhardt,” the man replied. “I have a proposition for you,” he glanced between the four. “I’m a photographer for _Der Angriff_ , I’d like to post this on the front page to show people the strength and loyalty of the German people.”

Maximilian looked at Friedrich, moving to Hanna, then Matilde. They all nodded in succession. Maximilian turned back to Eberhardt. “You have our permission, _Herr_ Eberhardt.”

“Is there an address I can send you the photograph?”

Maximilian told him their address before asking, “Is it possible to make four copies?”

“I should be able to do that for you,” Eberhardt replied. “I will make them up right away and personally deliver them to you.”

“Thank you,” Friedrich said. Eberhardt exchanged handshakes with the two men before turning and walking away.

 

As soon as they entered their apartment, Matilde looked at her girlfriend. “Hanna, I need your help.” Friedrich and Maximilian looked over, giving Matilde inquisitive looks, though they said nothing of their curiosity. Hanna nodded knowingly. Matilde glanced at the two men, smirking, “Wouldn’t you like to know, boys.”

“No, not really,” Friedrich shot back, jokingly.

“We’ll get dinner ready,” Maximilian stated.

Matilde nodded before she led Hanna down the hallway into their bedroom. She sat in front of the her vanity, staring at her reflection and watching as Hanna grabbed a pair of scissors off the top of the dresser. The beautiful angel stepped back towards Matilde. She reached around Matilde, taking a comb off the vanity and staring into the reflected eyes of her lover.

“Are you...”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Matilde said.

“Okay,” Hanna said. Matilde caught the wisp of disappointment floating in Hanna’s voice, though said nothing. “How short?”

“Just like a man’s,” Matilde answered. “Like Fritz’.”

“Okay,” Hanna smirked.

Hanna started cutting. The long, silky blonde hair dropped from her head, locks of gold disappearing from the mirror. It felt weird and disconcerting; Matilde had never had her hair shorter than her shoulders before.

The haircut continued, stretching from seconds to minutes, then to a half hour. Each lock of hair that vanished sent a second of regret through Matilde, one that was crushed as quickly as it had flared up. Sadness took hold within Matilde.

With each lock of her blonde hair that fell to the floor, Matilde felt another piece of herself lost. She became less and less the woman she was and more someone else. Soon, even people she had known her entire life would not recognize her.

As the last piece of her hair fell away, an almost familiar face stared back at her. Her rougher edges showed more prominently without the gentle flow of hair. She rose, turning to look at Hanna. Matilde felt embarrassed, her hand instantly going to her head as she twisted away from Hanna. The stubble felt like she was touching a different person.

Hanna’s hand slid up, under Matilde’s chin, stopping her turn away. Matilde’s eyes locked with her lover’s beautiful blues. Hanna saw the look of shame in Matilde’s eyes and she pulled Matilde closer. Hanna’s hands wrapped around her girlfriend, her left moved behind Matilde’s head and gently guided it to her shoulder.

“No matter what, Matti, you always have my love,” Hanna whispered, “and my heart.”

Matilde lifted her head off her girlfriend’s shoulder. Their lips met. They never lied to one another; it was hard enough living their lives in secret, there did not need to be added stress of lies and deceit in the relationship as well. Hanna knew they loved each other more than playing games with the other’s emotions.

“Be honest, Hanna, how do I look?”

“Matti,” Hanna started.

Matilde cut her off. “Honestly, Hanna.”

Hanna ran her fingers through the stubble of Matilde’s head. She admitted that it was strange not to feel the silky smooth golden hair. Her fingers traced the line of Matilde’s jaw to her chin before running up to Matilde’s lips. Hanna stared into Matilde’s eyes, into her beloved’s very soul.

“Your soul remains the same, unchanged from yesterday or the first day you kissed me,” Hanna said. “You are and always will be beautiful to me, Matti. This,” Hanna gently brushed her hand over Matilde’s head again, “is only temporary.” Hanna lifted Matilde’s head by her chin. “Even if it’s not, you will always be beautiful, Matti.”

“I love you, Hanna,” Matilde whispered as she nudged against Hanna’s throat.

“One thing, Matti,” Hanna said.

“Hmm?”

“We have to do something about your lovely breasts,” Hanna commented.

“In a few minutes,” Matilde said. “I just want to stand here with you, my love.”


	4. "Prepare Yourself"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter IV: “Prepare yourself”_

_March 27, 1933  
Berlin, Germany_

Train whistles thundered within the confines of the station. As each train come in or left, gusts of wind tickled the women’s legs as their dresses fluttered in the breeze. The brown cloches the two woman wore covered much of their hair, Hanna’s pulled up into it and Matilde’s shaved head hidden beneath. 

The four friends stood on the platform, staring at each other. Hesitation gripped them, none of them wanted to admit what they all thought. There was no telling when they would see each other, no telling _if_ they would see each other again. 

All around them, men hugged their wives, held their sons and daughters. There was sniffling from beside and behind Matilde. The whistles went silent for a moment, allowing the sobs to be heard. Matilde rolled her eyes; no tears were forming in hers, or Hanna’s for that matter. 

“All aboard for _Muenchen_!” a conductor yelled out.

“That’s me.” Friedrich offered a weak smile then wrapped his arms around Hanna and squeezed.

They drew it out and let it linger for their audience. His warm lips pressed gently against hers with a wet sadness and urgency she almost believed. As their lips parted, his tear-stung eyes flitted to the one he was really saying goodbye to; his love, his everything, his dear Maximilian. His lips ached for him, though his arms felt useless and voice as he did the only thing he could do. He took Maximilian’s hand and shook it.

“We’ll see each other soon.” Though he was glancing Hanna as he said it, it was clear who the words were truly meant for. He looked at Matilde with a smile. “Good luck.”

“I don’t need luck,” Matilde said with a reassuring smile.

Friedrich leaned down and grabbed his duffel bag off the floor. Friedrich felt a hand on his bicep and he turned. His eyes locked with Maximilian’s, worry glistening within Max’s baby blues as his brows knitted. Friedrich knew what the dark cloud was, but he could not say anything that would alleviate that torment.

“Be careful, Fritz,” Maximilian said.

Friedrich yearned to hold Maximilian, to kiss him, and ease his fears. “Nothing to worry about, Max. I’m always careful and I’ll always,” he shifted his eyes to Hanna, “come home to you, my dear.”

Matilde felt jealousy rise within her heart. She hated herself for feeling it; it was stupid on her part and she was well aware of that stupidity from the outset. Friedrich and Hanna were ‘married’, they had to show a believable front when they were out in the middle of the city. Still, she hated not being able to show that same affection and love to her beloved Hanna.

Matilde watched as Friedrich stepped up onto the train. The engine wailed, air blown forth. He stood on the steps, waving to them as though he was some hero from one of the films they had watched in the theater. She heard the most beautiful sound as Hanna chuckled. Hanna yelled out something about how Friedrich should stop being an idiot, which only caused him to smirk mischievously and do a slight bow before disappearing from the platform.

“Shouldn’t you have been on that train as well, Hanna?” Maximilian asked as he looked over at her.

“No, I get driven out to my location,” Hanna replied. “At least, according to the orders I received yesterday.”

“ _All aboard for Moscow_!” another shouted. He continued with the several different exchanges they would need to take. None of the three paid any attention to it. 

“I guess that’s me,” Maximilian stated nonchalantly.

Matilde threw herself at Maximilian, emulating the rest of the men and women in the area. Her arms wrapped around him and their lips connected in a kiss, the others’ warmth encapsulating them. They held each other tightly and Matilde leaned into it. It was as though they would never let go.

Matilde broke away, looking into Maximilian’s blues. “Don’t do anything stupid, you hear? Like getting yourself maimed or killed out there, understood, soldier?” Maximilian offered a simple smile and a nod in reply. Matilde leaned in, whispering into his ear, “Friedrich would kill me if I didn’t say it and would probably kick your ass from the grave if you did.”

Maximilian whispered back, jokingly, “Don’t I know that?”

Neither let go of the embrace.

Matilde felt Maximilian’s hands slide from her back and she looked inquisitively at him. He winked at her before saying, “I still have a train to catch, Matti.” He nodded at the conductor hurriedly waving people over towards the train. “As much as you’d like me to stay around, I’ve got my duty to carry out, my dear.”

She nodded dutifully, her hands slowly withdrawing from around him. He smiled at her; it was a reassuring one that he often used in public, but, for some reason, it worked more this time than the others. Matilde admitted that, perhaps, it was mainly due to the possibility they would not see each other again. He picked up the duffel bag beside him.

“Don’t worry, Matti, we’ll see each other soon,” he coupled his words with a loving smile as he started towards the train. As though a ghost in the night, amidst the smoke from the train, Maximilian seemed to vanishi into the air. 

Matilde looked at Hanna for a moment. She wanted to play it up, she wanted to rush up to the train and try to find Maximilian, and chase it down the platform. That was what the actresses in all those films did when the hero, their lover, was departing for anywhere, was it not? She held herself back, reason and sensibility taking over. No one had done that on the last train and no one was rushing up there like a lovesick fool.

So, instead, she stood there and waved at the departing train, attempting her best to be the sad wife.

It didn’t take long before the entire length of the train had vanished from the station and was long into its trip towards the Soviet Union. Worry gripped Matilde. Angst clawed at her, slicing through her like razorblades at the thought that she may never see them again. She reached down, picking her bag off the ground, her lip quivering in her well acted part.

“I wish-” Matilde started, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I know,” Hanna cut her off. She knew Matilde was going to say she wished she could hold Hanna like that, that they could spend the time in the world being who they were. Even whispering was risky and Matilde knew that. Hanna felt the same way, wanted the same things, but it didn’t matter; the world they were stuck in would never accept that.

 

“Do you have a place I can change?” Matilde asked as she stepped up to Captain Bauer and General Kleinmetz. They regarded her with curiosity at the question before they turned and entered the building behind them. “You can hardly expect a fair and unbiased result if I’m dressed up like I’m going to a Party Gathering, General, Captain.”

“Right you are,” Bauer stated. Kleinmetz nodded in agreement. “Right this way, ma’am. I mean, sir.”

Bauer led Matilde to a washroom off to the side of the entrance. She entered it, staring at a small mirror. She pulled off the cloche, expecting to find her hair billowing out as it always would; instead, she was greeted with the stubble of hair. She smiled at her reflection and the person in the mirror smiled back at her, but it was not her, not entirely. It was someone different, someone who had changed herself to climb into the ranks of the enemy.

She pushed the thoughts from her mind. _When_ she made it into the ranks of the _Wehrmacht_ , she would have to stop that. This was who she had to be, this was who she needed to be, and, God willing, this was who she would be, without question and without doubt.

She set her bag down and removed her ‘new’ clothes. Maximilian had lent them to her before they had left for the train station that morning. It did not feel like it had been mere hours since he had, that it had only been an hour since she had said farewell to her own beloved. It felt more like an eternity since she and Hanna had smiled at each other and offered their friendly goodbyes.

She shed her dress and heels, sliding the leggings off and exposing her skin to a cool draft, then neatly placed them in the bag. As she turned, her eyes locked with the reflection in the mirror, only to fall with sadness. Matilde reached down for the bindings.

Subconsciously, she fingered the fabric that was meant to serve that purpose. It felt rough against her skin, a sensation she had not adapted to in the few hours since Hanna had first wrapped it around her the night before, and she found it a strange dichotomy to her softer touch, much like she, herself, was experiencing. She truly needed to harden herself, bring out her rough side and let that flourish, rather than the softer, feminine side she had long shown in public. Slowly, meticulously, she started to wrap it around herself.

As she finished, she stepped into the pants and fastened the belt nice and tight, catching the glimpses of her shaved head and newly shaped body in her peripheral. Who would have imagined just a little fabric could have changed her so drastically? Sliding the shirt on, she buttoned it up. In the mirror, wearing the same white dress shirt, a strange man stared back at her.

“Okay, Matthias Schmidt, you can do this! You can become who you _need_ to be!” Matilde said to herself. She kneeled down, packing the bag back up before sliding into a pair of Friedrich’s shoes. Though still too large for her feet, they were closer in size than anything Maximilian had. She doubted, very much, that anyone would actually think they were hers. They felt a little closer to the big clown shoes she had witnessed when she had been just a little girl at the Munich Fair.

She opened the door to the washroom and stepped out. 

She steeled herself before asking, “Permission to shoot, Captain Bauer?”

“Congratulations, Matthias, I think we have an answer,” Kleinmetz said, a smile on his face a mile long. “You truly can pass.”

“Thank you, sir,” Matilde said. She was not entirely sure if that was something she should be proud of.

“Right this way,” Kleinmetz said, leading her to another set of doors.

As soon as Matilde stepped into the shooting range, she noticed it was deserted. She looked back at General Kleinmetz. He handed her a scoped Gewehr 43 rifle, but said nothing. Matilde felt the weight of the rifle, mentally imagining it in her hands as she scoped the targets at the end of the range.

It was an open air range. A soft, gentle breeze fluttered across it, running through the stubble crowning her head. A shiver ran down her spine, despite her best efforts to hide it. She felt naked without her hair cascading down her shoulders like a liquid gold waterfall.

Captain Bauer placed his hand on Matilde’s shoulder. “Here.”

“Yes, sir!” Matilde said.

“That target is five hundred yards,” Kleinmetz said. “Hit it with a kill shot and you’re in. Anything else and you’re a secretary, answering phones. Is that understand, _Frau_ Schmidt?”

“Yes, sir!” Matilde answered as she laid on the ground.

The rifle was slightly heavier than anything she had used with her uncle. She could still remember the Mondragon Rifle her uncle had put in her hand, how it had felt to stare down the scope at the animals carelessly wandering through the forest. She could remember how the bolt felt, each time she had snapped it back, ejecting a round. His gentle words, his assistance in correcting her aim and finding the proper distance and wind, his patience as she had made mistakes. Her uncle had been a truly inspired teacher.

As she tried to steady herself, she felt the shoes distracting her. They were still too large, enough that she could feel the open space and could feel the slight shifts in movement. She set the Gewehr on the stand next to her, reaching down and pulling the shoes off leaving them lying next to her. She could feel the inquisitive eyes of both Kleinmetz and Bauer as she did so, caught them in the corner of her eye, but she said nothing as she placed each of her feet back down on the ground. She turned herself into steel, stopping any sense of shivers that wanted to ripple up her body from her feet. She picked up the sniper rifle again, snapping herself back into the mindset of a hunter again.

She stared down the scope with her right eye. She shifted slightly, setting her sights, readying herself. She calmly breathed, exactly as her uncle had taught her. She pushed her thoughts from her mind, clearing everything; all the worry she had about Hanna and herself, all the concerns she had about what was about to happen and the division she was standing in the middle of, the fact that she did not want to be a glorified secretary. Everything vanished and she became a temporary blank slate.

Matilde steadied herself. She pulled back on the trigger. The round shot from the barrel of the Gewehr 43 as the rifle bucked against her shoulder. Despite the pain that accompanied it striking her shoulder forcefully, Matilde said nothing, no groans or cries coming from her lips. She handed the rifle back to Captain Bauer, who checked it before nodding at General Kleinmetz.

“Follow me,” Kleinmetz stated. As they stepped down the range, Kleinmetz asked, “Why are you willing to change yourself so drastically in order to join the _Heer_ as a sniper?”

“Sir, I’m my father’s only child. He died fighting for this country, he died defending what he believed in,” Matilde started, stopping for a moment as she thought about what Kleinmetz likely wanted to hear, what the rest of the people within Germany wanted to hear from her and the rest of those in the _Wehrmacht_. Even as the words came to her thoughts, Matilde felt sickened by thinking them. “I feel that, with the world as it is, everyone needs to step up and fight. We can’t just _let_ those same elements that made my father’s death meaningless to continue to ruin our great country. Not now, not ever, sir!”

“No, no we cannot,” Adolf Kleinmetz stated. “I’m glad that you see the fact that we need patriots in this time.” As they stepped up to the target, he turned to face Matilde. “I can overlook the fact that you’re a woman, if you’ve completed this test satisfactory, _Frau_ Schmidt. Indeed, while many people out there tell women that they have to stay home and push out babies, they fail to see potential, both for and against us.”

“Sir?” Matilde asked.

“We are a nation surrounded on all sides by our former enemies,” Kleinmetz said. “The Communists drastically outnumber us. We need all of those willing to fight. The struggle against the chains of communism is coming. Germany needs everyone it can get to help out, regardless.” He turned back to face the target, looking over the concentric circles. “Direct bullseye. Remarkable.” He glanced back at Matilde. “Well, then, _Herr Leutnant_ Matthias Schmidt, congratulations.”

_Lieutenant_? Matilde thought to herself.

“Captain Bauer, have _Herr Leutnant_ Schmidt fitted for a uniform before he leaves,” Kleinmetz ordered.

“Yes, General,” Bauer replied.

“You report to me and only me, Lieutenant Schmidt,” Kleinmetz stated. “Prepare yourself, you have a long few months ahead of you.”


	5. "Through Hard Work and Determination"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter V: “Through Hard Work and Determination”_

_Dachau Concentration Camp  
June 2, 1933_

“ _Heil, Frau_ Andermann,” a man stated, stepping towards Hanna as she closed the car door. “Please, allow me to be the first to welcome you to Dachau political dissident internment camp. I am _Staendartenfurhrer_ Hans Waeckerle, commandant of this facility. He motioned towards a man who stepped up beside him. “This is _Herr Obersturmfuehrer_ Doctor Hans Weiss, he will be your direct superior here.”

Hanna offered a shy smile. Her fingers gripped the black uniform skirt at her side within an ever tightening grasp. Her words caught in her throat as nerves took over, her mouth suddenly parched. She tried to swallow, finding no reprieve; her mouth and throat felt like she had been eating gravel from the road.

Her thoughts raced and her body tensed and froze as a familiar silent and invisible force paralyzed her. She stared into Waeckerle’s eyes, but nothing came forth, the awkward silence growing, making her more uncomfortable, making her more nervous. She could feel the burning heat that ran along her forehead and cheeks, running through each of her limbs.

“Sir,” was the only word that escaped past her lips and, even then, it was barely audible.

Waeckerle’s lips curled upwards in a sinister smirk. “Ah, a quiet one.” He turned to face Doctor Weiss, “Looks to me like you might be lucky, _Herr_ Doctor.” He never got a chance to explain what he meant by that statement.

“ _Herr_ Commandant,” a man jogged towards them, “the new arrivals are waiting.”

“Thank you, Klaus,” Waeckerle replied as he looked over his shoulder. He returned his eyes to Hanna. “You’ve arrived at just the right time.” His eyes narrowed into a cruel glare.

Hanna watched as he pivoted on his heel back towards the internment camp. Doctor Weiss motioned for her to follow the two of them into the camp, though she did not want to go; she was worried about what she would find within. How many stories had she heard about people going missing, how many people had simply vanished into thin air?

A sharp, cool breeze ran across her skin, goosebumps forming as she shivered.

As soon as she stepped through the gates and into the camp, a sense of dread grabbed her heart and clench it within its icy grasp. Despair seemed to swallow the area whole, blanketing the ground like snow. The sadness suffocated those within its walls, hope crushed beneath the big boot of depression. The only protection from its stranglehold was the black uniforms patrolling the grounds..

A line of people, about fifteen men of the twenty, stood in two lines of ten directly in the center of the camp. It was as though they were standing at attention, each gaze on Commandant Waeckerle as he silently paced in front of them. A few of those prisoners defiantly held their heads high, but most seemed to accept their fates. Black uniformed men stepped – _no_ , Hanna corrected, they _hunted_ , they _hunted_ the arrivals, seeking a weak link. They wanted to find the strong one, the one that could hold the group together, to pre-emptively break any resistance before it could begin.

“Welcome to your new home!” Waeckerle began, shouting to ensure he was heard as he continued to pace in front of the attentive crowd. “You are all here because you have decided to speak out against _Fuehrer_ Hitler. You have decided to insult and degrade our loyal men and women, our honourable soldiers, and the defenders of the German people. You have given up your rights and freedoms because you have all sowed discord within the ranks of the population. This camp will be your home until such time that you are, if you are, rehabilitated.”

“Horseshit!” a woman shouted from the middle of the second line. She was one of the few with her head still head high, despite where she was and what had, obviously, happened to get her to Dachau.

Hanna withheld an urge to grin at the woman. Her breathing relaxed, her muscles and fingers stopped being as tense. It was great, she felt remarkable knowing – _seeing_ someone standing against the regime, seeing evidence that not everyone had fallen for Hitler’s bullying and hateful rhetoric.

It ended quickly.

Two of the uniformed guards seemed to appear like magic, materializing behind her. They roughly grabbed the woman and yanked her off her feet, throwing her to the ground behind the second line of people. None of them moved, none bothered to turn to watch or try or do anything. She felt disgusted by their inactivity, by their allowing what was about to happen. She was disgusted with herself, for being the same, refusing to move, to call off the guards, to do anything to help the woman.

She could not do anything to stop it. Hanna felt so helpless, as she had every time she had witnessed the _Sturmabteilungsmann_ or the _Schutzstaffel_ beating people in the street. Every muscle refused to do anything and she was scared at what could happen to her if she did.

Angry cries and defiant shrieks tore into the air from the woman as she tried to fight back against the guards. Each cry scraped along Hanna’s heart, reminding her that she was standing by and allowing it to happen, each shriek digging deeper into her. Was she becoming what she did not want to? Was she _allowing_ the regime?

Hanna’s fingers gripped her skirt fabric, her chest tightening, her muscles tense. She watched, unmoving, as the first guard raised his rifle, then brought it down savagely. A painful groan seemed to reverberate through the camp. He raised his rifle again, and slammed it down; three, four, five times, each strike looking more vicious than the last.

Cries of pain ripped through the air after each brutal attack. Each time the rifle descended, Hanna’s fingers constricted the fabric more.

She could imagine the woman being Friedrich or Maximilian. Another blow landed on the woman and Hanna could see it being herself in that situation, lying there, helpless and being beaten because of who she was. Worse, as another blow landed and a distorted voice, one that sounded nothing like the woman who had called Waeckerle out, cried out in pain, she could hear Matilde in it. The image of her beloved being viciously beaten to a bloody pulp ripped through her thoughts as the guards left. The woman lay on the ground, her chest barely moving, her fingers twitching, limbs spasmed in pain.

Empathic pain shot through Hanna’s nerves. Each cry resounded, each groan and moan a reminder of how truly insignificant she was and how helpless this situation made her. _No_ , Hanna corrected herself, _worse than helpless_. She knew that she was aiding the fear and oppression of the government through her inaction and the fear for her life.

“That should be enough to make an impression and show that you are to be on your best behaviour,” Waeckerle stated. “Let that conclude this abject lesson.”

On cue, the guards pushed the arrivals along, rifle butts impacting the backs of those not moving fast enough, forcing them on a march through the camp and in front of the rest of the prisoners. The brutalized woman remained on the ground, nigh motionless, a few twitches in her fingers and a slight shift in her legs the only indication that she was still, even slightly, alive. A moan came from her and Hanna’s nursing instincts took over as she stepped towards the assaulted form.

The woman’s features were covered in blood, her blonde hair matted by the red stickiness, and her clothes drenched with it. Her breathing was laboured and painful, each one seeming to take everything out of her, each breath accompanied by a pained gasp. Yet, even as Hanna leaned in, the other woman’s hand reached up and grabbed at the black uniform, pushing Hanna away.

“Get... Away... From.... Me, traitor!” the woman gasped out. She cursed the word traitor, acid dripping from her lips. Spittle dribbled down the side of her cheek, snaking from the side of her mouth as though she had tried to spit at Hanna.

“I’m a nurse.” Hanna’s voice carried with it the same compassion she had when she would be at the hospital. “Please, let me-”

“I will not,” she gasped, “be treated by the likes of you!” The woman fired each word at Hanna, as though ignoring what pain had to be running the length of nerves in her body, as though she had found a second wind. “I’d rather die!”

Hanna did not get a chance to say anything. In a matter of seconds, there was a violent and forceful push from the woman’s body and a breath across Hanna’s cheek, her hair pressed against her skin. A bloody read dot appeared on the other woman’s forehead. Her face contorted in a strange look of surprise and pain. The ground below turned a vibrant red. The sharp, loud crack of a rifle shot cleaved the air and it deafened Hanna for a moment before her hearing returned.

Hanna fell backwards onto the ground, unintelligible stammering coming from her lips as she stared into the dead woman’s eyes. They seemed to drill deeply into Hanna’s as though an accusation. “What? I... Where... Why?”

“You heard, _Frau_ Anderman,” Waeckerle stated, drawing Hanna’s shocked stare upwards, to his face, “she wasn’t about to accept your help. She would have simply been a drain on supplies and resources better spent on those who wish to seek our help and be rehabilitated.” Waeckerle stared, coldly, at the body in front of him. “Besides, she was a member of the _Instituet fuer Sexuelwissenschaft_ , a known and unrepentant _homosexuelle_. There’s no great loss there.”

Hanna’s eyes dropped with sadness and pain. She had known, just as the rest of them had, what she was getting into when she had accepted the idea of joining the military. Yet, to hear that her death could be so easily, so casually, dismissed because of who she was, it cut deep into her heart.

“Come, now, _Frau_ Anderman,” Waeckerle said as he offered a hand to help her from her knees, “let us give you a grand tour of the camp. It is a pleasure to have you here.” He smiled and Hanna could almost see a genuine sincerity in it, as though he truly meant the smile and the words.

 

“ _Kanzler_ Hitler has seen that the necessity to house, provide rations and medical attention, as well as protection, which is why we are all here,” Waeckerle said as the three stepped back into the main yard. A pleased smile formed on his face. “Even physical fitness has been taken into account via the work they provide, a benefit for the German people and freedom to rehabilitate and return to their lives as productive members of society.” He led them into the main building and up stairs to his office. Waeckerle sat behind the desk within, motioning for the other two to sit.

“Indeed,” he continued as the others sat, “even those society has given up on have their chances to begin anew. Gypsies, communists, criminals, _homosexuellen_ ; everyone here has the ability to redeem themselves through hard work and determination. Hell,” Waeckerle’s tone said he was more than pleased with himself and what he was saying, “ _Kanzler _Hitler has made one mandate of the medical community to develop a cure for the aberration of the _homosexuelle_.”__

__“That is,” Hanna started quietly, “great news, Commandant Waeckerle.” She did not think her tone held enough to carry the lie. She looked away, attempting to hide her features and the disdain she could feel was being written across her features._ _

__If Waeckerle noticed, he paid no heed to it, using the motion to jump from the topic of the camp. “Ah, you see the letter of my being wounded in action. Those damned British bastards, if not for them, I would have been an officer before the Great War ended!” There was a pride in his voice about it. “I did my damned best for the Kaiser and was rewarded with shit. _Kanzler_ Hitler has made the country stronger in only a few short months than the Kaiser did in years, in decades!” He rose from his desk, motioning for her to follow him._ _

__She did as he continued, “I missed my chance at an officer’s commission because of dishonourable conduct of the traitors and politicians, who forced us to accept defeat and the humiliation placed on the German Army. I vowed never again to let that happen. I vowed never to serve another weak willed, traitorous scum. Thanks to _Kanzler_ Hitler, I do not.”_ _

__Meekly, Hanna started, “Sir, this camp-”_ _

__“Is necessary, without doubt,” Waeckerle stated. “We must try to rehabilitate as many of our fellow Germans as we can. It is not their fault that they have been corrupted by Red propaganda or afflicted with aberrant disease. Even the criminals, they are merely a victim of the Kaiser’s abdication, the fallacy of democracy and the inflation that ran rampant from the imposed reparations. The same reparations that we were forced to accept because of the true criminals, the ones who surrendered us to the Allies!” He paused, then stated, each word a curse, “The _politicians_ , the _pacificists_ , the _Jews_!_ _

__“My apologies, however, I digress from the work at hand, _Frau_ Anderman,” Waeckerle said with a smile. He turned to Doctor Weiss. “Please, _Herr_ Doctor, if you will show our newest member to her duties, she can begin.”_ _

__“This way, _Frau_ Anderman,” Weiss stated and Hanna moved away from Commandant Waeckerle towards the stairs. As he closed the door behind him, Weiss commented, “Don’t let him scare you, he’s just been stabbed in the back before and truly believes in the cause.”_ _

__The two black uniformed personnel stepped into the bright light of the noon sun. Despite the black visor on Weiss’ hat, both he and Hanna raised their hands to shield their eyes. Silently, she cursed her field service cap, the tent like apparel adorning her head doing nothing to block out the sunlight beating down on them and blinding them in the process._ _

__As their eyes adjusted, cries and shouts of pain and anger erupted from the open yard behind them. A group of guards stood, staring at the commotion, yet remaining stuck in place. Raucous laughter erupted from the four guards as Hanna stepped that way to see what was going on._ _

__“ _Frau_ Anderman!” Weiss said, his tone filled with his authority. He repeated her name several more times, each firmer than the last. She ignored him and continued forward._ _

__“What is going on here?” she asked, although she doubted anyone heard her barely audible voice over the sounds of laughter from those around her._ _

__“Place a bet?” one of the guards asked the others, answering her as to whether they heard her._ _

__“I say two more minutes,” another replied to the first’s question._ _

__“You really think so? Come on,” a third scoffed at the second. “Minute max. He was as dead as could be the second it became known what he was.”_ _

__Hanna ignored them and stepped around the group of guards to get a view of the yard, though she was not sure she wanted to see what was happening. She was right as she caught the entire, disturbing scene cast in front of her._ _


	6. "Duty Calls"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter VI: “Duty calls”_

_June 29, 1934  
Berlin, Germany_

Friedrich Anderman wandered aimless through the Brandenburg Gate, seeing the fear that was written across peoples’ faces as they glanced at him. It was the same look that he, Maximilian, Matilde, and Hanna had carried with them when they had seen the _Sturmabteilung_ on the streets. Now he had taken on the persona of fear.

How many times had he come down to the Brandenburg Gate simply to clear his mind before everything had gone down the way it had? During his time as a police officer, he had often needed to step away from everything, especially when he needed to see something in a different light. The arches and the show of architectural might of the Prussian Empire eased his mind. Now, as it stood, it gave him some form of solace.

“Friedrich?” a familiar voice called to him.

Friedrich turned to look as a man in the gray uniform of the _Wehrmacht_ ran up to him. The recognition of Matilde struck him after a moment of staring at this random stranger. _No_ , he scolded himself, _that’s Matthias Schmidt, not Matilde anymore, not for a year_. Like a brother, Friedrich embraced her; it was what anyone else who saw them would believe it to be.

They broke the hug and he found himself staring at the starburst insignia of a First Lieutenant on Matilde’s epaulette. Friedrich snapped to attention, his arm outstretched in salute. “ _Heil, Oberleutnant_!” Matilde nodded as his arm went back to his side. He offered a friendly smile. “My apologies, Lieutenant, I forgot myself.”

“Forgiven, _Untersturmfuehrer_ Anderman,” Matilde said as she returned Friedrich’s friendly smile. She tucked her uniform cap under her arm, though the _hoheitzeichen_ still stared out at Friedrich. The Reich eagle, the same one that was present above Matilde’s breast and on his uniform, made him uncomfortable.

He shifted nervously as he eyes returned to Matilde’s. “You’ve changed. Basic training was good to you, gave you some muscle, made you more manly.”

“Same for you,” Matilde smirked. “You’re looking a lot more like the propaganda says men should. A little less fat around the midriff.” She chuckled, joined by Friedrich. She had not realized how much she had missed his laugh or any of the others’.

“What are you doing here?” Friedrich asked.

“The General, Captain Bauer, myself, we’re being reassigned to a different post,” Matilde answered. “What are you doing here?” She motioned to his uniform in disbelief. “And what’s this?”

“When I was in basic, a man approached me, asked if I wanted to be part of the SS,” Friedrich answered. Though he hated everything it stood for, there was a sense of pride accompanying his statement. Matilde could hardly blame him, many looked to the _Schulzstaffel_ as a superior force. Friedrich’s lips fell to a frown as he felt ashamed at the pride he felt being part of them. “I,” he stopped. “I thought it best to do so.” He lowered his voice, “It offered a better place to hide in plain sight.”

She noticed the frown that appeared on his face. She understood the expression fully. She wore her own uniform with the same sense of pride, in that she was defending Germany from the onslaught of communism threatening to overwhelm the country. Yet, she, too, was ashamed of what she was seeing all around her, of what she was permitting to occur because of her service.

Matilde eyed the _swastika_ insignia around Friedrich’s bicep. The black uniform only made the red banner pop out more and brought memories of the same banner on people as they assaulted those they deemed unfit for the Reich. She knew there was truth to his statement; the closer one was, the less likely they were going to be looked at. Still, like things she had seen over the course of the last year, it could just as easily backfire.

Unfortunately, she could not run from it.

_To survive evil_ , Matilde thought to herself, as she had throughout the year, _one needs to hide within it._

“How about here, Fritz?” Matilde motioned to the coffee shop on the corner.

Friedrich nodded in agreement before they both started toward the shop. They took a seat in the outdoor section, the sunlight coming up over the Brandenburg Gate in spectacular fashion, lighting Friedrich’s black uniform. It was only a moment before a nervous waitress stepped up to them, asking them for their order. The waitress stared at Matilde for several moments, listening to her, taking notes on what both of them had ordered, before moving off.

Friedrich offered a mischievous smirk in Matilde’s direction. “She seems quite smitten with you.”

“She’d have better luck with you.” Matilde’s eyes sent him a mock glare. “My heart belongs to Hanna, as you well know.” She chuckled before saying, “You haven’t said why you’re here.”

“I don’t even know,” Friedrich admitted. “My orders only arrived a few days ago and they only said to meet up with _Fuehrer_ Hitler in Munich tomorrow morning.”

Worry gripped at Matilde. It wrapped its fingers tightly around her heart and squeezed. She could feel her pulse quicken. The idea that Friedrich would have to deal with Adolf Hitler. She did not have to be worried, she knew that Friedrich had more than enough self control to prevent any mishaps from happening.

Then the worry shifted. Rather than on Friedrich being exposed, it flipped to the fact that it was Munich. The question of ‘what was happening in Munich’ ripped through her thoughts and the worry seemed to clench further on her heart. Her mother and her sisters still lived in Munich! What if the plan was something that would destroy? Could a purge of the undesirables be there? Everyone knew that it was likely, had not _der Fuehrer_ been adamant about that?

“Don’t be worried, I’m sure you know as well as I do,” Friedrich offered a reassuring smile. “I can control myself.”

“It’s not just you,” Matilde replied. She casually glanced around the coffee shop, then lowered her voice. “My mother, my sisters, they still live in Munich. What’s happening there? Is something- I mean, what if something happens?”

“I don’t think anything’s going to happen, Matti,” Friedrich stated. He smiled as he tried his best to assure her. “Why would he turn against those he sees as true Germans?”

“Like Mother,” Matilde said absently. Though she did not say it, she admitted that Friedrich was right. Her family fit into the Aryan ideal. They would not be harmed, as long as they stayed out of the way of Hitler’s goons. Despite that, concern still tugged at her. “You’re sure of that, though?”

“It would be a disaster if something did happen,” Friedrich said. “He would have an uprising against him, a fall from grace would follow shortly thereafter. Say what you will about him, but Hitler’s shown cunning in his movements and his consolidation of power. I doubt, very much, that he would pull something that stupid out of his hat and put it into effect.”

“Point conceded,” Matilde admitted. She smiled at him again. “Thank you, Fritz.” She turned her head to look at a figure seen in her peripheral.

“Sirs,” the waitress said, placing their drinks in front of them. She stared down at Matilde for another moment before stepping away again.

“Have you seen Max or Hanna lately?” Matilde asked. She sipped her coffee, savouring the taste for a moment.

“Not since we all left for different places last year,” Friedrich answered.

He had not thought about it since that day, but, as soon as he had spoken the words, worry gripped at him, too. He doubted that anything had happened to either Maximilian or Hanna, but the concern was still there, still crushing against his chest. He steeled himself as the nails of worry tapped his chest. “Hanna was still assigned to Dachau last I heard. Maximilian was still at Panzer training.”

Questions floated through his thoughts. Subconsciously, he shifted in his seat as he bit down on his bottom lip, doubt and pain cutting paths through his body. The possibility that Maximilian had been killed in a training exercise was ever present and his fingers drummed along the table for a moment before he forced himself to stop.

“Have you?” he asked as the cup in his hand went to his lips.

“I saw Max back in January, during training,” Matilde said with a friendly smile. Friedrich returned it. We didn’t get much chance to talk, though. He seemed to be healthy at that time, at least.” Her features dropped in sadness. “I wish there was a point I could pay a visit to Dachau, see how Hanna’s doing. I miss her.”

“We miss them both,” Friedrich stated, his eyes following Matilde’s in sadness.

They had barely managed to contact either of the others in the year that had passed. Indeed, the chance meeting with Matilde had been the first time he had seen any of the others, including his lover. They had not wanted to try writing each other, knowing that any suspicions would be enough to sentence them to death or a fate worse than death. Any letters they did write were bare necessities and pretenses to keep up their charades.

Even then, the last letter he had written to Hanna had been months ago. It had been simple, a message of his love to her, comments on how his health was, and a few sentences of what had been happening to him. Hanna had replied with much of the same; her love to him, meant for Matilde, a few vague sentences of what life at Dachau was like, and a final comment on her overall health.

A moment of relief swept over him. At least he knew that Maximilian had been in good health six months ago.

“Maybe we’ll get to see them in a few months,” Friedrich said. He offered a reassuring smile, as though he did not have worry for Maximilian hidden beneath it.

“Maybe,” Matilde replied. She returned the smile, hoping her own worry did not show. She sipped the coffee in her cup. Familiar footsteps stepped up behind her and she sighed, knowing who it was before she had even placed the cup back on the table. “Captain Bauer.”

“ _Oberleutnant, Untersturmfuehrer_ ,” Captain Bauer stated. “Matthias, General Kleinmetz requests your presence.”

“Duty calls, Fritz,” Matilde offered an apologetic smile.

“I’ve got the bill,” Friedrich said. “Captain Bauer, nice to see you again.”

“Ah, yes, you were one of the group that came in with _Oberleutnant_ Schmidt,” Bauer said after a second. “Congratulations on continuing to serve the _Fuehrer_ and a greater Germany.”

“ _Seig heil_.”

“ _Seig heil_ ,” Bauer replied before stepping away, Matilde in tow.

 

June 30, 1934

Bad Wiessee, Germany

 

The first vestiges of light were only just creeping over the horizon as the vehicles pulled up to massive house. Hungrily, darkness still clung to the sky, stars still shining, its fingers still attempting to cling onto the earth and shroud it in black. The cars came to a soft stop, almost unnoticeable, before Friedrich swept the door open and stepped out, followed by the others.

He stepped up to the car carrying Adolf Hitler. He opened the door and gave the salute before Hitler stepped forth. He could feel his heart race and his hand quivered slightly. Being in the presence of such a powerful man, regardless of how he personally felt about the bastard, was enough to make him nervous. Indeed, he was temporarily paralyzed, even as Hitler gave him a nod before he moved towards the house. The small gesture of acknowledgement sent a shiver down Friedrich’s spine. As one of the other enlisted opened the door to the building, Friedrich motioned for his men to form a line and follow _der Fuehrer_. In silence, they entered behind Hitler.

Friedrich followed the man in front of him through the darkened house. It was like Hitler had been there before, which, Friedrich admitted, was not unlikely, considering that Ernst Roehm, in whispers, had long been Hitler’s good friend. Like ghosts, they moved through the house.

Hitler swept a door open. There was a muffled gasp of shock from within before Friedrich heard Hitler say, “You’re under arrest, Ernst. Get up and get dressed.” Hitler turned to Friedrich. “Keep Roehm alive. Kill the other.” He looked between both Friedrich and the other officer, “Once that’s done, gather up the rest of the leaders. I’ll be waiting downstairs.”

“Yes, _mein Fuehrer_!” Friedrich said. He motioned to his men to ensure Hitler’s orders were carried out to the letter.

“I’ll check the rest,” one of the enlisted stated, drawing Friedrich’s attention.

Friedrich nodded before he turned back to stare at Roehm. The leader of the _Sturmabteilungsmann_ , the same man with whom all the SA recieved their orders from and followed, lay in bed with another man. The same man who had ultimately made Friedrich’s life with Maximilian and Hanna’s life with Matilde hell, who had targeted their friends and beat them, sometimes to death, was nothing more than a hypocrite! His pistol wavered in his hand as the anger climbed within him. He wanted nothing more than to shoot the bastard himself!

Orders were orders, though, and he could hardly have disobeyed a direct order from _Fuehrer_ Hitler and brought suspicion on himself.

The brown uniform of the _Sturmabteilung_ flew past Friedrich’s head, thrown by one of the men behind him. The uniform slapped Roehm in the face as Friedrich glared, murderous hatred in his eyes. “Get dressed, _der Fuehrer_ wishes to speak to you!” Friedrich turned to his second in command. “Gerhard, ensure that _Stabschef_ Roehm is ready to be presented to the _Fuehrer_ in five minutes.”

“Sir!” _Sturmscharfuehrer_ Gerhard Rheinhardt stated.

Friedrich stepped down the hallway, seeing a few of his troopers standing at a doorway. “What’s going on here?”

“Deputy Heines has refused to get dressed, sir,” one of them replied.

Friedrich moved them aside. Two men lay in the bed, completely naked. One could not have been much older than eighteen, nineteen at the most, the other not much older than twenty-five. Friedrich felt his hand shake ever so subtle, the anger welling up within him, the fact that he had had to hide himself from people just like him. The hypocrisy was astounding.

Friedrich turned, moving down the stairs. He stepped over to _Fuehrer_ Hitler, who was staring out the window into the scenery. “ _Mein Fuehrer._ ”

“Yes?”

“Deputy Heines refuses to get dressed, _mein Fuehrer_.”

“He refuses a direct order from me?” Hitler asked rhetorically. “Roehm’s influence, his disobedience, has spread much farther than I had initially believed.” He glanced over at Friedrich. “Inform Deputy Heines that he has five minutes to get out of bed, get dressed, and, as with the rest of them, to get down here and address me personally.” His eyes returned to staring out at the beauty of nature. “If he doesn’t, make sure he’s an example of what happens.”

Friedrich’s boots clapped together as he came to attention, arm outstretched. “Yes, _mein Fuehrer._ ” He pivoted and retraced his steps. Friedrich opened the door. “You have five minutes to get dressed and present to _Fuehrer_ Hitler downstairs. Failure to comply will be met with consequences.”

Heines said something belligerent, though Friedrich paid no attention to it. He looked over at his two soldiers. “In five minutes, come and get me.”

“Yes, sir,” they said in unison.

Friedrich stepped down the hall back to Roehm’s room. “Gerhard, any change?”

“See for yourself, Friedrich,” Gerhard replied.

Friedrich glanced in, finding Roehm fully clothed in his brown uniform. Though his posture was one of defiance, standing there, glaring at Friedrich, his chest puffed out in a show of futile force, there was a sense of resignation. Roehm knew he had been outsmarted and was willing to surrender without violence.

_For the moment,_ Friedrich thought to himself. “Gerhard, take _Stabschef_ Roehm down to _Fuehrer_ Hitler.”

“Yes, sir,” Gerhard stated with a nod. He roughly grabbed Roehm’s arm and pulled him from the room, forcing him towards the stairs. Roehm made several muttered threats towards Gerhard.

“ _Sturmmann,_ ” Friedrich said, looking at one of his other soldiers and motioning towards Roehm’s lover. “Take him out back and keep him there.”

“Yes, sir!” the man stated.

Friedrich turned back to the room with Heines in it. He made those steps in what seemed like milliseconds. “Any luck, _Rottenfuehrer_ Heinz?”

Heinz shook his head. “The Deputy continues to be belligerent and holds his authority over us to mean he doesn’t have to listen to us, nor to an ‘insignificant corporal’.”

“He’s got one minute before we drag his ass outside,” Friedrich said, coldly.

He was shocked at his tone, though his features remained stoic. The idea that the anger he felt at the _Sturmabteilung_ ’s hypocrisy could twist his very being enough to cause him to become cold to the prospects of what was about to happen, that was something he had long thought impossible. Even while he had been with the Berlin police, he had not felt his character be as twisted and hateful as he did now, as he felt when staring into the eyes of those SA men.

“Yes, sir,” Heinz replied.

“The rest of the rooms are cleared out, _Untersturmfuehrer_ ,” one of his men stated, stepped up to him. “And _Obersturmfuehrer_ Kreuz has stated that he has rounded up the,” the man’s face contorted in disgust, “ _homosexuellen_ with them. Kreuz is waiting outside for you, sir.”

“Understood,” Friedrich said, motioning for the man to depart. The man did so without waiting, stepping down the stairs. Friedrich checked his watch before looking over at Heinz. “It’s time.”

Friedrich opened the door to the room, finding Deputy Heines glaring at him, defiantly standing naked in the middle of the room. The eighteen year old man with him cowered in the corner, meekly staring at Friedrich and the black uniform he wore. Heines spit at Friedrich, going into a rant about how he, Heines, would not follow the orders of a lowly corporal when he, Heines, outranked him during the Great War and after.

Friedrich struck Heines across the face without hesitation. The blow knocked him down to the ground before Friedrich’s two other soldiers charged through the door and continued to beat on the Deputy. They assaulted him for a few minutes before they dragged him from the room. Blood dribbled onto the floor.

Friedrich looked over at the eighteen year old, motioning with his pistol to the door. “I doubt you want that to happen to you, so I suggest we do this in a civil manner.”

The man gingerly rose from where he had been and moved out the door. Friedrich directed him towards the back. They could both hear the berating that Hitler was giving to those members of the SA who had been willing to step downstairs and line up for him. Friedrich smirked. It was about time someone had done something about those running around, beating and killing anything that looked at them wrong.

The man tried to make a move towards the front door. Friedrich made sure he did not get far, the barrel of his pistol pressing against the back of the man’s head. He got the message and returned to heading towards the rest of his compatriots.

As soon as Friedrich stepped out back, the soldiers of the _Schultzstaffel_ turned, saluting him. He motioned for them to stop. Heinz and Gerhard stepped over to him, taking Heines’ lover from him before he moved over to Kreuz.

“Sir,” Friedrich said, stepping up to Kreuz. “Orders?”

“Execution, as per the Fuehrer’s orders, _Untersturmfuehrer,_ ” Kreuz stated.

“Sir?”

“Are you deaf, Friedrich?” Kreuz asked. Friedrich shook his head. “Good, then you understand the orders you were given.” Kreuz stepped down the line of men, then retraced his steps. “These,” disgust contorted Kreuz’ features, “things are the very example of moral turpitude, the very example of what lost us the Great War. These are weak elements, which only threaten to destroy a strong, independent, and mighty Thousand Year Reich. I refuse to let that happen. Do you?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Good,” Kreuz stated. “You know what to do.”

“Yes, sir!” Friedrich said.

He felt sick to his stomach, the anger having disappeared. The Luger in his hand seemed to weigh twenty times what it normally had. Friedrich looked over at the end of the line of men, watching as Deputy Heines defiantly rose from where they had thrown him.

“ _Die Fahne hoch_!” Heines started to sing Horst Wessel Lied, his arm outstretched in salute. “ _Die Reihen fest geschlossen! SA marschiert mit ruhig festem Schritt_!” Friedrich raised his pistol, the barrel staring Heines directly in his right eye. The SA Deputy never stopped, glaring at Friedrich, as though hoping to burn a hole in his soul. “ _Kam’raden, die Rotfront und Reak_ -”

Brains exploded from the back of Heines’ head. The singing instantly stopped as Heines’ legs crumpled beneath him, his body folding up in a mass of flesh. The thunder of the bullet being fired finally reached Friedrich’s ears and he stared at the body in shock.

Guilt and regret tugged at him. Had he pulled the trigger? How could he have? He had signed on to hide from the prying eyes of the SA and now he had become exactly what he had been hiding from?

What good could come from this? What benefit to the safety and security of Germany could these peoples’ deaths be? How easily could it have been his brains splattered across the ground.

“Christ on the Cross, Friedrich!” Gerhard said. His cruel smile showed a distinct, disturbed pleasure, that he wanted to kill these people without some form of remorse. “That was fantastic! Did you see the way he just crumpled like a sack of shit? And his brains, they just,” Gerhard made several motions of things spraying out the back of his head. “That was great.”

“Yes, yes, it was,” Friedrich agreed, though his voice sounded distant, as though spoken through water. He could not stop what had already begun. He was a little more than in love with living and, if he tried to stop it, he knew he would end up like Deputy Heines. He glanced over at Gerhard. “Here,” he handed the man the Luger, “have a shot.”

“No, please, no,” the man who had been the late Heines’ lover pleaded, staring at the Luger in Gerhard’s hands. “Please, I’ll do anything, please. God help me!” Tears streamed down the man’s cheeks and Friedrich wished there was something he could do. “Please, don’t kill me!”

“Now I see, Friedrich,” Gerhard stated, standing in front of the man, holding the pistol towards him. “They are nothing more than a weak element. They crumple under the concept of war, they break and blubber, try to plead and bargain for their lives. No true German would do that, true Aryans would rather die than be seen like this, they would keep their honour clean and accept whatever Death had coming for them!”

Friedrich looked over. For a moment, he could see Maximilian in Heines’ lover’s features. He could see Maximilian staring, pleading, praying for him to step in and save him. How many nightmares had he experienced with this same scenario? How many times had he thought he would return to their apartment and there would be a sudden reveal that Maximilian had been caught or killed? Now, Friedrich felt that same sickening feeling climb up his throat, gripping it, trying to suffocate him under its weight. In mere seconds, it was over as Gerhard pulled the trigger.

Though he knew it was not, in his eyes, Friedrich watched as Maximilian’s head exploded in an eruption of blood and bone, brains and flesh. They showered the ground behind him, turning the brown soil and green grass ruddy with red. His head snapped backwards, his body going instantly rigid, than falling into a fleshy pile. Maximilian fell to his side, the last expression on his face appearing as shock and sorrow.

Gerhard handed the Luger back to Friedrich. “Better get on with it, Friedrich.”

Friedrich looked down the line. There were still five others that he had been ordered to slaughter like cattle. Despite the fact that he hated himself for it, he stepped down the line, staring into the face of the next man. The man glared back, defiance in his eyes.

“I’ll see you in Hell!” he said.

“Good last words,” Friedrich said. He pulled the trigger and the man’s head snapped backwards and he collapsed.

Friedrich’s eyes dropped as he pulled the trigger, the pistol firing into the heads of each man, executing them without an external doubt on his features. Each body simply fell into a heap on the ground, seven bodies lying in individual piles in the dirt.

He glanced down at each of them as he passed to return to the building. He felt disgusted with himself at the fact that he had just killed those who were like him. He had become not unlike the SA for which he, Maximilian, Hanna, and Matilde had feared. He hated himself for it; he smiled at Gerhard to hide the hatred he held within himself and Gerhard cruelly smiled back at him.


	7. "The Right Thing"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter VII: The Right Thing_

_April 20, 1935  
Munich, Germany ___

__“You seem distracted, Friedrich,” Hanna said, sipping her coffee._ _

__The sun shone down on them, warming her blonde hair. Her uniform cap sat on the table. The _totenkopf_ stared at Friedrich and, though he wore one himself, the skull made him uncomfortable. Her black uniform mirrored his own, the blood red _swastika_ armband wrapped around her left arm being the only thing shattering the mirror image._ _

__The sun illuminated her soft, creamy skin. Even wrapped in the symbolism of hate, she was quite stunning and Friedrich knew Matilde would be jealous of his view. To his knowledge, the women had yet to reunite in the year since he had spoken to her._ _

__A year? Had it truly been that short a time? It felt like decades had passed since he saw her at the Brandenburg Gate._ _

__Friedrich’s lip twitched absently. Hanna knew what that meant; something had affected him in a severe way. The usual bright and cheery nature of his sky blues had been replaced. A sadness, dark and tumultuous, had taken root within them, had flooded and corrupted them. His eyes showed a raging storm of turmoil within them._ _

__“It’s nothing, Hanna,” Friedrich stated, though he knew that the words sounded hollow._ _

__“How long have we been married, Friedrich?” Hanna shifted in her seat, leaning back and crossing her arms across her breasts. Her eyes drilled into his, causing him to glance away._ _

__“Six years, seven next month.”_ _

__“Long enough, Fritz,” Hanna countered. “I can tell when something’s affecting you.”_ _

__She reached across the table, gently brushing her hand against his cheek. He was a means to an end as her husband, Hanna knew, but that was irrelevant. He was still, along with Maximilian, the closest friend she had. She could hardly let him suffer alone through something causing him pain._ _

__Gently, he took her hand away from his cheek and clasped it in both of his.._ _

__He looked into Hanna’s blue eyes. “I killed people.”_ _

__“We knew it was a possibility.” The chilly tone of her voice was matched only by the coldness as she went to take another sip from her coffee cup. The degree of her reaction surprised and worried Friedrich, though he said nothing._ _

__“They were unarmed, posed no threat,” Friedrich stated. Though no tears rushed down his cheeks, his voice cracked with sadness. “Some of them were naked, for God’s sake.” Friedrich’s head fell to the side, his eyes staring at the _swastika_ armband wrapped around his bicep. The putrid taste of vomit flowed up his throat. “I just... I mean...” his words caught in his throat._ _

__“Friedrich?”_ _

__Silence filled the space between them. The air around them became heavy and asphyxiating. It felt like an invisible hand had reached out and wrapped itself around Hanna’s throat. It lasted what felt like years, but she knew that it had only been a few minutes._ _

__“Friedrich?” Hanna asked again._ _

__Friedrich’s head snapped back to Hanna, fast enough that Hanna was worried he had injured himself. A storm of regret, pain, and remorse raged within his blue eyes and it scared Hanna. In all the years they had known each other, she had never seen such a reaction from him._ _

__“He... Their brains... They just...” Friedrich trailed._ _

__His shoulders fell, as though collapsing under the weight of guilt. How had he been able to carry on for the last ten months? How could he have acted like nothing had happened? Most importantly, how could he have murdered people in cold blood?_ _

___I was a police officer, God damn it_! _There are rules_!_ _

__He could not. It was that simple._ _

__He still had nightmares, still saw Maximilian’s face in the features of that nameless eighteen year old. It did not matter that he did not have to do it to the love of his life. He woke each night covered in cold sweat._ _

__He felt his head drop and his eyes stared down at the table in shame._ _

__“I... I put my pistol into a man’s eye and pulled the trigger,” Friedrich finally pushed the words through, his voice barely above a whisper. “I... He just collapsed. All he was, just gone. Then I did it for five more.”_ _

__“Was it the right thing?” Hanna asked._ _

__“They were unarmed and two were naked.”_ _

__“But was it the right thing? Did they threaten the stability of the Reich? Were they traitors?”_ _

__“According to the _Fuehrer_ , yes.”_ _

__“Then it was right,” Hanna calmly stated as she sipped her coffee. The answer was enough to scare Friedrich in its unquestionable loyalty. “After all, not following his orders would put a target on your back and all of ours.”_ _

__"I know!" Friedrich growled the words. His hand slammed down on the table, rattling it, shaking his cup. Coffee jumped over the side of the cup, splashing on the table and his hand. He did not feel the burn of the black liquid._ _

__A few of the patrons looked over his way, quickly changing their glances to a different place as they saw the two black uniforms at the table and the red armbands. For the first time since donning the uniform, Friedrich was glad it held the terror it did within. No one bothered to tell him to keep it down._ _

__He glanced up, but the only person there was the kind, beautiful, and caring girlfriend to Matilde. The same woman who had, with him and their respective other halves, said ‘I do’ at the altar. Yet, something about her was off._ _

__“I know, Hanna,” Friedrich repeated, less loudly than before, his voice barely audible. “And keeping us all safe was why we joined in the first place.” Friedrich sighed._ _

__Friedrich doubted she would understand. Hanna served as a nurse in the camps, not being dragged to the middle of nowhere and ordered to blow some poor people into the next life. How could she understand what plagued him each night? How could she understand seeing what he had? She would, God willing, never have to suffer through the horror and guilt, regret and pain, like he did._ _

__“It’s why we all agreed, Friedrich, it’s what we all went down to the recruiting office knowing,” Hanna said. She calmly sipped back the coffee in her cup. His eyes widened in surprise at the cold words. “Besides, it’s better them than us, no?”_ _

__Friedrich admitted that much was true, even as the image of Maximilian being killed entered his thoughts again. It was better that it was Heines than Max, better any of those at Bad Wiessee than himself. It was better for the four of them all that none of them ended up dead with that disobedient rabble._ _

__“Have you heard from Matti?” Hanna asked, changing the subject nonchalantly. “Last I heard from _Oberleutnant_ Matthias Schmidt, he,” Hanna felt strange referring to Matilde in the masculine, “was on some secret mission in far off Spain, saving them from the depravity of the communists.”_ _

__“That’s the last I heard about Matti, too,” Friedrich said. “Matti had been joined by tanks from Maximilian’s unit and both were well. They were, still are training Spanish Nationalists in anticipation for the war against the communists. All in secret, of course. Other than that, no, nothing,” Friedrich’s eyes locked with Hanna’s. “What about you? What are you doing here in Munich?”_ _

__“I was given leave for a week.” She paused. Her eyes glistened, her voice thick with sadness. “Father’s not doing too well.” A tear rolled down her cheeks. “His health is failing, fast, the doctor’s don’t think he’ll last the next few days.”_ _

__“What’s wrong?”_ _

__“Heart failure. They think it’s a result of the stress he experienced on the front during the Great War. All they can do is make him comfortable,” another tear slid over her cheek._ _

__“I’m sorry, Hanna,” Friedrich said sincerely. He had met Captain Bacher a few times when he and Hanna had been pretending to date. The Captain had appeared to be a highly intelligent and pleasant man to deal with._ _

__“Would you like to have me-”_ _

__“As far as my parents know, you are serving overseas at the moment,” Hanna cut him off. She did not want to tell him the reason why she had led her mother to believe that. How could she tell him that she hated pretending in front of her parents, that she hated continually lying to them, even if it was for her survival?_ _

__“Okay,” Friedrich stated. “One quick question I have to ask, though, what if someone recognizes us together and realizes you have lied to them?”_ _

__“Anyone sees us, hopefully knows how to stay quiet, especially seeing these uniforms,” Hanna replied._ _

__The statement was not one he expected, certainly not from Hanna. The cruel implications of the words were enough to send shivers down his spine and, not for the first time, make him worry for Hanna. The quiet, shy woman whom he had first met eight years ago was turning into someone who disturbed him._ _

__“I should go, Friedrich,” Hanna said, taking the steeped cap from the table. The sunlight reflected off the skull on her cap, shining directly into Friedrich’s eyes. It blinded him for a second before it disappeared and his eyes readapted to the world. Hanna held out her arm, “ _Heil_!”_ _

__“ _Heil_ ,” Friedrich said, less enthusiastically._ _

__She pivoted and began walking away from the table as the waitress stepped up to it, placing the bill in front of Friedrich. He looked down, sighing in disbelief at what had just happened before rising from his chair and making his way to the cash register. This was not the Hanna that Friedrich knew. She was different and this new side to her was discomforting._ _

__

__“Hanna, father’s been asking for you,” Hanna’s sister asked as soon as Hanna stepped through the door into her childhood home. “Where were you?”_ _

__“I needed some air, Ilsa,” Hanna replied. It was partially true._ _

__“So do the rest of us, Hanna,” Ilsabetta said, anger forming in her words. “We don’t just up and leave, though.”_ _

__“I have my duties to perform, Ilsa, I can’t just deny them either,” Hanna replied. There was some bits of a lie mixed in with the truth. She had been given leave, but she still had her duties to perform on this day. “I need to make sure that people know the might of the Reich.”_ _

__“Bullshit!” Ilsabetta growled. “Only men are allowed to serve within the _Schulzstaffel,_ no women!”_ _

__“I’m a _Helferin_ , a nurse, Ilsa,” Hanna shot back. “And maybe it’s the fact that my husband is off serving in Spain, with the very real possibility that he’s going to be killed in action.”_ _

__“Bullshit!” Ilsabetta glared at Hanna. “You think I don’t know?”_ _

__“Know what?” Hanna asked._ _

__“I’ve know you were _homosexuelle_ since you were thirteen!” Ilsabetta shot back. “You’ve been fucking women all along, your marriage is nothing more than a sham! You’re nothing more than one of the _untermenschen_ that your grand _Fuehrer_ hates so much!”_ _

__Hanna’s open palm whipped across Ilsabetta’s face. The loud, resounding _smack_ echoed through the empty hall, only slightly quieter than Ilsabetta’s shocked cry of pain. Her soft, dainty hand shot to her cheek as she stumbled and she rubbed it as though that would ease the burning, angry sting._ _

__Hanna glared daggers at her sister, her voice an icy whisper, "Don't _ever_ call me that again!" She stormed down the hall towards her father’s room. Each step she took thundered off the walls behind her. She opened the door. “Father?”_ _

__“Hanna,” the raspy voice of her father replied. The white haired visage of the man in front of her continued to be a vast contrast from the man she had grown up around, the strong and independant man who had fought Russians on the Eastern Front during the Great War. She felt sadness climb within her each time she saw him now. “You know it pains me to see you wearing that rabble, that suit of fear. Yet, you bring it in here without a second thought.”_ _

__“It’s Hitler’s birthday, Father, it is required for all service personnel to be present in their uniforms, Hanna said. She sat in the chair next to her father’s side._ _

__“I _fought_ for Germany, Hanna. I have put my life on the line for this country. My blood _is_ and _always has been_ German. Then you come in wearing the uniform of hate, fear, and dishonour.”_ _

__Hanna could sense his disappointment, but that did not matter much. Whether he approved or not, she had made her decision; beside, what could her father have known about what she was dealing with?_ _

__“This is Germany, Father, this is the uniform of the defenders of Germany,” Hanna countered. “This is the best choice for those true Germans!”_ _

__“Like the Austrian you follow? That little Corporal who is neither the true German he preaches, nor the Aryan ideal he plays to the crowd!”_ _

__“He has made us strong again, Father, like we were before the Great War. He has weeded out the elements that caused our loss in the war, like the corrupt politicians and the Jewish bankers. All of those who stabbed Germany in the back!”_ _

__“A myth, Hanna! You are smarter than this! We weren’t stabbed in the back! We were surrounded by the Allies. We marched into war without thinking, it was our patriotic duty to follow the orders of the Kaiser and, like the good German soldiers we all were, we did. We were outnumbered by the Russians and the French at the beginning. Nothing would have changed that. Least of all this Austrian Corporal!” Alfred growled. “I’m making this clear, Hanna, beyond measure, drop this! It will only lead Germany to ruin!”_ _

__Alfred Bacher coughed violently before convulsing and spewing foam from his mouth. Hanna stood, staring at the scene for a moment before calmly stepping to the door. She opened it before yelling at the doctor to come quickly. It was only seconds before the man rushed through, nearly knocking Hanna off her feet._ _

__The man tried to keep Alfred pinned against the bed, to little success. The only time he did was after a few minutes when Alfred stopped moving completely. A death rattle came from Alfred’s lips. Hanna stared down at her father’s body, a flicker of movement in the corner of her mouth starting to form a cruel smile._ _

__“He’s dead, _Frauen_ Bacher,” the doctor stated after checking vitals. “I’m sorry.”_ _

__Hanna felt her mother’s arms wrap around her, her body wracked with sobs. Hanna turned around and embraced her mother. Her hands gently rubbed her back. The flicker of a smile grew in a full smirk._ _


	8. Loves and Promotions

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter VIII: Loves and Promotions_

_August 20, 1935  
Secret Nationalist Camp, Spain_

Matilde ran her finger along the photograph, tracing the image of Hanna. She closed her eyes and imagined each line of Hanna’s face, each gentle, soft contour was beautiful like an artist’s brush stroke. Her blue eyes, shy but welcoming, stared at Matilde, blonde hair draped down to her shoulders. Matilde’s heart raced as her beloved’s face appeared to her amidst the blackness of closed eyes. Her breath felt like someone had simply swiped it from her lungs.

“You ever wonder what Fritz and Hanna are up to, Max?” Matilde asked as familiar footsteps moved towards her. She re-opened her eyes. Despite the few years she had been wearing the bindings, her breasts still ached beneath them. She shifted slightly and the bindings chafed her side.

She resisted the urge to shift it. Even after two years, they still bothered her; she still had not become accustomed to it by any stretch. She just wanted to rip them off, expose her breasts, though she knew that would be the end of her career. If nothing worse happened to her. Her skin itched and the bindings rubbed against it, but it was a better situation than the alternative.

“No,” Maximilian said as he sat next to her. The last vestiges of daylight were leaving, shrouding the world in darkness for another day.

“No?”

“I try not to,” Maximilian admitted. He knew the one word answer probably gave Matilde the wrong idea. He sighed briefly. “It makes it easier when I don’t think of them, when I don’t have to wonder about what is happening to them. You know me, my imagination has the tendency to conjure up the worst scenario and that’s never good.”

Matilde glanced down at the photograph in her hands. She could remember the day like it was yesterday. The four of them, happy to be together, faking joy at joining the _Reichswehr_ , pretending to be thrilled about the future that lay ahead of them. It did not matter that, in some way, the smiles were completely forced and fake, the smile on Hanna’s face was the best part of the photo. The smile was the one thing that kept Matilde going.

“I wonder about them a lot,” Matilde admitted. “Fritz said he’d been ordered to Munich when I saw him last. Since then, I haven’t heard anything. I’m worried, about him, about Munich in general, my mother, my sisters...” She trailed. Several sounds came from around them; a multitude of _yips_ that sounded like a strangled dog of the red fox in the distance, a Banshee like scream of the barn owl, muffled chirps in various directions. The forest was coming to life..

“I worry about Hanna, too,” Maximilian stated. “And Fritz.” He pulled his own photograph from his pockets and unfolded it. He wished he could be where Friedrich was. Being away from Friedrich as long as he had felt like someone had ripped a piece of him out.

“Talking about old loves?” a Spanish accent asked, moving around the tree.

“Rafael,” Matilde said, offering a smile. He was one of the tank troops Maximilian was training. “Yes and no. I was discussing the love of my life and Max was talking about his brother.”

“Is she beautiful?” Rafael asked.

“I would say so,” Matilde answered. “Kind, caring, loving. She’s beautiful in more ways than one. She’s helping political dissidents as a nurse in one of the holding camps.”

“Is that a picture of her?” Rafael asked.

“Yes,” Matilde admitted. She folded it back so that it was only Hanna being shown before handing it over to Rafael.

“You’re right, she is beautiful,” Rafael said after a moment of looking at her. “You are a lucky man, _Teniente_ ,” Rafael used the Spanish for her rank, though Matilde did not care. He handed her the photograph back. “She’s like my Isabella. Missing her all the time I’m out here.”

“I think we all have that,” Maximilian said. “I miss my Matilde, haven’t seen her in a few years, since we joined up. I’ve been pretty lonely out here, but I’ve no picture of her.”

“What’s that?” Rafael asked, motioning to the photograph in Maximilian’s hand.

“The same photo as Matthias’,” Maximilian answered. “My brother’s in it, the only one I have of him right now.”

“We’re all doing this for the betterment of mankind, right?” Rafael asked, though he made it clear it was less a question and more a comment. “This government is falling apart, clambering to the side of the Communists, allowing more and more evil into their ranks. They’re forcing us to bow down to them, to be nothing more than the very evil you and all of Germany yelled into the night, ‘No, no farther, you stop here!’”

“Communism is completely evil, the prime example of a degenerate race,” Maximilian stated. 

Although he had stated many times his views on communism, the idea of degenerates being the ones doing it was something strange and formerly unsaid. Matilde glanced at him inquisitively. She wondered if he was simply playing it up or if he actually believed his comments.

“We should rid the world of those communists as fast as we can find them,” Rafael stated. “Wasn’t there a communist involved in the burning of your government?”

“Five Dutch communists were arrested and one was formally charged with the the burning of the Reichstag,” Matilde stated.

“They executed that filth through a beheading in Saxony last year,” Maximilian said, coldly. He glanced at Matilde. “And it was only one Dutch communist, the rest were Bulgarians.” He spat on the ground, “Worse than communists.”

“No argument here,” Rafael stated.

“ _Teniente_ Gonzalez!” a voice yelled in Spanish. Rafael turned to look. “Get over here!”

“My apologies, gentlemen, duty calls,” Rafael said, rising from where he had taken a seat and moving away.

“Did you mean what you said, Max?” Matilde asked as Rafael stepped away.

“About communism being the product of a degenerate society?” Maximilian asked.

“I know your stance. You’ve made no attempts to hide that you think communism is the worst thing to happen to this world,” Matilde said.

“You don’t?”

“I don’t think we can judge the ‘worst thing’, Max,” Matilde countered. “We could see worst things in coming months or years, Max.”

“Matti, you know how much I love your educating nature,” Maximilian stated, “but you know as well as I do that nothing that happens could be worse than what has happened in Russia. How many deaths and murder, slaughters of untold millions that have happened since 1917? They’ve been slaughtering their own people for no other reason than power.”

“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing, Max? Isn’t that what _der Fuehrer_ has requested for us?” Matilde asked rhetorically. “We’re no better than they are, than anyone is. Death and power run hand in hand.”

Behind them, a throat cleared and both Maximilian and Matilde stiffened in surprise. Matilde’s fingers tugged nervously on her uniform pants; she did not know who it was or what they had heard. General Kleinmetz had repeatedly stated that there had been no _Gestapo_ within this assignment, but that hardly made her feel safer.

She scolded herself for her stupidity.

“That is quite true, _Leutnant_ Schmidt,” Captain Bauer’s voice sounded from behind them and she relaxed slightly. He crunched a branch as he stepped into the clearing from the trees. “There’s a difference, though.”

“Sir, I did not mean to imply that I wouldn’t fight,” Matilde stated.

“There’s no question of your ability and will to fight. However, if you expect to be promoted beyond the rank of Captain, you need to keep those sentiments to yourself. You never know who is listening,” Captain Bauer stated.

“Captain?” Matilde asked.

“Don’t question, don’t think, don’t do anything that makes _them_ doubt anything,” Bauer stated.  
Both she and Maximilian knew who he was referring to. Hitler’s boogeymen; the _Gestapo_.

“If that’s true, Captain, why are you not higher?” Matilde asked.

“Because I made a conscience decision _not_ to blindly follow the orders of the SA several years ago,” Bauer replied. He sighed as he sat beside Matilde. “Captain Roehm visited me, to offer a chance to join the SA and become a member of the _Sturmabteilung_. I refused. I served Imperial Germany, I served the Kaiser, not someone with such great charisma he could make people forget their oaths. I owed much to the people of Germany and more to the Kaiser.”

“And because you refused _der Fuehrer’_ s friend, at least he was until that attempted coup a year ago, you were blacklisted,” Maximilian finished.

“Not just blacklisted,” Christoph Bauer stated, “I was forcibly demoted. When Hitler gained his power and began consolidating his gains, I was told I was no longer needed as a Colonel within the _Heer._ Mysteriously, there were no other positions available for me, either.”

“He would have been cashiered if not for me,” General Kleinmetz’ voice said from behind them. “I took him in as a staff officer, rank of Captain.” Kleinmetz sat beside Bauer. “I admired his loyalty to his principles, his service record spoke for itself, and his service demanded more than being summarily thrown from our defense force.”

“I was replaced by a more Hitler-centric Colonel, willing to acquiesce to any request,” Christoph commented. “Three years of fighting the Russians, then one of fighting the Canadians, all surrendered to some little kid still sucking his mother’s tit when I was out there.” He glanced at Matilde, “No offense intended.”

“None taken, Captain,” Matilde replied.

“Don’t be so modest, Captain. Two Iron Crosses, wounded three times, twice against the Canadians in the final days of the Great War, and suffering nigh fatal wounds to your face,” Kleinmetz stated. 

As Kleinmetz commented on Bauer’s scar, a flicker of sunlight lit it up, making it seem worse than it actually was. Thanks to the light, Matilde could almost imagine when it had first happened and the bullet had carved through his cheek. She could imagine this twenty year old man as he writhed in agony amidst the mud and Hell of the battlefield.

Kleinmetz continued, “You deserved better than to be forced from the Reichswehr simply because you didn’t want to join a bunch of thugs.”

“Short story from the long, don’t speak out against the NSDAP,” Bauer said. “Not if you want to go anywhere,” he paused for a moment before adding, “or if you want to stay safe.”

“Yes, sir,” Matilde said.

“Not ‘sir’ for long, _Leutnant,_ ” Kleinmetz commented.

Matilde glanced at him. The raised eyebrow spoke to her inquiry. “Sir?”

“As of two weeks ago, _Leutnant_ , you were put in for a promotion to Captain due to your performance in service to the Reich.” General Adolph Kleinmetz reached into his pocket, withdrawing something in his hands. “I received an answer just today.” Kleinmetz rose. “Rise, _Leutnant._ ”

Matilde did. She went rigid, standing at perfect attention. Her heels clicked together in the black boots, her hands pulling her uniform tight against her body. She waited there, straight as a board, before she gave her shoulder a quick look. The lone golden rank insignia, which had always looked to Matilde as a stylized star, stared back at her and the silver piping around the edge of the epaulette shone.

“By order of _Fuehrer_ Adolf Hitler, dated August 13, 1935, _Leutnant_ Matthias Schmidt has been granted and permitted the promotion to _Hauptmann,_ with all the rights and responsibilities therein,” Kleinmetz stated. “Congratulations, Captain Schmidt.” Kleinmetz raised his arm in a salute. “ _Sieg heil_!”

“ _Sieg heil_!” Matilde replied. “I’m honoured, sir.”

“You’ve proven yourself time and time again, Captain,” Kleinmetz said with a smile. He whispered, just below the audible range, “Besides, you’re already proving that you’re willing to serve, despite what many see as a disadvantage.”

She knew what Kleinmetz meant. Most of those within the _Wehrmacht_ classed her as being weaker by virtue of being born female. She was glad that, when she, Friedrich, Maximilian, and Hanna had joined up that they had gone to the one with Captain Bauer and General Kleinmetz. Despite early reservations about Kleinmetz, he had proven that he had been willing to overlook her femininity and treat her no different than the men under his command, with one exception: she answered to him and only him. Still, he let her be the sniper she had been born to be.

“You’ve proven yourself to be a true German, Captain Schmidt, and there are many people who could learn things from you,” Captain Bauer stated from behind. He rose from the tree, outstretched arm. “ _Sieg heil_!”

Maximilian rose, also saluting. “ _Die Fahne Hoch, die Reihen fest geschlossen_!”

Kleinmetz, Bauer, and Matilde joined in to _Horst Wessel Lied_. Their combined voices sounded in the trees and reverberated off the leaves and the bark. General Kleinmetz’s fingers deftly removed her epaulettes, then replaced it with the two ‘starburst’ insignia of Captain. The silver piping gleamed in the fading sunlight as several other members of the _Wehrmacht_ contingent stepped over in their direction. They peered at the group before realizing what was happening and saluting the new Captain. They joined in singing for celebration.

Even as they sang around them, Kleinmetz stopped for a moment, saying, “This doesn’t change anything. You’re still the sniper and still answer to me.”

Matilde nodded. “Yes, sir!”

As the impromptu singing came to an end, Maximilian stepped over to Matilde. He gave her a firm handshake and his congratulations. Captain Bauer shook her hand and patted her shoulder, giving his congratulations as well. The others moved towards her and did the same, which took several minutes before they all passed through.

“Since you are all here, I have an announcement to make,” Kleinmetz stated. He scanned through each of the faces of the men of the _Wehrmacht_. “In accordance with orders from our _Fuehrer_ , we’re to pull out within the next week and return to Germany.” The announcement was met with cheers from many and groans from a few of the men.

Matilde could say she honestly understood why they groaned. Though she looked forward to going home and seeing her beloved Hanna again, she did not want to leave the people she had made friends with over the last year either. 

She glanced off at the twilight and wondered about the future.


	9. Chapter 9

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter IX: “Nothing is going to happen to me.”_

_August 31, 1935  
Berlin, Germany_

“Safe travels, Matthias,” Maximilian stated. Despite the months they had spent together assisting Spanish Fascists, it still felt strange referring to Matilde as Matthias. He returned the outstretched arm and ‘ _Heil_ ’ from Matilde and watched as she turned and stepped away from him. He knew how she felt; the sense of not knowing where their respective loves were ate at him as much as it did her.

Maximilian stepped off the train platform and towards the main entrance doors. Around him, the grey uniforms of the _Heer_ intermingled with the suits and dresses of the civilians, his men trying to get back to their girlfriends and wives. Off to the side, he could still see Matilde at the ticket booths. He had no doubt she was trying to buy a ticket to Munich, not that he could blame her. How long had it been since either of them had seen their respective other halves?

He took a quick look behind him, the train’s flatbed cars carried the five tanks they had used to train Nationalists in Spain. Though they were all covered in tarps, hidden away as best they could be, he knew which one was his. His tank was the first flatbed rail car. He knew they were on their way to his base before being offloaded, but it still tugged at his heart.

The _Panzer I_ tank, named _Deutsches Ehre_ by its four crew, was home to them. The two young members of his crew often referred to the tank as their wives for the amount of time they were with it. Maximilian had chuckled and laughed at them, then explained he saw it more like a mistress. After that comment, he showed them the photograph of him and Matilde that was taken just after their enlistment. That had been just before their assignment to Spain.

Thus, when he had seen Matilde there, he worried his people would have seen right through it. None of them had - thankfully, they had all been far too interested in the gorgeous Spanish ladies swooning around them, but it had reminded him of the need to keep things secret. The train began pulling away from the station, her whistle blowing loudly to warn people away from it. The tarp fluttered in the breeze, as though it waved at him, and Maximilian nodded.

 _Goodbye, fair mistress, I shall see you again_ , Maximilian thought with a smile. _God, have I gone crazy_? _What would Fritz say_?

He threw his duffle bag over his shoulder and stepped away from the calm serenity of the Berlin Anhalter Bahnhof. As he went out into the Berlin street, he was greeted with the usual hustle and bustle. People talking, screaming, crying out; kids laughing and playing, crying, or sounding joyful as their fathers rushed to them. The sounds of Berlin reached his ears and he soaked it all in, thankful to be back.

Maximilian had never truly acknowledged how much he had missed his adopted home.

He moved down the sidewalk, cautiously avoiding the men and women moving through the streets. Maximilian knew he could have avoided the onslaught of Berliners if he had simply taken a different route, but it did not matter to him. He wanted to take in what he had missed for the past months. Living in the woods away from civilization was not a situation he loved doing for extended periods of time – indeed, he hated doing that.

As he turned down the street to his apartment building, Maximilian heard someone shout his name amidst the cacophony of voices around him. He turned, his eyes swept the people who encircled him, scanned them for anything that might indicate some sense of familiarity. There was none. No one held even the least bit of familiar appearance to him. They were all strangers.

“Maximilian!” Friedrich’s voice shouted from beside him, startling Maximilian.

“Can you yell any louder?” Maximilian asked sarcastically. He glared at his lover. “I’m sure I can still hear you!”

“ _Arschloch_!” joked Friedrich, punching Maximilian in the shoulder. Friedrich was dressed in his SS uniform and, though Matilde had warned him, Maximilian felt slightly uncomfortable in its presence.

Maximilian snickered nervously before motioning towards their apartment building. Friedrich nodded before pivoting and heading in its direction. Maximilian had to forcibly stare at the women around him, keep his eyes off Friedrich’s incredibly sexy ass as he walked to the apartment.

It was harder to do than he thought it would be. Maximilian had not thought about Friedrich and his beautiful form in almost a year. Now, it was taking all his willpower not to look and not to think about what he wanted to do to him.

Although it was only a few minutes for them to approach the building, it seemed like decades since Friedrich had called his name. Time stretched on, nearly into eternity, as Friedrich opened the front door and entered the main hall. Time slowed down again as they ascended the stairs and down the hallway towards their apartment. Friedrich seemed to fumble with the keys, though Maximilian had no doubts it was intentional. Friedrich, he knew, was teasing him, pretending to struggle, postponing entering their apartment.

Movement rippled in Maximilian’s pants. Even as Friedrich got the door open and they stepped in, Maximilian felt his pants grow tighter, a tent appearing in front of him. There was a sharp, scolding look from Friedrich. Maximilian could hear Friedrich’s words in his features, as clear as if he had spoken them.

Friedrich closed the door before turning back to Maximilian, the lock thudding. “Max, what if someone had seen that?”

“I would have just blamed it on the beautiful woman we saw out there.” Maximilian smiled at him. “The red-head, that hot little number.”

Friedrich raised an eyebrow, then smiled. “Been learning a lot from Matilde, have you, Max?”

“Not that she has eyes for anyone but Hanna, but yes, I figured it was a good idea,” Maximilian stated.

Friedrich made no comments. Rather, he used his frame to pin a willing Maximilian to the wall. His hands wrapped around Maximilian’s wrist, uniform fabrics rubbing against the others’ body. His lips connected with Maximilian’s and their heartbeats erupted like racehorses out of the starting gates.

Fireworks erupted from the touch of Friedrich’s lips, the sensual feel of him against Maximilian. A tingle started across Maximilian’s lips, running through him to his fingers. Sizzling, red-hot flames of passion tore through both Maximilian and Friedrich. The tent in his pants got larger, as large as Maximilian’s pants would allow it.

Everything was _perfect._

Friedrich removed one of his hands from around Maximilian’s wrist and slowly, teasingly, slid it down towards Maximilian’s pants. Friedrich purposely brushed against Maximilian’s cheek, sending electricity from each point of contact. His hand walked down the fabric of the grey _Wehrmacht Heer_ uniform, running across the pants, and torturously darted over Maximilian’s hard member.

Maximilian’s bottom lip quivered in response. The anticipation climbed within him. His swollen rod twitched, the fabric of the uniform pants prevented it from jumping up further. Maximilian felt as Friedrich’s hand left his other wrist and watched as Friedrich dropped to his knees in front of the quivering rod of flesh. He could hardly wait for Friedrich to remove them and let his meat spear fly free.

Friedrich did not disappoint.

If he could have ripped Maximilian’s clothes, it would have been like a bear defending his territory. Instead, he yanked down Maximilian’s pants and underwear, his cock jumping at his face, and Friedrich giggled in delight. He looked up into Maximilian’s yearning eyes before climbing back to his feet.

Friedrich pinned Maximilian’s right hand against the wall again. Friedrich’s right hand went to work on Maximilian’s uniform. It took only a few seconds to get through the entirety of the buttons.

The grey uniform popped open, the white shirt beneath almost gleaming in the lights. Friedrich’s fingers fumbled impatiently with the damned buttons, even as Maximilian’s own hands steadily parted the black uniform he wore. His uniform separated before Maximilian’s had come halfway.

“Anxious, are we?” Maximilian asked, looking at the lack of progress made by his boyfriend. He offered a cheeky smile before he allowed his fingers to work the buttons on Friedrich’s white shirt.

“What are you talking about, _Kleines_ Max? I got your pants off,” Friedrich smirked. “All you’ve done is open my uniform.”

Maximilian’s free arm swept behind Friedrich, pulling him close. Friedrich did nothing to resist. He held Friedrich back, their lips teasingly brushing one another’s. There was a brief, ecstatic pant from Friedrich.

“Maybe, but you’re so riled up, you can’t even get my shirt off, Fritz,” Maximilian said, each syllable causing their lips to brush, shivers to run up Friedrich’s spine. Maximilian could practically smell the desire as it oozed off him.

“Still got your pants off, Max,” Friedrich replied as his white shirt spread.

Maximilian’s heart raced as Friedrich removed his hand. The uniformed dropped uncaringly on the floor. Maximilian ran his hand along the firm and toned chest, ran them along the abdomen towards Friedrich’s own black pants as his white shirt opened. A cool breeze contrasting with the passionate heat he was emitting breathed against his skin. A shiver raked its fingers across his body as he allowed his uniform to fall in a heap.

Instead of going for Friedrich’s pants again, Maximilian pulled his boots off as Friedrich did the same. Their boots fell from their feet, Maximilian’s first. He did not hesitate, kicking the pants and underwear off his ankles, then pounced on Friedrich. He dropped to his knees as his hands grabbed at Friedrich’s waistline, hungrily working the black uniform pants from his love. They fell on the ground beside Friedrich’s boots.

As if it had waited years for Maximilian, Friedrich’s rod jumped from its prison, into Maximilian’s mouth. A pleasurable moan gripped Friedrich’s lips as Maximilian’s slid down, then back up his steel-like rod, a trail of wet sloppiness behind it. Maximilian’s left hand fondled Friedrich, massaging and rubbing, while his other hand glided in front of his mouth.

Maximilian could feel it throb in his mouth, could feel Friedrich build up, ready to erupt like a swollen volcano. Maximilian stopped. Friedrich let out a tortured moan as his member quaked. Maximilian rose to his feet and stared lustfully. Friedrich shook in anticipation.

“What, did you think you were just going to have fun right away? After all this time away from me?” Maximilian smirked. He waved a finger in front of Friedrich’s face. “No, no, no.”

Maximilian took hold of Friedrich’s hand and led him to their bedroom, pushing the door open. He pulled Friedrich inside and pushed him forcefully on the bed. Friedrich bounced into the air, his rock hard shaft shaking while he was airborne, the saliva glistened in the light. The spit flicked in the air, globs of it landing on the bed.

Maximilian climbed up onto the bed, slapping Friedrich’s inner thigh. A surprised gasp erupted from Friedrich, bringing about another slap from Maximilian. A sharp inhale sounded and Maximilian leaned down, planting his lips against the reddened skin and kissing the area. Friedrich went to grab Maximilian’s head, Maximilian slapped his hand away.

“Oh, no you don’t!” Maximilian scolded. “Bad, bad Fritz!”

Maximilian’s right hand slapped against Friedrich’s thigh, a grunt of pain sounding. As he scaled Friedrich’s body, Maximilian indulgently and passionately rubbed against it. Maximilian’s tongue flicked over the hardened, muscled skin, tasting the salty sweat, around the nipple. Soft, yet sensual moans came forth from Friedrich, becoming music to his ears.

“Hey, keep it down,” he scolded. “Matilde and Hanna aren’t here our cover, Fritz!”

Friedrich stared down at him before jokingly pushing on his head. Little effort was needed for him to fall back to his knees, towards the throbbing, tantalizing man meat. A moan slipped from Friedrich as his lips wrapped themselves around the meat stick, his right hand running up and down Friedrich’s shaft.

Up, down, up, down, Maximilian’s mouth swallowed it, deeply. His hand preceded his mouth, as though preparing the way. Another low moan sounded from Friedrich. He groaned, his hands grabbed the back of Maximilian’s head and forced it down on his spear, as though he could ram it through Maximilian’s head. Friedrich did a sit up and wrapped his legs against Maximilian’s back, keeping Maximilian pinned against him.

“Good fucking God!” Friedrich grunted as he felt the pressure build in his cock. It felt like it was going to split in half.

He quivered and convulsed. His hips bucked forward. He threw his head back as his mouth opened in a silent groan. The shakes in his body became more pronounced, his stomach muscles sucked in and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. He exploded in Maximilian’s mouth.

Friedrich convulsed. His hands forced Maximilian’s head further onto his rod. Friedrich felt the sensation of a nose brushing against his skin, bending sideways from the force applied by its owner. His hips thrust forward, shoving his cock deeply into the warmth and wetness of his lover. His member throbbed as though Maximilian had done nothing to him.

Friedrich drew out his moan.

Maximilian felt the hands gripping his head slip away, as though numb. He pulled back, the salty taste of Friedrich still remained in his mouth, even as he swallowed. He watched Friedrich’s eyes follow the Adam’s apple as it dropped and rose, the flavour descending down his throat.

Maximilian moaned at the taste of his love. He sucked on his fingers. “So good, inside and out, Fritz.”

Maximilian rose to his feet and pushed Friedrich back on the bed. He climbed, knelt down and spread his legs apart, slowly moving up Friedrich’s body. He wanted to torture Friedrich, have him wait for everything and be tortured by anticipation.

Maximilian felt Friedrich’s hands on his thigh, but Maximilian did not stop moving forward. Feeling his knees slide into Friedrich’s armpits, as though a puzzle piece locking into place, he halted. His rod hung off him, splitting the air between Friedrich’s eyes.

“Staring won’t help you, Fritz,” Maximilian stated as he smirked at Friedrich. “Wet or dry, it’s going in.”

“I don’t think you would,” Friedrich replied, a mischievous grin forming on his face. “You wouldn’t hurt me like that, naughty _Kleines_ Max.”

“Don’t tempt me,” Maximilian mirrored Friedrich’s grin. He tapped Friedrich’s left cheek lightly.

Friedrich taunted him with little flicks along the bottom of his shaft. Maximilian shivered in a combination of delight and anticipation, his toned stomach rippling with excitement. He shifted on his knees as Friedrich’s tongue wet its way up to the head.

Friedrich’s right hand slid around the rod and forcibly pulled it downwards, his lips sliding over the head. Maximilian grunted at the pain that resonated through his form at Friedrich’s yanking of his cock.

Friedrich let the saliva accumulate in his mouth, as though a lake was forming, before he ran his mouth up the meat rod at his lips. His mouth opened, leaving the slobber on the shaft, before his hand spread it across.

Maximilian moaned softly. Friedrich’s left hand slapped his chest, leaving a red handprint against Maximilian’s creamy skin. He pulled Maximilian down, nearly folding his lover in half, Maximilian’s wet, sloppy man meat smacking wetly against Friedrich’s neck.

“Now, what happened to being quiet, Max?” Fritz jokingly scolded smirking.

“I’m not going to be the one screaming my head off, Fritz,” Maximilian grinned.

“All that mind blowing sex I’ve been waiting for?” Friedrich asked, the smirk becoming a full-fledged grin. Friedrich pushed Maximilian over, rolling on top of him. He hurried up Maximilian’s body, planting his hands on Maximilian’s shoulder, pinning him to the bed. “What if I want to give you the mind blowing sex instead?”

“You do anyway, Fritz,” Maximilian said. “It’s why I love you.” Maximilian grinned. “That and your sexy ass.”

Friedrich leaned down and kissed Maximilian on the lips, his tongue slipping between them and trying to tie a knot with Maximilian’s.

The kiss seemed to last forever, Maximilian’s right hand slinking down to his crotch. He used it to guide his rod up, within Friedrich’s chasm before finding its way to its destination and thrusting up. A deep, sharp inhale of breath rushed into Friedrich’s lungs, a shudder running through his body as Maximilian’s hard, throbbing meat forced its way into Friedrich.

“Scheisse!” Friedrich groaned.

Maximilian teasingly pulled back, achingly slow as he felt Friedrich’s ass clench around his cock. The pressure felt great against his rod, tightening and pressing around him. He could feel the ball of fiery passion already start forming.

“Jesus!” Maximilian grunted beneath Friedrich. A groan rumbled through his body and out his lips as he almost left Friedrich’s ass. Maximilian thrusted as Friedrich tried to move away. Maximilian speared Friedrich, pushing deeper into him.

Groans sounded from Friedrich, grunts from Maximilian, another thrust forth drilling deeper into Friedrich. The burning passion within Maximilian seemed to ignite, threatening to scald him with each ball of sweat descending his brow. Sweat dripped from Friedrich’s chin and jaw, raining onto Maximilian, onto his face and chest. Maximilian licked at it between breathy moans and pants. The salty taste was like a sweet drink of relief running along his tongue.

Deep within Friedrich, Maximilian felt his manhood throbbing, the pressure nearly unbearable. It was like something was trying to tear its way out of him. He pulled back, the tip of the spear barely within, before ramming it upwards in a final, forceful push.

Friedrich groaned, trying his best to muffle it through clenched teeth. Maximilian grunted and groaned, his feet kicked at the bed. Friedrich’s left hand slapped over Maximilian’s mouth like a latch to the door to muffle the moan. Everything within Maximilian went numb, the pressure released in a sliding movement. His head rolled backwards and his body went limp. His teeth bit down subconsciously on Friedrich’s hand. A cry of surprise came from Friedrich.

Friedrich rolled off him before he threw himself back on Friedrich. Though he loved Friedrich with every fiber of his being, Maximilian could feel the passion and lust within him after years of not being around the man he cared so deeply about. Maximilian’s hands guided his rod back into the hole and he began pounding again.

“Jesus!” Friedrich’s grunts and groans filled the bedroom, louder with each thrust. Maximilian’s right hand clenched over Friedrich’s lips to muffle each noise.

Maximilian could feel it build again. He thrusted, deeper and deeper, sticky and warm surrounding his rod. Friedrich clenched his ass and the walls around Maximilian squeezed everything together.

“Feels so good!” Maximilian grunted.

Maximilian forced himself as deep as he could. His balls rubbed against Friedrich. He convulsed. Quakes rippled up his spine as his left fingers dug into Friedrich’s ankles and tiny half-moons appeared in the skin Maximilian pulled out and dropped beside his lover in a pleasured huff as air rushed from him. He inhaled sharply. Friedrich kept his legs in the air, twisting his head to look directly at Maximilian.

“Are you done ravaging me?” Friedrich asked between his own shallow and staccato breaths. “Can I put my legs down?”

“It’s possible,” Maximilian grinned mischievously. He watched as Friedrich lowered his legs with a grunt of pain. “As mind blowing as it sounded?”

“I’ll be lucky to walk straight for the next year, let alone sit,” Friedrich smirked.

Friedrich rolled and draped his arm over Maximilian’s statuesque chest. His heated breath brushed against Maximilian’s neck as he closed the gap between them. Everything from his rear up his spine throbbed, painfully, but he was overjoyed. He loved Maximilian. There was nowhere he would rather be.

Maximilian shifted his position. His arm came out from under Friedrich and lovingly wrapped around his shoulders. He knew Friedrich did not need protection - Friedrich had proven that time and time again as part of the police force. Rather, Maximilian felt better in offering the small, symbolic protection he was able to. Friedrich made a soft, gentle moan, but did little in resistance to it.

“Max,” Friedrich said softly. Maximilian made an unintelligible grunt, but said nothing. “Max?” Friedrich asked with a little more force behind his words.

“I grunted,” Maximilian said.

“Not an answer, Kleines Max,” Friedrich replied.

“What is it, Fritz?”

“I… I…”

Maximilian leaned over and kissed Friedrich on the forehead. “It’s okay. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to.”

“I killed people,” Friedrich blurted out. “Seven, seven people dead because of me.”

“Why?” Maximilian asked. He could see the drastic effect whatever it was had on Friedrich.

“I just, I put the barrel to their eyes and fired,” Friedrich said, absently. “I blew their fucking brains out, watched them splatter across the fucking ground, for God’s sake, Max, does it matter why?”

“Did they-”

“They were unarmed, they were prisoners according to all concepts of law and order, they should have been taken to,” Friedrich could not finish; his words just stopped.

“Friedrich,” Maximilian said gently, his hand running through Friedrich’s hair.

“I mean, there are talks about how they were conspiring against the Fuehrer, but...”

“You’re talking about the SA? You were there?”

“I was there,” Friedrich admitted. A tear drifted down from his eyes. “I found them all just in bed, just as we are. Maybe they just finished, like we are, and we dragged their lovers down the stairs, out back, and I blew their brains through the back of their heads. I put a bullet through Deputy Heines’ head as he stood, naked, singing _Horst Wessel Lied_. How could I have done that? How could I have shot people just like us, Max?”

Maximilian planted his lips against Friedrich’s forehead again. “Friedrich, they weren’t just like us.” Maximilian laid back down. “They pushed for attacks on all the propaganda run ‘ _untermenschen_ ’, they pushed for attacks on all of us, even while they, themselves were.”

“How are we different, Max? We’re hiding from them by marrying Hanna and Matilde?”

“We don’t push for any attacks, we are trying to live our lives without being killed, they were trying to kill us.”

“Not their lovers, though, Max! They were just there because they-”

“They were there because the SA leaders wanted them there.”

“I saw you in one of them, Max,” Friedrich said, stopping Maximilian. “When my second-in-command shot Heines’ lover, I saw you in my mind, not him, you. I watched you die in front of me, Max. I watched your brains paint that ground.”

Maximilian pulled Friedrich close, holding him tightly. “Friedrich, _nothing_ is going to happen to me. I promise you that.”


	10. "-something to remind me of happiness and joy-"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter X: “-something to remind me of happiness and joy-”_

_September 15, 1935  
Munich, Germany_

“Hanna!” Matilde cried, hurrying through the burgeoning crowd and into her girlfriend’s arms. They hugged each other. “I was worried about you!”

Matilde resisted the urge to kiss her beloved on the lips. She knew any show of affection like that would be their death sentence. During the faux courting, Hanna would have been seen Friedrich. If they were seen kissing, it was likely that she would be run out of town, even if someone did not recognize her as Matilde.

“Why, Matti?” Hanna asked. “You knew where I was.”

Matilde looked at Hanna after her matter-of-fact response. She leaned in as she whispered, “Aside from the fact that I love you, Hanna?” She raised her voice back to normal as she pulled away. “I haven’t heard anything from you in months.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“I heard,” Matilde said woefully. “Your father was a great man. My deepest and sincerest heartfelt sympathies.” She wanted to offer her shoulder to cry on, but Matilde knew she could not with so many other people standing around.

“I didn’t realize you were back.” Her eyes drilled into Matilde’s, boring into her soul. The look of coldness iced over Hanna’s eyes for long seconds before the kind loving ones that Matilde adored returned. “I’m glad, I could use some happiness in these times. I just thought you were still in Spain, training the Nationalist followers, Matti.”

“You mean getting a feel for the situation, cause a coup,” Matilde answered. “Mission accomplished.”

“Wasn’t Maximilian there, too?”

“Training insurgents and guerrillas, yes. They pulled us out in the last month, thus enabling events to play out as we have dictated them without our intervention or influence, supposedly.”

“Well, I’m glad you’re here,” Hanna said, a smile on her face.

Matilde motioned to the gathered crowd. “What’s going on here?”

“They are about to announce new legislation from _Fuehrer_ Hitler. Everyone wants to know what it is. Most of them are nothing more than cattle, following the rest of the herd. Some are here to be here.”

“Which are we?” Matilde asked jokingly.

“I’m here to hear what the legislation is,” Hanna replied. She stared at Matilde with cold eyes. “What are you here for?”

“You,” was Matilde’s only response.

Before Hanna could reply, a man stepped up the steps of Munich’s city hall. There was a sharp gasp from Hanna, drawing Matilde’s attention. Hanna looked at Matilde, a smile on her face. “That’s Adolf Wagner, _Gauleiter_ for Munich.”

Before Matilde could ask why Hanna was so enthused, Adolf started talking. “The Reichstag has unanimously enacted the following law, which is promulgated herewith: Article 1; a subject of the state is a person who enjoys the protection of the German Reich and who, in consequence, has specific obligations toward it.”

As Wagner continued, Matilde glanced at Hanna, who listened with intense focus. The seriousness on her face only served to worry Matilde. She had never see Hanna so intent on hearing the words of _der Fuehrer_ before and it scared her to think that Hanna was falling under his influence. She did not want to lose the greatest person in her life, not to the rising evil.

Wagner continued, “Article 2: A Reich citizen is a subject of the state who is of German or related blood and proves by his conduct that he is willing and fit to faithfully serve the German people and Reich. Reich citizenship is acquired through the granting of a Reich citizenship certificate. The Reich citizen is the sole bearer of full political rights in accordance with the law.”

Wagner continued to speak, elaborating on what the Reich citizen truly was. He made it a special point to ensure the gathered crowd understood that ninety-percent of the Jewish population did not fit into that definition and those Jews with only one Jewish grandparent only barely so. All non-Aryan peoples were, through the law, stripped of any citizenship and rights therein within the reach of the Reich, removed from the working world and thrown to the wolves.

Matilde looked at her girlfriend, shock and surprise written on her face. Hanna was impassive, her face expressionless. Considering how worried Hanna had been in her letters when the announcement had come that _Fuehrer_ Hitler had taken absolute power upon President Hindenburg’s death last year, it was a strange sight to see.

Wagner finished reading the new laws. “ _Heil_ Hitler!”

“ _Sieg heil_! _Sieg heil_!” The crowd chanted around them. Matilde heard a familiar voice shouting and she looked, seeing Hanna yell it, raising her arm in salute. Hesitantly, Matilde followed, her arm shooting out as she, too, joined in the chant, “ _Sieg heil_!”

 

 

“You’re scaring me,” Matilde said as Hanna closed the door behind them, the heavy clunk of the lock resounding in the hall. Matilde noticed a distinct quiet in the Bacher house, which was strange. She had never known it to be quiet around the Bacher home, except at night and it was only the evening. “Where is everyone?”

Hanna smirked at Matilde’s question. “I don’t think it matters, Matti. We’re alone.”

“It matters. Ilsabetta, your mother, they were as much my family as yours, considering the time we would spend at each other’s houses,” she said as she pulled her black boots off her feet and placed them on the floor. Hanna did the same with hers.

“I don’t want to talk about it, not now, not with you right here,” Hanna replied, stepping up to Matilde and wrapping her arms around her girlfriend. “I just want to live in this moment, stay in it for years to come.”

Matilde wrapped her arms around Hanna’s back. Though it was good to have Hanna back in her arms, just like old times, she could not shake the fact that something had changed within her beloved girlfriend. Not only that, but the fact that Hanna did not want to talk about what had happened to her mother and sister made Matilde worry even more. Especially after what had happened at city hall. She hated being scared for the one she loved the most, but it was worse being terrified by Hanna and she was becoming exceptionally worried, bordering terrified, for her beloved.

Hanna pressed forth, her lips brushing against Matilde’s. For a moment, everything disappeared around them; the worry that Matilde had, the walls and rooms, the rising evil, and Hanna’s missing family, all smoke in the wind. The delicious taste of Hanna’s lips on hers, the soft, silky feel of her creamy skin, the tantalizing smell of her hair, and the touch of her fingers sliding across the skin of her ass, all sent shivers up her spine and all neurons aflame.

Hanna’s fingers left her skin and she brought them around to Matilde’s front, working the buttons of the grey _Wehrmacht Heer_ uniform. Matilde’s hands took hold of Hanna’s, stopping her from unbuttoning the uniform too far down. It remained closed only by a few buttons. It did not feel right that they could do this, even in secret, when so many others had just been stripped of their rights. How could someone even think of sex or anything of the sort after that?

“What, Matti?” Hanna asked, a look of sadness passing over her features. “Am I-”

“No,” Matilde cut Hanna off. The look of sadness and pain that flowed over Hanna’s face was reminiscent of the Hanna before the rise of evil. Matilde let Hanna’s hands drop, her arms wrapping around her and pulling her close. “You’re my heart, my soul, the love of my life, and my very being, Hanna. Nothing will ever change that.”

“I love you, Matti, and it’s been so long since we’ve been together. I just...”

“You thought that we needed to...” Matilde smirked at the thought. It was easy to forget that Hanna had just been cheering on the rise of a regime hell bent on destroying them, though Matilde could believe that it was merely for show. They had joined up to hide within the ranks of evil. “Hanna, you’re silly, you know that.”

Hanna said nothing, listening to the beat of Matilde’s heart, her ear pressed up against her chest. How she missed hearing it, missed the soft, gentle caress of her girlfriend’s hand against her. Hanna shifted slightly, keeping herself against Matilde, keeping her body firmly pressed to Matilde’s, as though she was worried she would be pulled away from her at a moment’s notice. It was not far from the truth, Hanna knew; at any given moment, there could be a knock on the door and the sound of someone come to pull either of them away.

Hanna’s hand deftly moved up and unbuttoned the last two on Matilde’s uniform, the grey separating to exposing the white shirt beneath. Hanna looked up at Matilde teasingly. “Oops.”

Matilde shook her head. She did want it; as Hanna had said, it had been far too long since they had last been together. She loved Hanna, she could feel her heart pounding, racing within her chest at the thought of what was about to come, but it also felt like they should not be enjoying anything. If anyone discovered them, Matilde knew, they were part of the non-Aryans, they would be dismissed and thrown into one of the concentration camps throughout Germany. That, alone, was enough to make it wrong, despite what was more than right.

Hanna pulled away from Matilde’s body, grabbing her girlfriend’s hand and leading her up the stairs. Hanna pushed the door open before leading Matilde within. She did not even waste the time to stop and close the door, Hanna sat on the bed while Matilde remained standing, their hands intertwined. Hanna’s heart wanted to explode. Despite having seen Matilde for much of the day, it still seemed surreal to her. The love of her life was staring back at her with the same beauty from three years ago! It was enough to make Hanna weak in the knees, just like their first kiss over a decade ago.

“What about your mother or your sister? We can’t be caught, or we’ll be stuck somewhere and forgotten about,” Matilde said.

“We’ve nothing to worry about,” Hanna said.

Matilde sat on the bed next to Hanna. “Where are they, Hanna?”

“The SS marched in and took them about a month ago,” she admitted. “I just... I need something to remind me of happiness and joy, my love.”

Matilde leaned over, kissing Hanna’s lips. “I love you, always, Hanna. You are the only one who has ever taken my heart and the only one who will ever have it.”

Though Matilde knew it was wrong to enjoy themselves after so many people were to be tossed aside like garbage, she also knew that Hanna was likely hurting badly if she needed some form of sexual ravaging to remind her of better times. Matilde rose from the bed, pulling Hanna to her feet. She looked at her questioningly as Matilde’s hands carved canyons through Hanna’s hair, though she said nothing as her own hands worked the buttons on the white shirt. As the white shirt popped open, Hanna was reminded of what Matilde had had to do to get into the Heer as the sniper she was.

The breast bindings glared back at her and Hanna’s eyes dropped with sadness.

Matilde pulled her white shirt and grey Heer uniform from her shoulders, letting it drop to the floor in a heap. Though the look of sadness still resonated within Hanna’s eyes, Matilde felt her girlfriend’s hands reach around, brushing her back as Hanna went to work on removing the bindings from around Matilde’s breast. As the bindings came off, her breasts jumped forth in relief, bouncing for joy as a sigh of relief erupted from Matilde’s lips.

“God, that feels so damned good,” Matilde gasped in ecstasy.

“It looks so much better, too,” Hanna smirked.

“Being cheeky, are you?” Matilde joked.

“Picking up other languages, are you?” Hanna asked with a smile.

“Always,” Matilde shot back. She shivered, a sharp breath coming from her lips, Hanna’s hands brushing against her waist as they pulled back on her pants.

Hanna’s fingers found Matilde’s clit and rubbed it, causing several more sharp breaths from Matilde before Hanna pulled away. Her hands retreated from Matilde’s pants, sliding forth and going to unbutton the pants. As she finished, the pants slid down Matilde’s standing form, a grey pile forming around her ankles. Hanna looked at the underwear Matilde was wearing before offering a glance up into Matilde’s eyes.

“What? If I’m to be a man, I need to be the part indisputably,” Matilde commented. “That includes men’s underwear.”

Hanna offered no counter to that, simply sliding down Matilde’s body to the underwear and pulling them off her beloved. Matilde lifted her feet out from under the heap of pants and allowed Hanna to remove the underwear completely. Matilde felt her beloved Hanna slide back up her, Hanna’s soft skin feeling like a gentle rub before her mout closed around Matilde’s nipple.

Hanna sucked wetly at her girlfriend’s peaked tip and pulled on it with lightly clenched teeth. The soft, pleasured moan from Matilde was music to Hanna’s ears, was like the symphonies of old. Despite everything that had happened, joy grabbed hold of Hanna and she felt happiness climb within her breasts again. Another moan came from Matilde and Hanna let go of the nipple, a smile on her lips.

“Oh, how I love you, Hanna.”

“You have no idea how much I love you, Matti.”

Hanna’s lips planted kisses down Matilde’s beautiful, toned abdomen. She tickled her tongue around the inside of Matilde’s belly button, causing a shiver and a giggle from the other woman. Matilde’s hand ran through Hanna’s blonde hair, her shoulders quivered for a moment, before Hanna dropped down to her knees and flicked Matilde’s clit with her tongue.

Forcefully, Hanna turned, pushing Matilde along with her, moving her girlfriend towards the bed. As Matilde was at the end, Hanna pushed her back, Matilde dropping onto her back before Hanna lifted Matilde’s legs over her shoulder, spreading them and pulling her girlfriend’s clit to her mouth. Hanna flicked it, suckled it, rubbed it with her fingers. Her tongue moved down, between Matilde’s lower lips and inside her. Moans came from Matilde, to Hanna’s joy.

Shivers ran the length of Matilde’s spine. Quakes rippled through her body as she fell backwards onto the bed. Hanna continued, her tongue darting in and out of Matilde, her fingers relentlessly pushing in. The sponge-like walls pressed on Hanna’s fingers as she worked within, her tongue sensually sucking outside. 

Matilde’s toes curled in her white socks. Her panting became louder and more irregular, a moan escaping her lips that dragged on for long seconds. A quiver ran through her body, ending with a panting moan and an earthquake rumbling across her facial features.

“Oh, oh, oh! Oh, God! Oh, don’t stop! Holy...God!” Matilde cried out.

A shriek of pleasure erupted from her, her hips took a life of their own as they bucked like a wild horse. Her back arched like a bridge and her left hand grabbed the back of Hanna’s head, fingers interlacing with strands of hair. Her right arm slammed down on the blankets; once, twice, then three times. Her right fingers grasped the fabric, as though trying to strangle the life from it.

Matilde squeezed her legs together. She brought her calves as close as she could to the back of Hanna’s head. Hanna continued, her head rising and falling with each lick, the sounds of wet, sloppy sucking reached her ears, coinciding with each bout of fire that raced through her body. Matilde devolved into a mass of quivering, quaking flesh, shaking the bed, even as her left hand departed from the back of Hanna’s head.

A sharp, shrill yelp came from between Matilde’s legs. Matilde felt her legs push away from her and everything stopped as Hanna’s head appeared, rising from the crux of her legs, Hanna’s hand rubbing her head and cursing. Matilde instantly saw why, though, as strands of blonde hair came back with her hand. Hanna shook her head, rubbing it for several seconds before returning to Matilde’s clit.

Matilde gasped and grunted, moaned and groaned as she squirmed on the bed. Tossing and turning, shaking and quaking, her stomach became waves of skin as she panted. Sharp, staccatoed breaths came from her lungs as she tried to get air back into her.

Matilde exploded.

Years of not seeing her beloved, of not being sexually stimulated was like a dam to a lake. Hanna’s love broke it, shattering the hold that Matilde had on it. Her hips bucked wildly, her back arched again, demons controlled her voice box, the moan loud enough that Matilde worried the windows had rattled.

Her body fell back to the bed, hoping there was some reprieve. There was not. Hanna’s fingers continued to slide in and out of Matilde, rubbing against the right spot. Hanna’s tongue flipped and licked Matilde’s clit, ecstatic moans reverberating through the room.

“God, God, God! Christ on high! Oh, my God!” Matilde panted between each word. “Shit, shit, shit!”

For a third time, her back arched and Matilde felt the pressure rush from her. Her arms flailed like a broken marionette, her legs going rigid and straight. In a final, explosive moan, her third orgasm subsided. She fell back to the bed, breathless and quivering from the experience.

“God... Damn...” Matilde panted. “God... Fucking... Damn...” Her breasts rose and fell like a volcano ready to erupt. “Oh, my God! Oh, good God! Holy Christmas! That was... No words could do that justice, my love.”

Hanna smiled contentedly as she dropped herself beside Matilde. Minutes passed as Matilde caught her breath. Hanna lifted her head, placing her ear against Matilde’s breasts, listening to her beloved’s heartbeat. It was racing; Hanna could barely tell distinct beats. Matilde’s long hard breaths rattled through her lungs, nearly deafening Hanna as well.

The smell of sweat invaded Hanna’s sinuses. It was a welcome scent, one that she would not refuse. The sweet, unadulterated fragrance of her beloved was the greatest perfume to Hanna, one that she never wanted to forget about or be without. It did not matter what anyone else thought or said about it, the essence of Matilde was all she would ever need or want.

“Hanna, your uniform!” Matilde said as soon as she had caught her breath.

“It can be washed.”

“But it’s still on you!” Matilde said. She smirked at her girlfriend.

Hanna smirked right back, quickly reaching up and undoing the black tie around her neck. Matilde shifted, nearly pushing Hanna from her as Hanna rolled back to the side. Hanna’s hands had already spread the black uniform, exposing the white shirt beneath, but the time Matilde was in any sort of position. Matilde kneeled over her girlfriend, her hands grabbing for the buttons on Hanna’s white shirt, each button coming apart easier than the last, the fabric opening to reveal her white bra covering her beautiful breasts.

Matilde slid backwards, off the bed, allowing Hanna to stand up, unfastening her bra and dropping both layers to the ground, teasingly keeping her bra in front of her breasts. Matilde pulled it off, her hands massaging Hanna’s breasts, her tongue flicking the nipple. A sharp inhale sounded from Hanna, her nipple becoming erect enough that Matilde was sure Hanna could cut glass with it.

After a minute, Matilde slowly descended Hanna’s body, dropping to her knees, leaving a trail of kisses behind her. Matilde’s fingers slid across the waistband of Hanna’s skirt, separating the fabric before letting the black uniform drop to the ground at Hanna’s feet. Matilde stared for a moment at the black underwear that Hanna wore before her fingers tenderly and gently brushed against Hanna’s inner thigh, making their way up.

The black fabric was moist. Matilde sucked on it, the salty taste of sweat mingled with the sweet flavour of Hanna. A pleasurable moan sounded from both Matilde and Hanna in unison.

“Mmmm,” Matilde moaned.

She pulled down the black underwear down, leaving it around Hanna’s ankles, before Matilde, ran her fingers over Hanna’s slit. It was just as wet as her underwear, Matilde sucking her fingers before pushing Hanna back on the bed. Hanna stumbled before falling onto the bed, her legs up in the air.

“Damn, Hanna, you just about kicked me in the face!” Matilde scolded jokingly.

“Well, someone left underwear around my ankles,” Hanna replied teasingly.

Matilde pulled Hanna’s underwear off before Hanna spread her legs. Matilde pounced. Her face buried itself within Hanna, her lips wrapping around Hanna’s clit, sucking on it, teasingly pulling back on it. Moans climbed in volume from Hanna’s lips. Matilde’s fingers slid between the lower lips, into Hanna, moving around as more moans came to Matilde’s ears.

Matilde searched within Hanna, her fingers rubbing against her insides. She flinched, her body clenching, as Matilde’s fingers brushed against that one, distinct area. Hanna shifted before Matilde’s left hand pushed down on Hanna’s thigh, pulling her girlfriend back to where she had been lying before. Matilde’s fingers slid in and out of Hanna. Hanna’s soft, sensual voice groaned as her body shivered.

Matilde could tell that, like herself, Hanna had not had the stimulation in such a long time, every movement within her causing her to tighten down on Matilde’s fingers even more. Hanna’s shifting became more pronounced as Matilde was able to run her fingers within and against the right spot. Hanna’s knees folded and she let out a long, unintelligible moan as her fingers crushed the blanket between them.

Hanna’s breaths were pants, each sharp inhale doing nothing to restore air to her lungs, each exhale causing her lungs to burn. Her heart raced, her fingers going numb with the amount of force she was using on the blanket. Her vision became a tunnel, only seeing a circular part of the ceiling, the rest falling into complete blackness.

The pressure was unbearable.

Her back arched, her head facing the headboard. Her arms looked like some featherless chicken flapping its wings trying to fly. Even as a bridge, with her mouth wide open in a silent moan, she convulsed, as though trying to have sex with the air. Matilde almost laughed at the sight, would have if not for the fact that she was up to her lips between Hanna’s legs. It reminded her of a rope bridge swinging in the wind.

Her fingers felt the crushing force of Hanna as Hanna clenched harder, Matilde’s fingers feeling like they were about to break. Hanna dropped back to the soft sheets of her bed. Her arms still flailed and moans seemed to erupt non-stop from Hanna’s mouth. Hanna’s legs tried to crush Matilde between them, a cry of surprise and shock coming from Matilde, Hanna forcing herself not to squish her beloved’s head.

“Oh, God!” Hanna moaned. “Oh, God!” The words were drawn out even as her pants became more prominent. Her lungs felt like someone had been dropping rocks on them and letting them sit there. “Matti! Matti! Don’t stop! Oh, _scheisse_!”

Hanna did a perfect situp as she attempted to relieve the pressure building within her. It did not work, instead only building as she wrapped her hands around Matilde’s head and shoved her in. She could feel Matilde’s nose slide into her, could feel Matilde’s hot breath on her thighs and her grundle. It felt incredible to Hanna and her panting only quickened. Her breasts looked as they were trying to contain an explosion within them as they shook with each breath Hanna sucked in.

“God Almighty!” Hanna squealed with pleasure. She threw herself backwards, the pressure within her vanishing. She went to pull back, away from Matilde before Matilde stopped her, roughly yanking her back. “What-?”

Her question was cut off as Matilde lovingly, yet furiously went to work again within Hanna, her fingers nothing more than a reciprocating engine. The pressure built with Hanna again and Hanna flailed as it became unbearable. Her hips bucked, slamming into Matilde’s face before the second orgasm took full control of her and her voice deepened, a long, drawn out and terrifying moan sounding through the empty house, reverberating off the walls.

“Merry Christmas!” Hanna groaned as she fell back to the bed again. “Jesus Christ!”

Matilde slid up her beloved girlfriend’s body, even as Hanna panted like a wild man having just chased a herd of buffalo across the American plains. Matilde placed her right hand on Hanna’s breasts, feeling the racing heartbeat and the sharp inhales of air, trying to get it into her lungs. Hanna shivered slightly and Matilde lifted herself off the bed, pulling the sheets from under Hanna and sliding them over her body. She crawled under them as well and cuddled up to Hanna.

Matilde watched with loving eyes as Hanna’s throat moved with each breath and swallow. Hanna’s lips were wide open as she drank the air; with the amount she was taking in, Matilde smirked, that was about what Hanna was doing. Again, her hand slid over Hanna’s breasts, Matilde feeling the reassuring heartbeats again. How many times had they done this before _Fuehrer_ Hitler had taken complete and utter control of the Reichstag, then declared it illegal to be anything by his vision of a true German?

“I love you, Matti,” Hanna whispered through pants, her head turning and resting against Matilde’s. Hanna’s nose was flooded with the aroma of sweat while being tickled by the stubble that was Matilde’s hair. Hanna smiled, content in where she was and not wanting anything to be different.

“I love you, too, Hanna,” Matilde cooed, breathing in the sweat from Hanna’s neck. “Always and forever.”

“Matti, what did you mean?”

“When?” Matilde asked, wistfully.

“Earlier, when you said I was scaring you?”

“It was nothing, forget I said it,” Matilde replied.

“I can’t, Matti,” Hanna replied. “I can’t forget that I scare you, my love.” Hanna flinched away at the thought that she scared the only person she truly loved, without hiding. Matilde’s hand stopped her, pressing down on her breasts, keeping her where she was before Matilde lifted herself off the bed for a moment.

Matilde looked up at her girlfriend, staring into her blue eyes and feeling the silk like blonde hair caress her cheeks. She did not want to do anything to Hanna, did not want to cause a fight, did not want to wound Hanna’s psyche. She should not have said anything, though she had been worried about her beloved’s well-being.

“You scared me at the announcement,” Matilde admitted. “You seemed so cold and distant,” Matilde’s eyes dropped in sadness as she stared down at her beloved Hanna. “You seemed to be enjoying yourself there, Hanna. It worried me, I’d never seen you like that, like you’ve been drawn into that way of thinking.”

“I did it only to ensure that we would never be caught, Matti,” Hanna assured her. “God forbid anything happens to you because of me.”

“You just had me worried, Hanna,” Matilde said.

Hanna’s lips brushed against Matilde and the fiery passion they had just experienced seemed to flare through both of them. Hanna pressed her lips against Matilde’s, passionately, lovingly kissing her. Matilde wanted to melt into Hanna’s arms; Hanna did not want to let go. As Matilde rested her head on Hanna’s shoulder, there was no movement. They could both hear how fast the other’s heart was racing. It was eternal bliss for them both.


	11. "For Now We See In A Mirror, Darkly"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Again, to reiterate, I do not own any part of the song lyrics within this chapter. They all belong to Horst Wessel Lied, attributed to the Unknown Soldier in Der Angriff in 1929.

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter XI: “‘For now we see, in a mirror, darkly’”_

_March 7, 1936  
Berlin, Germany_

“Breaking news! Breaking news!” the newsboy screamed from the corner of the street. “The Rhineland is back in German hands! _Fuehrer_ Hitler has returned it back to the proper people!”

Matilde glanced over at the yelling newsboy. It was obvious that the young man was enthusiastic about it; she was not surprised by that fact either. Since the National Socialist party’s legal election to power and Hitler’s seizure of it through other means, enrolment of children into the _Hitlerjugend_ had skyrocketed. Matilde would not have been surprised to find that the young man on the corner had been thrown into that life without any thought to him and what he would have wanted.

Their waitress returned with the coffees they had ordered. It was the same coffee shop that Matilde had been attending since becoming ‘Matthias’, and the waitress, while they had varied over the years, was the same one that Friedrich had mentioned seemed smitten with her. Matilde had long since learned that her name was Eva and that she was twenty-five and had remained unmarried, something of peculiarity in the time. Eva stared at Matilde for a moment before stepping away from her.

Matilde wondered if it was less that Eva was smitten and more she was realizing that something was off about Matilde. The worry continued, even as Eva became friendly and no one ever just showed up at her door in the middle of the night to kidnap and beat the Hell out of her. It was always there, always in the back of her head, if not at the forefront of her mind.

“Something on your mind?” Hanna asked.

“Just thinking about what’s happened in the last three years,” Matilde said. “Hard to believe that three years ago, there was a likelihood that he wouldn’t have been in the Hitler Youth, now, no so much. There’s a good chance that he is.”

“And he probably would have turned to crime or been starving or any other thing, Matti,” Hanna countered. Even after three years, it was still strange referring to Matilde as Matthias. She sipped the coffee in her cup. “Hitler brought back work, lowered everything from that massive rush of inflation, and prevented our youth from being victims and criminals. I think that is, by far, a better alternative than otherwise.”

Matilde decided not to argue with Hanna on that point. How many other things had _der Fuehrer_ done that was not as noble as those things she had listed? How many violent and brutal things had he pushed forth? Had Friedrich not told her about the murders he had had to commit in service of _der Fuehrer_?

How many others had been forced to push a pistol into someone else’s eye and put a bullet through someone’s brain?

Instead of voicing those thoughts, Matilde simply sipped her coffee in reply. She knew that those thoughts, those questions, would do one of two things to her beloved. Hanna would jump up in anger and defend the actions as necessary – as she had done many times over the past year – or she would break completely at the concept that the government was truly willing to murder. Either one, Matilde did not need happening, not out in public like this and she certainly did not want that same situation to develop when they returned to the apartment.

She could hardly believe that Hanna had wanted to go out at this time. They both wore their uniforms and Matilde still looked like a Matthias rather than a Matilde, but that was fine. People barely looked at her. She looked like a rather plain man, hair shaved down, nothing spectacular, perhaps a little on the feminine side in a few features, but nothing that would ultimately draw their attention.

No, their eyes were instantly drawn to Hanna. Dressed in her black _Schutzstaffel_ uniform, the shoulder-length blonde hair glistening in the sun, Hanna was beautiful. Matilde could feel her heart racing within her chest and understood why everyone looked. The creamy, soft skin seemed to shine in the sunlight. The only thing wrong with the image was the red armband around her bicep. The _swastika_ , the one image of hate and intolerance, glared out from the white and red band, reminding Matilde that they all served a regime that was willing to kill them for merely existing.

“Think you can turn down your hair, Hanna?” Matilde asked, a smile on her face. “It’s starting to blind me.”

“You never complained before, Matti,” Hanna replied, returning the smile.

“That’s because you weren’t wearing black before, Hanna, it only got brighter with the darkness,” Matilde said.

Hanna motioned to her officer’s cap. “Should I put it back on?”

Matilde glanced down at it. The skull on Hanna’s cap was more disconcerting then anything that Matilde had seen in her short career thus far. It, like the swastika, seemed to be the harbinger of death, the herald of things to come and that, in itself, was a terrifying thought. Death and destruction, violence and devastation; how could it not be a horrifying thought, especially with her beloved being a part of that same endless destruction?

Matilde felt her sadness climb up her body. The sweet, lovable Hanna that she had fallen deeply for was beginning to be corrupted by it. She could see those little, subtle touches in Hanna’s personality and the fact that she was willing to defend the same regime trying to kill them. How could there be anything by the corruption involved?

“I’m being transferred to a newly opened holding facility,” Hanna commented bluntly.

Matilde’s interest piqued and there was a quick, instantaneous reversal of her sadness. Matilde, Maximilian, Friedrich, and Hanna were all aware of the euphemism the government used with regards to their concentration camps. Hanna had never used that one before, though, she had never tried to hide the reality from the other three.

“Where?”

“About fifty kilometers south of Bremerhaven,” Hanna replied. “I’ll be resigning as nursing staff and be reassigned as a guard. Effective transfer date two weeks from now.”

“Resign as a nurse, Hanna? But why?” Matilde asked. “And what do you mean reassigned as a guard?”

“Exactly as I said,” Hanna replied. “My work at Dachau has come to an end, my nursing skills are no longer needed. I, however, have proven myself capable of keeping watch over guards and other medical personnel.”

“You loved nursing,” Matilde said, barely above a whisper. It had not been that long before that Matilde could remember Hanna returning home, stories to tell about her day and how she had loved it there. Another change from the evil permeating this country.

“I did. Now I have more of a chance to do something worthwhile with my life, Matti,” Hanna said. “I get to ensure that the prisoners aren’t killing themselves and that all punishments are just and those in need of medical attention receive the proper medical treatment.”

“And what does that mean for us?” Matilde asked.

There was worry in her question. How could anything else be? She was watching her beloved turn into the one thing she feared, turn into a Hitler follower, which Matilde hated even thinking that. She did not want to think about the fact that she was losing her beloved to the very thing they had been terrified off enough to join that same regime.

“A longer train ride, Matti, that’s it,” Hanna replied. Her voice lowered, barely above a whisper, quiet enough that Matilde had to lean over to hear her. “I will always love you, Matilde, always. When has there ever been anyone else in my life that I have owed so much to and received so much more in return?”

“No one?” Matilde asked.

“No one,” Hanna confirmed, drinking back the last of her coffee. “All it means for us, like I said, is a longer train ride to see me and probably a longer duration between visits. I can’t be sure what the commandant at Bremerhaven will be like.” Hanna offered a reassuring smile to her girlfriend.

Before anything else could be said, singing could be heard in the background. They both exchanged inquisitive glances before turning to look around the street. The newsboy stopped shouting, snapping a salute. The singing continued growing as both Hanna and Matilde rose from their seats, both cracking their own salutes as they watched the parade formation storming down the street like a flood of black and grey, _Schutzstaffel_ and _Heer_ men moving in celebration of the taking of the Rhineland.

All around them, chairs slid out as the other patrons rose from their chairs and turned towards the marching personnel. Matilde felt guilt climb within her. Most of those people in the coffee shop had been older gentlemen, ones that had survived the Great War, had witnessed the violence and the devastation that had been caused. She could scarcely imagine any of them thinking that the annexation of the Rhineland, against the treaty Germany had been forced to adhere to, was a good idea.

“ _Zum letzten Mal; wird nun Appel geblasen; Zum Kampfe steh’n; wir alle schon bereit_!” Hanna joined in immediately as the new verse started.

Matilde glanced over at her girlfriend, seeing the same emotionless, determined face she had seen during the announcement of German citizenship the previous year. All around her, the veterans of the Great War began adding their voices to the song, one by one the words becoming louder, overwhelming everything else. Matilde looked over as their waitress stepped up beside her.

There was a defiance in her stance, not just from the lack of salute from her, but just her posture. Matilde knew it would not end well. Breaking from _Horst Wessel Lied, Matilde said, “Eva, salute!”_

_“To a regime Hellbent on destroying us yet again, I think not,” Eva replied. For the first time in a long time, Matilde was glad that no one else was around them._

_“You know what will happen to you if you don’t! Now, salute!” Matilde said forcefully. Out of the corner of her eye, she watched as one of the _Schutzstaffel_ officers stepped towards them, his sharp eyes centered ominously on Eva. “Jesus, Eva, just do it!”_

_“You dare show disrespect!” the man yelled as he stepped up to Eva._

_“ _Untersturmfuehrer_ , apol-”_

_“SS don’t answer to the likes of you!” the man growled. “Now, shut up!” He backhanded Eva, knocking her off her feet and onto the ground. He pulled the Luger from his holster, pinning it against Matilde’s head, staring at her overcoat and the rank insignia. “We answer to _der Fuehrer_ , Captain! I could pull this trigger and there’s nothing anyone could do about it!”_

_“He may not, _Untersturmfuehrer_ , but I order you to stand down before I file a complaint and have actions taken against you,” a familiar voice stated. General Kleinmetz stepped forth from the _Heer_ , over to the _Schutzstaffel Untersturmfuehrer_. “Get back to formation.”_

_The man glared at Matilde, then Eva, before pivoting and jogging up to his position. He disappeared into the soldiers. Matilde looked in surprise at General Kleinmetz before he, too, stepped back and vanished into the marching men._

_Matilde kneeled down, looking at Eva, who held her cheek where the man had struck her. “It could have been much worse, Eva.” Matilde shook her head as she helped the waitress up, “At least he didn’t just shoot you on the spot.”_

_“Thank you, for standing up to him,” Eva said._

_“Maybe now you’ll listen when I say to do something,” Matilde commented before returning her salute. Though she had been defiant at first, Matilde saw that even Eva had, although she was not singing, even as everyone was continuing to sing all around them. “I don’t think you want to go home tonight, come with us instead.”_

_“Are you sure that’s wise?” Hanna asked as she glared at Eva. “She’s already put you at risk, Matti. You almost died because of her.”_

_“We’ve been at that point even without having her here,” Matilde shot back. “How many times have we been terrified of being shot on the spot for nothing, Hanna?”_

_“I don’t want to be a problem, Matthias,” Eva said. “I can go home.”_

_“You’re not going home, I don’t need more blood on my hands, _Frau_ Weiss,” Matilde said. “When is your shift over?”_

_“About three hours,” Eva answered._

_“You are actually considering this, Matti?” Hanna asked, her tone denoted her irritation and its rise to anger. “Why don’t you just paint a target on our backs? It’s not like we don’t have enough to worry about!”_

_“Hanna, calm down,” Matilde said. There was worry in her thoughts. She had never seen Hanna so opposed to helping anyone else out, it was such a change and reversal from her girlfriend’s usual personality, the one before she had joined the _Schutzstaffel_. “What’s gotten into you? Each time I see you, it seems like you’re becoming less and less like yourself.”_

_“Seriously, Matthias, I don’t want to cause problems, I’ll just go home,” Eva stated again._

_“You’re going to ask what’s gotten into me?” Hanna growled. “You’re bringing trouble back to our place and you expect me to just sit down and take that?” She glared at Matilde. “That man just about blew your brains out because of her! How do you think that makes me feel? And now you want to bring the same person who almost got your brains splattered on the sidewalk to our apartment?”_

_“I want to help, not be stuck standing by like so many of those who did just that while everyone else was being assaulted by the SA,” Matilde countered._

_“By putting a Goddamned target on us!” Hanna snapped derisively. The long sea of grey and black vanished down the street and people retook their seats, Eva stepping away, her head hung in a shamed expression. Hanna glared at Matilde. “I’ll see you at the apartment later.” She pivoted on her heel before stepping down the street._

_Matilde sat back down, staring at the retreating form of her beloved. “What just happened?” she muttered to herself._

_“Forgive me for intruding, yet again, Matthias, but it seems that I came between you and your wife,” Eva’s voice stated from behind Matilde._

_Matilde turned to look at her. “It wasn’t you. I just, I haven’t seen her like this, I don’t know what’s happening.”_

_“Forgive me, again, but look at it from her perspective, it will give you a better understanding of what has happened here today,” Eva stated. She stepped away to return to her duties._

_Matilde thought about it. Had she been insensitive, was there something that she had done, unintentionally, to hurt Hanna? She had offered refuge to someone who had likely just been made a target to the _Schutzstaffel_ , offering some form of safety with them. Had Hanna not voiced the same opinion throughout their relationship? Did Hanna not constantly live in fear that someone was going to beat them or kill them, find out and otherwise have their way with them? Had she not, over the course of the relationship, stated that she wished she could have helped those same individuals? Why had she changed her mind now? What was going through her mind?_

_For the first time in the fifteen years they had been together, Matilde found herself in a void when it came to Hanna. She could not think of what her beloved’s mind was otherwise going through and thinking; it had been corrupted and twisted in some degree, forming, as of now, a subjugated mindset that only showed on some occasions. She worried, she _feared_ what was happening to her beloved right now. She did not want to lose Hanna, did not want her beloved girlfriend to be controlled by the evil that permeated everyday society within Germany’s borders._

_She removed her officer’s cap and ran her hand along the side of her head, the bristle-like hair now a familiar sensation to her. It brought memories of her love, of when they had been truly happy and she had known what was running through Hanna’s mind. The happiness and joy that had been part of their lives, everything that had been present to them that seemed to be slipping away, albeit slowly. A tear formed in the corner of her eye at that thought._

_Her hand brushed it away as she stared blankly into her coffee, absently into her reflection’s eyes. She could see that she, herself, had changed and not for the better. The collar tabs of her uniform showed, the rank of _Hauptmann_ easily seen in the liquid. Her blue eyes, formerly full of life and cheer, happiness and joy, were showing a darker, sadder side to them, and her beautiful blonde locks had vanished, replaced by the masculine haircut she had received at the hands of her beloved all those years ago, a haircut she had continued to keep up. A woman stared into the cup, but a servant of the cruel regime stared back at the woman._

_“‘For now we see in a mirror, darkly, but then, face to face’,” Matilde said._

_Matilde looked around again, taking in the sight of the veterans wearing their _Stahlhelm_ s and their Imperial German Army uniforms. She could hear the familiar strains of a toast to fallen comrades come from their lips. She rose from her chair, stepping over towards the veterans sitting at the other table._

_“Excuse me, gentlemen,” Matilde said after they finished. The senior officer at the table, dressed in markings of a Colonel, looked up at her. “ _Herr Oberst_ , I could not help but overhear. May I be so bold as to inquire what you were toasting?”_

_“ _Herr Hauptmann_ ,” the Colonel started, “forgive us old men and our loudness.”_

_Matilde held her hand out to stop the Colonel. “ _Herr Oberst_ , you don’t need to ask forgiveness, for there is nothing to forgive. Celebrating and remembering fallen comrades is something to be loud about.”_

_“Someone who understands what it means to lose people,” the Colonel stated. “Tell me, _Herr Hauptmann_ , have you been in combat?”_

_“Please, sir, it’s Schmidt, Matthias Schmidt. To answer your question, though, I have not,” Matilde answered._

_“Then you are wiser than your years make you appear,” the Colonel stated. “And it’s Colonel von Luetzen, _Hauptmann_ Schmidt.”_

_“Thank you, Colonel von Luetzen.”_

_“Have a seat, Captain.” A few looks from his compatriots showed concern and surprise, but none of them said anything. “To answer your question, we are toasting comrades lost in our attempt to take the French fortress of Verdun during the Great War. Too many paid the ultimate price during the year we took attacking the damned thing.” Von Luetzen looked around the table and the surrounding tables, at the veterans who had shown up with him. “What you see here, is all that’s left of our group. Thirteen people of what had once been over a thousand.”_

_“To lost comrades, may they never be forgotten, Colonel!” Matilde stated, raising her glass._

_“To lost comrades, may they never be forgotten!” von Luetzen echoed, the rest of the veterans following suit. “You seem to be smart, _Hauptmann_ Schmidt, why do you insist on serving the government?”_

_“That’s a dangerous, bordering on revolutionary question,” Matilde replied._

_“I am an old man, I have lived my life, I have no family left, it matters little what happens to me,” von Luetzen said._

_“I serve for Germany,” Matilde said. “I serve to keep Germany strong, to defend my family, and my wife.”_

_“So did we all,” von Luetzen stated. “Heard the horde was knocking on Germany’s borders, we all went forward and joined up, en mass, whole armies formed in heartbeats. It lead the Empire to ruin and we all watched, we all fiddled, as Germany burned. We all see the writing on the wall, _Hauptmann_. Hitler will fiddle as Berlin burns, as sure as Nero did while Rome burned.” Von Luetzen drank back the glass in his hand before motioning for Eva to come to the table. “We will all pay for the arrogance that is _Fuehrer_ Adolf Hitler.” Sarcastically, von Luetzen stated, “ _Heil_ Hitler.”_

_“ _Sieg heil_!” the sarcastic chorus sounded from around them from the rest of the veteran._

_“ _Heil Krieg_!” von Luetzen stated._

__Hail, war,_ Matilde thought to herself, repeating the cynical cheer mentally. The path for which the _Deustches Reich_ was heading was definitely towards war, she had no disillusions about that._

_“ _Heil Zerstoerung_!” the veterans chorused._

__Hail, destruction_ , Matilde repeated mentally._

_She knew it was the most likely idea, because, even twenty years after the Great War, everyone was still greatly affected. Hanna’s father had been. He had always been thankful for daughters, since he had never wanted his sons to experience war the way he had. Matilde’s own uncle had refused to talk about the war and the tragedies he had borne witness to through his four years in combat. Friedrich and Maximilian had said the same thing about their own fathers, and most people she had come into contact with had said the same thing. If they had not lost family to the war, a brother, father, or uncle, those family members had been tight-lipped about what they had gone through. The Great War had destroyed a generation._

_Eva stepped up. Von Luetzen looked up at her as she stood there, waiting, for a moment. He looked around the table at his fellow veterans. “What do you say, how about we send this beautiful Valkyrie back home instead of waiting on us all day?”_

_“Aye!” chorused the tables. They began handing over Reichsmarks like they were nothing. _Oberst_ von Luetzen counted before handing it to Eva._

_“That should be enough for the tab and your wages. If _Herr_ Konstantin has a problem, send him this way,” von Luetzen said._

_“I-”_

_“No argument, you send him here if he has a problem,” von Luetzen repeated._

_“Yes, sir,” Eva said, stepping away. Matilde caught herself glancing at the long, brunette hair as it swayed down her back with each movement of her hips._

_“That was nice of you, Colonel,” Matilde said. She rose from her chair, standing to her full height again._

_“The SS have targeted her, she’s not safe here, and, by far, I do not wish to see anything happen to her,” von Luetzen said. “You were talking to her, make sure she’s safe. She trusts you, Hauptmann.”_

_“I was told that I was free to go,” Eva said. “Only after I said Colonel von Luetzen said I could.”_

_“Then go,” von Luetzen stated. “I will straighten out the ripples. And, Frau Eva, be careful in the future.”_

_“Yes, Colonel,” Eva said. Matilde noticed the red imprint of the man’s backhand on Eva’s face, despite the obvious fact that she was trying to hide it._

_“In my day, we would have given that bastard some good lashings for disrespecting a beautiful woman like that,” von Luetzen said before turning back to the rest of the veterans._

_Eva blushed bright red with the line, twisting away to hide it before Matilde led her away from the coffee shop._

_If she had not been aware of how badly she had messed up, the open palmed slap across her cheek made sure she was brought back to reality. The pain erupted through her face and Matilde’s hand went to her cheek instantly. A sharp, surprised yelp erupted from her lips._

_“Do I mean that little to you, Matti?” Hanna growled, slamming the door closed behind Eva.  
Matilde looked at the table, seeing a travel bag on it, open and exposed. “Do you mean that little to me? I think the actual question is do I mean that little to you?”_

_“You want a target on you, after everything we’ve done, that’s fine, but don’t expect me to stay!” Hanna said. “I’ve been requested to meet with _Herr Reichsfuehrer-SS_ Himmler. I’ll be traveling to Bremerhaven camp after the meeting is over.”_

_Hanna grabbed her bag and stared, sadly, at Matilde. As she stepped past Eva and towards the door, Hanna glared, her eyes like bullets ready to slaughter the young waitress. Eva’s eyes dropped apologetically, descending to her feet in sadness, as though it was her fault._

_Hanna opened the door and disappeared as it slammed behind her._

_“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”_

_“You didn’t do anything, Eva. Hanna, she’s been distant for a bit,” Matilde sat down in the chair, sorrow filled her tone._

_Eva sat down across from Matilde, staring at her. “I’m still sorry, Matthias.” She looked at her hands, nervously wringing them, her breathing full of angst. “What’s your actual name?”_

_“Matthias,” Matilde replied._

_“That’s a strange name for a woman,” Eva said._

_“I’m not.”_

_“You may have cut your hair to pass as a man, but I’m not blind and stupid,” Eva said. “You’re female.”_

_“I’m not,” Matilde countered. Though she had befriended Eva, she did not trust that she was not part of the _Gestapo _, some undercover agent seeking out those who did not follow in the line of the Aryan. “I am as male as you are female.”___

___“Show me,” Eva said._ _ _

___“I’m not stripping naked!” Matilde said defensively._ _ _

___“I didn’t say strip, show off your chest hair,” Eva said. “If it helps, I’m not a true,” she said the word with disgust, “German, either. I’m _homosexuelle_ , too.”_ _ _

___Matilde sighed in defeat. Regardless of how she tried to defend herself, regardless of what she did to hide herself, it was clear that, not only had Eva seen through it, but she had maneuvered Matilde into a corner and was waiting. Matilde reached up, unbuttoning the grey uniform and the white shirt, showing the bindings. If Matilde was about to be sent off to the concentration camp, she would defend Hanna to the end, proclaiming Hanna knew nothing about it._ _ _

___“So, what’s your actual name?” Eva asked. She stepped around the corner to get a better look at the bindings. She leaned in._ _ _

___“It’s Matilde,” she admitted. She could feel Eva’s breath against her cheek._ _ _

___“Does Hanna know?” Eva asked._ _ _

___Matilde wanted to say ‘yes’, she wanted to say that Hanna was the love of her life, was the only person she could ever love. Yet, Matilde worried. How many other men and women had she seen taken away in the middle of the night or during training and maneuvers, disappeared, never to be seen again? The only reason Matilde could think of as to why she had not been found and uncovered was due largely to General Kleinmetz’ interventions._ _ _

___“No,” Matilde said to protect Hanna. “I convinced her I was a man, married her, then we both joined up. We’ve never truly been able to spend enough time around each other to have sex.”_ _ _

___“Don’t you ever just want to be yourself?” Eva asked. “Don’t you ever just want to shed the persona of a man and just be a woman? A woman in love with another woman?”_ _ _

___“Always,” Matilde admitted. Even with Hanna, she had always had to hide herself; behind Maximilian, or as a man, or as anything but being in love with Hanna. For once, she just wanted to be Hanna’s girlfriend, to be, as Eva said, ‘a woman in love with another woman’._ _ _

___Eva glanced at Matilde, her head shifting, her lips brushing against Matilde’s. It was strange. They were just like Hanna’s, soft and sensual. The lipstick left a smear up her lips and onto the tip of her nose. Instantly, guilt grabbed at her heart, pressing it, closing around her. The thoughts of how alike Hanna and Eva’s lips were, it felt to her like she was cheating on Hanna. She felt absolutely terrible at even having those thoughts._ _ _

___She pushed Eva back, away from her. Eva stumbled backward, her face showing surprise and shock. It was as though Matilde had spread her legs like a prostitute along Charlottenburger Chaussee, wide and waiting. At least, before everything had gone down and Hitler had risen to power. That was one benefit, the main street of Berlin had become clean._ _ _

___“I...” Matilde trailed. “I’m sorry if I made it seem like I wanted you, but that was never my intention. I don’t want you to be a mistress. I don’t want to be untrue to Hanna.”_ _ _

___“You already are by not admitting who you truly were,” Eva said. “Even if you don’t see it as that.” Eva sat down. “I’m sorry, you have been nice enough to let me stay here, away from the eyes of the SS, and I have tried to push myself on you. I’ll leave if you wish.”_ _ _

___“Stay,” Matilde said. “I’m not happy with you right now, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you go and get yourself killed.”_ _ _


	12. "For see Fuehrer!"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter XII: ‘For der Fuehrer!’_

_March 8, 1936  
Wannsee, Germany_

The drive to the villa at 56-58 Am Grossen Wannsee seemed to pass in mere moments, despite the fact that it had taken fifteen minutes from her arrival at Berlin-Wannsee Station. She had been greeted by the sight of her current driver, dressed in the black of the  _Schulzstaffel_ , not unlike her own. In the back seat of the car, she had watched the city of Wansee as it had passed. Subconsciously, she straightened out her skirt.

“Is there something wrong, Frau Andermann?” her driver asked.

“Nerves,” Hanna replied. It was partially true. She was nervous about meeting with  _Reichsfuehrer-SS_  Heinrich Himmler. However, it was not the only reason.

She could not help but think about the argument from the day before. How could she not? Matilde was the person she loved, to argue with her and to feel as she was, to feel that she had been betrayed, hurt her badly and drastically. She could not believe it, she did not want to think that that could happen. Not now, not when they had been so close before and during everything going on.

Still, Matilde had put a target on all of their backs by bringing that woman in.  She had proven to the  _Schutzstaffel_ she would disobey and had done so while putting Matilde in danger.  Not to mention that she had made it clear she would not stop doing so!  That Goddamned woman, that waitress, was putting them all in danger of being exposed and that meant a trip to the concentration camps!  If not death outright!  Had Friedrich no confirmed that they were more than willing to kill?

Hanna could remember Friedrich’s eyes as he had told her about killing those men in the  _Sturmabteilung_. It had sickened him that he would have to do that, but it terrified him to think that he was serving a government that condoned the outright killing of people, without trial, without any justice. Hanna knew they would have no remorse or regret if the same thing was to happen to them. Indeed, she knew, many of them would likely welcome that entire situation.

Well, perhaps for Friedrich and Maximilian.

Hanna was not stupid. She knew that she and Matilde would have men forced upon them, repeatedly in order for the superior German race to continue. Despite their sexuality not lining up to what the Aryan ideal, it would not stop them from using her and Matilde to forward their plans. After all, even  _der Fuehrer_  fell short of his ideals of blond hair, blue-eyed.

Not like her, who exemplified the Aryan idea: beautiful, intelligent, blonde hair flowing from her head, and blue eyes staring out.   _SS-Oberfuehrer_  Deubel, who had been her commandantat Dachau, had commented numerous times about her similarities to the Aryan ideal.  He had stated on more than one occasion on how, if a statue had been erected with the perfect representation of the Aryan principle, it would have looked like her.  She had feigned being flattered, but knew he was only trying hard for one thing.

She barely noticed as the car stopped. Her thoughts halted as she composed herself mentally. She did not need, nor did she want,  _Reichsfuehrer-SS_ Himmler to see her in a mentally disheveled state. Hanna’s hands pulled her skirt again, straightening it out before the door opened.  She slid out and breathed in the fresh air as she studied the villa in front of her.  Her hands tugged down on her uniform, erasing any folds or wrinkles that might have developed during the ride, before stepping forward, moving towards the door.

“ _Herr Reichsfuehrer_ Himmler instructs you to enter,  _Frau Fuehrerin_ ,” her driver stated as he closed the door. “He will be waiting for you in the room off the entranceway.”

“Thank you, Corporal,” Hanna replied.

She stepped forward, each step one of dread as her eyes maintained their focus on the doors in front of her. Her skirt billowed in a short breeze, even as her feet seemed to carry her up the stairs without an order to do so. It was as though she was being moved around at the mercy of a deity rather than her own choices and wishes. Hanna came to a stop at the door.

She stared blankly ahead for several unending moments.

Worry and concern rippled through her. This was the man who had openly campaigned about forcing heterosexuality on all homosexual men and women, who had stated that those unable and incapable of having heterosexual sex were otherwise irrelevant in the grand scheme of things and, as such, were not citizens of the Reich. Death and permanent internment were the most likely in that case. Had she not witnessed the same hatred, even amidst the prisoners interred?

She steeled herself as she stepped through the door. She did not want to show fear, worry, or the concern that was rolling within her. Any signs of weakness could have dire consequences, especially if she let things slip. She took a deep breath before turning the corner of the entranceway.

“ _Herr Reichsfuehrer-SS_ ,” Hanna said, raising her arm as she stepped up to him. “ _Seig heil_!”

“ _Sieg heil, Frau Fuehrerin_  Anderman,” Heinrich Himmler stated. He turned back to staring out the window. “You have come with some high recommendations from all your commanders at Dachau, including, yet not limited to, a finely worded letter from  _SS-Oberfuehrer_  Deubel. He commends you for your abilities and your loyalty to the Reich.  He had nothing but respect for you.

“As you well know, there was some incident with  _Herr_ Deubel that were documented in papers, domestically and overseas, which has considerably diminished his reputation with those of us in the leadership,” Himmler stated. “Thus, it is more remarkable that you have received similar statements from all of those. Waekerle, Eicke, Reiner, Maack, they all spoke highly of your nursing abilities as well as your ability to take command of a situation when necessary.”

“I do attempt to run an efficient nursing facility, sir,” Hanna replied. “It is something that I pride myself on and serves for the benefit of my patients’ survival.”

“And,  _Frau_ Anderman, which patients do you seek treatment for first?”

“By virtue or by need,  _Herr Reichsfuehrer_?”

“Both,” Himmler replied.

“By virtue, it’s obvious, only the true Aryans are deserving of treatment,” Hanna replied. “Treatment of the true Germans are the priority in any given situation. The continued propagation of the true leaders of the world’s destiny has to be the primary goal for any loyal German citizen and must be the only priority for those serving the people in any capacity.

“With terms of need, my training says that those who are wounded are gauged based on the extent of the injuries,” Hanna replied. Himmler raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Hanna continued, “However, in recent years, I have learned that not all people deserve that treatment. I have witnessed how people have turned on one another within Dachau, despite the guards’ best attempts to prevent it and dissuade attacks. Instead, it only cements the idea that any non-Aryan person is nothing more than a brutal, violent savage.  Aryans take precedence over every other individual.”

“That’s a good answer, almost as though you had spent time rehearsing it,” Himmler commented. “We all know that’s the party line,  _Frau_ Fuehrerin,” he folded his arms behind his back, clasping his hands, his eyes remaining centered on the landscape outside the window. “What are your actual thoughts on the matter?”

“I...” Hanna started. Her words needed to be chosen perfectly in order to convince the man in front of her of her intentions. “I do not understand,  _Herr Reichsfuehrer_. There can be no differentiation with regards to this matter, sir. One must follow the orders of the party or this great nation will falter and fall. True Germans deserve to rule Germany, not those who pretend to be German, yet stab us in the back at the first chance they get.”

“I’m glad that you see things the same as the rest of the Reich,  _Frau Fuehrerin_ Andermann,” Himmler stated, turning to face her. “Please, tell me something, how have you enjoyed working as a nurse within Dachau?”

Hanna bit her lip. Her true answer would have been seen as anti-government. They had stuck them all in there, after all, they had wanted to keep them out of the public eye as much as they had wanted to do anything else. Yet, she could not condone the things she had seen, what she had witnessed.

“Please, do not hesitate to elaborate,  _Frau Fuehrerin_ ,” Himmler stated. “I asked as I have yet to meet someone who will explain exactly as I have asked. The commandants all provide reports about how great it is, how perfectly, wonderful, and infallible the system is. I want a true opinion.” Hanna hesitated. Himmler looked into her eyes. “I won’t hold it against you,  _Frau_ Andermann.”

Hanna offered an awkward smile at  _Reichfuehrer-SS_  Himmler as she composed her words carefully. “I find the animalistic instincts of the prisoners to be downright appalling, not to mention the very natures of the guards that have been hired to, forgive me, supposedly keep those same prisoners in some healthy conditions.” Sheepishly, her hand went to a strand of hair against her ear and pushed it behind. “Yet, that is why it was decided to put them in there, thus it should not be a surprise that their natures are finally coming out.”

“And what natures are we talking about?”

“Commandant Waeckerle made an experiment while he was still in charge,” Hanna admitted. “He made it known about one of the prisoner’s homosexual tendencies. The prisoner was admitted into the infirmary with at least twenty stab wounds to his abdomen, done from all sorts of makeshift knives by his fellow inmates. He died, painfully. The guards stood there, taking bets on how long he would ultimately last.  Similar situations have occurred with all the Commandants.  Commandant Deubel did so on a regular basis.”

“That was never reported. Considering what had happened with the  _Oberfuehrer_ at Passau, I would not be surprised, though,” Himmler stated. “We have to find a cure for that illness, for that mental deterioration of all that is good, the perversion and aberration of healthy, strong, manly individuals into weak aberrations. This plague will be the end of the German people and the true German.

“It is our duty to cure the individuals of the Reich, not just that plague, though that is definitely a dominating factor in the decline. Millions of men were killed during the Great War and millions of men are afflicted with the plague of deviance, four million if estimates are to be believed. While cures must be developed for the rest of these  _untermensch_ , including those imbeciles,” Himmler stated impassively. “The supposedly incurable, regretfully, cannot be allowed to infest the general population, which, assuming what I have heard of you from the reports, you can understand the meaning.”

“I do,  _Herr Reichsfuehrer_ ,” Hanna replied. “The infestation of such,” she thought for a second of the proper word, “destructive elements would mean death for the Reich and the German people.”

“A people of good race which has too few children has a sure ticket for the grave, for insignificance in fifty to one hundred years, burial in two hundred and fifty years. I, as an example of the Aryan, of the manly nature of true German stock, cannot and will not allow that to happen. The people I serve, the Reich, itself, cannot be condemned to obscurity,” Himmler announced. His closed fist slammed into his palm.

“No, sir,” Hanna replied. “We cannot allow that to happen. The Reich cannot be allowed to fall, not as we are growing stronger with each day, emerging again as a power to behold and reckon. To be feared amidst the chaos that continues to unfold around us, sir.”

“Well said,” Himmler stated. “Come, sit down.” He motioned for the chairs and table before stepping over and pulling the chair back, waiting for Hanna to sit down in the chair. He moved around the table, taking his own seat.

“Now, I have a situation,” Himmler stated, leaning forward. “ _Fuehrer_ Hitler asked me to develop a contingency plan for a hypothetical situation.” Hanna’s interest piqued at the thought. “He asked me to plan for a war from the rest of Europe.”

Hanna raised an eyebrow. “Why?”

“I trust you know that the rest of Europe wishes us harm, that France and England have spread their anti-German hatred throughout, their lies only serving their cause.” Himmler turned away from Hanna. “Those foolish  _schwein_.” He returned his sights to Hanna. “It’s not working as well as they thought it would, but that’s beside this meeting point.

“If, hypothetically, we were to be involved in a major conflict,” Himmler started, pausing for a moment, “one can only imagine that it would progress very similarly to the way the Great War did. As much as no one wishes to talk about it, we are surrounded by the enemies, except that, this time, we have seen fit to eliminate a third of the problems.” Hanna raised an inquisitive eyebrow. Himmler continued, sidestepping the unasked question. “The manpower issue is what needs to be resolved.

“Against England and France, we are outnumbered, even with the help of the Italians,” he said the word like a curse.  It made sense.  Hanna knew that many were unhappy with the fact the Reich had made an alliance with the Italians.  Many considered them just above the untermenschen themselves.  “Especially if a surprising number of our men are stuck guarding the camps. We need to get those men to the front at a moment’s notice. I admit, it took several long nights of thinking on the issue, but I finally came to solve it. So I ask you,  _Frau_ Anderman, how would you approach the question?”

“I would not dare to presume-”

“Ah, but I’m asking you to.  Presume away.”

“The problem is insurmountable,” Hanna said.  Her fingers nervously laced themselves in her lap.  “As you have said, we are outnumbered, we have limited men and we cannot expect to hold out against a combined assault, not with men held back to guard the camps.

“That being said,  _Herr Reichsfuehrer_ , there is an option,” Hanna continued. “There are many women who feel they are able to contribute, who would certainly love to contribute and provide their absolute loyalty to the  _Deutsches Reich_. Yet, most women are unable to, due to a combined sexist attitude and lack of education.”

“If I understand correctly, you are advocating for the use of women in positions of the military?”

“Consider how many positions could be freed up specifically for their service on the front lines in this hypothetical war,” Hanna said. “You have many men in nursing positions, they could be freed up for combat medics. Many men could be taken from guards if you put women in there.”

“And how,  _Frau Fuehrerin_ , are we able to ensure these women can do what needs to be done?” Himmler asked.

Hanna thought for a moment.  "I'm sure you have your ways of accomplishing that."

Himmler leaned back for a moment before smiling, a cruel one that carved itself across his features. “I’m glad to see that the dispatches mentioning you were anything but stacks of bullshit.” He crossed his arms across his chest. “It was the same idea that I thought of. Then I had the problem of how to implement that.

“I could try to carry that out with an existing camp, but that could cause problems to arise within the camp,” Himmler stated. “Our newest internment camp, however, is nearing completion up in the Bremerhaven region. A trial period could be set up there in order to explore whether everything could work precisely as we have planned. If it does, we can begin expanding outwards, releasing the men from the work.”

“Yes, sir,” Hanna said.

“I must say, you have been quiet on why I have summoned you here,” Himmler commented.

“I believe you will explain it when the time becomes clear, sir,” Hanna replied.

“And so I shall,” Himmler replied. “I want you to be the one to lead the  _Helferin_ at Bremerhaven and to do so with the same loyalty you have routinely demonstrated.  Assist us with this experiment and you will be remember in the annals of the Thousand Year Reich.  Two squads of guards will be assigned to you, one comprised fully of women and the other of men. They will both answer to you and you will answer to Commandant Otto von Klee. Understood,  _Aufseherin_ Andermann?”

“Understood, completely, sir,” Hanna replied. “For the Fatherland.”

“For  _der Fuehrer_!”

“For  _der Fuehrer_!” Hanna echoed.

“Good, you depart for Bremerhaven at your earliest convenience.” Himmler leaned back in his chair. “First, though, please, stay for dinner, it’ll be a long time before you will be able to dine again,  _Frau Aufseherin_ ,” Himmler smiled. Though it was a simple smile, there was something sinister about it.  It brought up the image of a venomous spider crawling towards its prey.  “Wolfgang, dinner, please.”

“Yes, sir,” a  _Schulzstaffel_ man stated, nodding at Himmler.

“You wouldn’t know it by looking at Wolfgang, but he’s an excellent chef, as well as an excellent driver,” Himmler stated.

“Then I shall eagerly await dinner, sir,” Hanna replied.


	13. "Was There Lust Involved?"

_Blood and Honour  
Chapter XIII: ‘Was there lust involved?’_

_August 1, 1936  
Berlin, Germany_

Though she had long since become accustomed to being seen out in public wearing her grey  _Heer_ uniform, Matilde still suffered the anxiety. The concern of being seen with another woman constantly gripped at her, constantly ate away at her, as she knew what would happen if she was caught by the SS or anyone loyal to the regime. It was omnipresent, surrounding her every time she went out anywhere; sometimes, she worried that even General Kleinmetz was simply waiting for the right moment before he, too, would turn on her.

Looking at the woman sitting next to her in the darkened theater, there was a sense that, on occasion, it was worth the risk she had taken. Matilde had recently recut her hair, back down to what was standard within the  _Heer_ , which only made her look more masculine. Her slightly harder features were a benefit at this time. Indeed, they were a blessing, she admitted, her eyes darting up Eva Weiss next to her, following her soft, gentle features.

It felt wrong that she had taken Eva to the cinema, to watch the opening ceremonies of the Olympic Games. It felt like Matilde was betraying her beloved Hanna. Thoughts of her beloved flooded her, bringing with them deep sadness; it had been months since she had received any messages or communications from her and it worried her more than being discovered by the  _Schutzstaffel_. It seemed that Hanna was trying to tell her that everything was over, that they were finished. Though she wanted to know, Matilde did not want to hear that; did not want to learn that was the case.

The argument had not been the worst they had. No, they had been together far too long for that to have been the case. Yet, it was still the one that seemed to have hurt Hanna the most and, because of that, had hurt Matilde in much the same way. While she had wanted to send a letter off to her, she knew that, many times, their correspondence was being checked. Paranoia and a distinct hatred for homosexuals from Himmler had made certain of that. The  _Schutzstaffel_ had become increasingly vigilant with their checks to flush out what  _Reichsfuehrer_ - _SS_ Himmler had declared to be the plague most responsible for the destruction of Germany, German culture, and the Reich; several times, even just the hint of it was enough to find the individuals guilty.

Though there had been an issue at the beginning with issues of feelings Eva was holding for her, those same issues had never continued after Matilde had first lad down the law in the apartment. Matilde had continued to protect Hanna, denying that Hanna had ever known she was a woman, refusing to admit that Hanna was a lesbian. Though Eva had not given Matilde a reason to distrust her, she had long since decided that, if something was to happen, it would be her and her alone to bear the responsibilities; her beloved Hanna would be spared whatever cruelty that befell Matilde. Still, Matilde hated to admit it, though she loved Hanna with all her heart and without hesitation, there was the yearning and desire for company beyond the simple friendship that Eva continued to give.  
Matilde’s eyes drifted down the shape of Eva’s body, over the voluptuous breasts, across the skirt draped over her legs, down the legs. The legs were barely visible in the grey illuminations of the film reel on the screen, but Matilde could still see them enough to smile to herself. She was scared at the thought, worried about how it would play out, especially with the lack of extra strenuous activity she had engaged in within the last several months. Her eyes dropped as she hated herself for even thinking of that.

She could not,  _would_ not, betray the trust and love that Hanna had devoted to her from the beginning. For Matilde, it  _would_ not change, not unless she received actual confirmation that Hanna wanted nothing to do with her. Until that time, she would remain true to her beloved.

Rather, she hoped she could.

The betrayal that ate away at her threatened to overrule her love. Even as she leaned back in the cinema’s chairs, the ceremonies on the screen proceeding without hesitation or care at how conflicted Matilde was, questions rippled across her thoughts. Each question caused her to hate herself more than the last.

How could it be that Hanna would simply depart without any care or concern? Hanna had always sent messages to her, had always found a way to get her love to Matilde. Most of the time, Matilde knew, it had been their respective husbands. Leaving Matilde in a darkness was not like her.

Why would she have done what had, at one point, been the unthinkable between them? She knew it could not have been entirely been the argument, that was a drop in a pod compared to the larger ones fought in all their years together. At one point, they would have simply stayed and talked everything through, determined what had happened and attempted to fix it.

It scared Matilde. It  _terrified_ Matilde of the changes Hanna was going through; they were not like the Hanna she had fallen in love with, had lived with for years. She wanted to desperately find who or what was corrupting the love of her life, to stop them from destroying everything that made Hanna the woman she loved.

On the screen, nations upon nations seemed to march in front of the camera, an endless array of people and flags, each nation displaying their nation’s flags and showing off each of their splendors. The flag bearers dipped their flags in front of  _Fuehrer_ Hitler and the Olympic officials, several nations giving the stiff-arm salute. Cheers erupted from around the cinema, throughout the chairs around Eva and Matilde at each salute. The cacophony of raucous cheers and salutes rose in intensity as the Bulgarians performed the goose-step march as they were in front of the  _Fuehrer_.

As the countries began drawing to a close, the United States drew boos and scorn from the men and women around Matilde, including Eva, as they marched without a single dip of their flag, even as they stepped in front of Fuehrer Hitler. The jeers were deafening, as though she had entered one of her classrooms to find an MG-42 firing within. Cries of hatred and threats seemed to flow all around her, as though she had been jammed into a Roman coliseum during the height of the Roman Empire, waiting for the tigers to be loosed and her to be shredded to mere scraps of flesh.

In a matter of mere seconds, it all went silent.

One screen, words appeared.  _Our_ Fuehrer,  _Adolf Hitler, speaks: I proclaim the Games of Berlin, celebrating the eleventh Olympiad of the modern era, to be open_. Another title card appeared:  _The Olympic Hymn, by German composer Richard Strauss, plays_.

“I would have loved to have gone to see it in person, Matti,” Eva whispered.

It was strange. Anyone else who would have referred to her by her nickname, with the exception of Hanna, Matilde hated hearing it from. Yet, when Eva said it, Matilde accepted it without pause or hesitation, as though it was Hanna saying it. There was something within, something that Matilde could not deny, even as she found to.

“So would I,” Matilde whispered back.

Had it been just her, it would have been easy enough to attend. General Kleinmetz had even made it clear that she could have accompanied him as his attache, if she had so wanted to. He would have covered, she knew, would have pulled rank, used everything he knew to slide her by without having her questioned or searched. Anyone wanting to question her would have held back in the face of General Kleinmetz; especially when he began throwing his rank around. Angering General Kleinmetz was one way to ensure the worst duties imaginable within the Reich became that individuals.

When angered, the Great War veteran, who had survived such Hells as Vimy and Passchendaele, looked more like a raging tiger than the forty-nine year old veteran he was.

It was a risk taking Eva out to the cinema. Though it had not been announced that they were looking for her, and Matilde doubted they were, considering they had more important things that needed their direct attention, Matilde could hardly risk it. She could not begin to imagine what suffering she would be subjected to at the hands of her comrades in arms if they discovered she was a woman.

She trusted Eva not to purposely out her in the eyes of anyone else, that was still one cause of anxiety. Eva had not been with her like Hanna, had not developed the same patterns and routines that Hanna had. To have taken Eva to a place that was in the spotlight, such as the Olympic Games, only invited disaster, regardless of how much she trusted Eva.

Matilde was sure that it would have been the same if she had taken Hanna to the ceremonies.

“If she had even wanted to in the first place,” Matilde muttered to herself, depressingly.

“Pardon, Matti?” Eva whispered.

“Nothing,” Matilde replied.

The film started and everyone in the theatre went quiet, the first images of black and white appearing on the screen, announcing the actors and actress within. The lead actress stepped through a doorframe into the scene as the title seemed to blow away. To Matilde, it was like a ghost had stepped forth, one that had inadvertently stabbed deep into her heart and caused it to bleed. The actress looked like Hanna.

Matilde wanted to slap herself for the hundredth time. She could not believe how stupid she had been to willingly allow Hanna to simply walk out without an argument. Matilde had simply let the woman she loved leave for no reason and she could not begin to develop even the barest of ideas as to why that was. The only thing she knew for sure was that she hated herself for it and would, in all likelihood, hate herself for the rest of her life.

 _Why did I bring her here_? Matilde thought to herself, glancing over at Eva.  _This was our theater_ , Matilde’s internal tone filled with depression,  _our place, our first date in Berlin_.

Her hand gripped the armrest of the theater chairs,  _Because you left, Hanna_!  _That’s why_!  _This could have been you here with me right now, you could have been here beside me_!

For a moment, she was worried that her grip was going to break the armrests before she released them. If the person sitting next to her noticed anything, they said nothing. There were many times that Matilde was thankful she wore the uniform of the  _Heer_ ; people were less likely to ‘notice’ anything.

 _What was she supposed to think, stupid_? Matilde cursed herself.  _You brought another woman back with you, into your apartment. Not only that, but you knew when you did that Hanna wasn’t going to be there after that night_!

 _What else was I supposed to do, let the SS take her_?  _Let them have their way with her_? Matilde withheld the urge to slam her palm down. She certainly did not need to scare everyone around her, nor did she need to be taken away because people thought she was insane.  _Yet, I put the crosshairs on us both_ , she realized and admitted. I wanted to save someone from the grip of the Reich, and I put us both in unimaginable danger. The image of Hanna leaving, the sadness in her eyes as she looked towards Matilde, came unbidden. It was obvious that whatever Hanna had thought Matilde wanted to happen had hurt, even if Matilde herself had no intention of such an endeavour.  _Had you seen something, my love_?  _Was there something that I did, that I showed that made saving Eva that unbearable to you_?

 _Was there lust involved_?

The question lingered in Matilde’s thoughts. It hung heavily, weighing down on her, crushing her beneath it. Was that the reality? Had she let her eyes wander, had they done so to Eva each time she had come around?

 _No_!  _There’s no way_!

Yet, as soft skin slid over her hand and Matilde looked over, those words sounded hollow, even to her. Matilde felt her own heart race at the contact, at the feeling of Eva’s hand atop hers.

 _Did I_?  _Had I sought Eva out simply for some lust_? The question lingered.  _No_! Matilde vehemently denied.  _It can’t be_!  _I couldn’t, I wouldn’t_.

The physiological evidence could not be disputed.

At first, Eva had made the advances, yes, Matilde admitted. In the months since Hanna had left, Eva had kept up the apartment, though Matilde was still happy that neither Friedrich nor Maximilian had returned home to find her. Matilde was sure that would have caused some issues.

Yet, it could not be, though.

She truly, passionately loved Hanna.

‘ _The lady doth protest too much_ ’, Matilde thought to herself.

Matilde found it impossible to believe that she had been in the argument, even if it had been entirely within herself, for long enough that the film had progressed to the climax. The hero was leaving, the female lead was arguing and trying to get the hero to stay behind. The audience knew where he was going, this was a film on the Great War, with propaganda thrown in.

Matilde could hear the jeers and curses, she could sense the change from the heroic Private Wilhelm Marz, marching down the street, to the hated and reviled characters standing off to the side, refusing to fight. The film, keeping with the Nazi propaganda, presented those as the  _Untermensch_ , showed them as being Jewish and Gypsies, Communists and pacifists, anything opposite the noble Private Marz.

Matilde felt Eva’s hand tighten around hers as the film scene changed. It showed a devastated field, bodies lying around, mangled remains showing the destruction of war. Matilde looked over at Eva, the flashing from the screen illuminating her features, showing Eva in a grey colour. The look on her face was strange – at least, to Matilde.

Worry and concern seemed present in Eva’s eyes as her hand clasped Matilde’s. Matilde wanted to ask what the concern was about, the film was not about to hurt anyone, let alone her. Matilde could not believe Eva was that naive – she had lived alongside her for six months, she had not seen the evidence that would add credence to that.

Again, there was jeers as a character refused to fight forward, to the enemy lines. There was no explanation involved, nor needed; it was just another coward, another one refusing to fight for the fatherland. A raucous cacophony of cheers erupted, startling Matilde for a moment and causing Eva to jump in shock, people rising from their seats and clapping as Private Marz stood defiantly at the edge of the trench, raising the flag of the German Empire over the sea of dead. It was an incredible scene, but Matilde knew that it would not have happened as that.

As the film ended, scrolling text announced that the Great War had only been lost due to the failure of the Jews and sub-humans, who allowed the great and unstoppable Imperial Army to be crushed and destroyed. The blame continued, stated that, had it not been for those traitorous elements within the German Empire, the Empire would have emerged victorious. Matilde had to stifle her cynical snicker at the words.

It was all lies.

She had not been privy to the battles and fighting, had grown up in the years after, but it was not hard to decipher reality from the fiction the Nazis were pressing. The United States had entered the war by the time the Russian Front had concluded. The men who had been battling the Russians had made little impact on the conflict in the West, becoming more cannon fodder for the rising numbers of English and allies. Matilde could tell, though, that it did not matter to the masses.

No, they wanted someone to blame for the troubles they had experienced. They wanted vengeance for the suffering they had endured. It mattered little to them who it was. The Nazis offered the scapegoat and the masses were jumping on that wagon.

The film concluded, but the questions raised still lingered. Even as she rose from her seat, Matilde denied the thoughts to herself. They could not be true, there could be nothing there that would make it true. Every question she had raised, they were just self-doubts. She leaned over, helping Eva to her feet before moving along, following the rest of the cinema patrons out.

The weather was chilled, the ground wet as the two women left the cinema. It had rained, again, while they had been watching the film, which had surprised Matilde. She, as the rest of those people within, had expected the usual ‘ _Fuehrer_ Weather’, the warm, sunny, and welcoming embrace that always accompanied the Nazi party gatherings and Hitler’s big speeches. Matilde was glad she was wearing the uniform jacket.

She looked over at Eva, a shiver running down her form. Matilde pulled her uniform jacket off before placing it over Eva’s shoulder, atop the jacket Eva was already wearing. The quivering that ran through Eva’s body slowed, then stopped altogether. Eva looked over at her for a moment, an inquisitive look on her features.

“What about you?” Eva asked curiously.

“A gentleman always surrenders his jacket to a freezing lady,” Matilde said.

She offered a smile to a passing couple, who nodded their approval as they stated it was ‘refreshing to see a fine young gentleman giving up his coat for a beautiful young lady’. A blush appeared on Eva’s face at the compliment and she turned away from Matilde as quickly as the heat rose in her cheeks.

They walked down the street for a few minutes before Eva snuggled up to Matilde. Matilde looked before Eva stated, “You need heat, too, oh soldier boy.”

In the glowing moonlight, it felt like a romantic gesture to Matilde. She wanted to push Eva away, to vehemently and adamantly reaffirm her love for Hanna! Yet, she did not. Eva continued to lean up against her and Matilde allowed it.

Time passed quickly as they moved towards the apartment. It seemed, to Matilde, as though even time, itself, was trying to tell her to take a step away from Hanna. For that, she wanted to push it in the face, hard enough to break it.

It felt like only seconds before they reached the doors to their apartment. Matilde opened it, allowing Eva to step inside before following. She allowed the door to swing shut, the door clanging against its frame. The sound reverberated down the hall and Eva giggled, as though they were doing something exciting by just coming back at night. Matilde looked down at Eva, shaking her head with a smirk on her face.

They climbed up the steps towards their apartment. Each step simply seemed not to be there, as though they had just fluttered up the steps like a pair of angels ascending. Matilde could feel her own heart racing, a bizarre anticipation that she could not believe was happening. She could not believe that, even subconsciously, she wanted to be alone with Eva.

“Matti?”

The sound of Eva’s sweet voice snapped Matilde back to reality and she glanced at Eva. Matilde felt a distinct yearning and wanting as she stared at Eva. She wanted to feel the soft touch of Eva’s hand. She wanted to feel as though she was truly wanted by someone. She wanted to feel someone’s embrace that said she was important.

 _You are important, stupid_!  _You’re important to Hanna, idiot_! Matilde scolded herself.

Still, she could not deny everything within her. She wanted to feel something. She needed to be reminded of what was missing from her.

The two women stepped up to the door to the apartment. With a quick twist of the key in the lock, Matilde unlocked it, opening it and allowing Eva to step in. Quickly, she stepped through the door, closing it behind her and deftly locking, before turning to face Eva.

“That was definitely an interesting-” Eva started. She never finished.

Matilde’s lips pressed against hers and her back was pushed against the wall. Eva melted, barely resisting. The months of lust, yearning, and want all overruled her senses

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and concrit appreciated. Look forward to hearing from you.


End file.
